Our pals at Decibel and Metal Injection are sponsoring a co-headlining Hate Eternal/Origin tour this summer, with Vital Remains and Abysmal Dawn doing support. And you don’t really need to know anything else other than the answer to “Where can I buy my ticket?” I mean I’m sure some of you in the comments section will be like “This tour is no biggie,” and I just wanna let you know right now that I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE’RE BOTH MEMBERS OF THE SAME SPECIES. That’s how excited I am for this tour.

This like last year’s Super Orgasm Tour, only for br00tal death metal bands instead of nerdy prog metal dorks. And I feel like I haven’t had the chance to see Hate Eternal or Origin live in a long, long time — like, a couple of years — so I’m even harder than I’d probably be under normal circumstances. But you’re eyes don’t deceive you, that is definitely a bulge in my jeans.

I am going to stop showering now in anticipation of fitting in with the rest of the crowd. While I go throw away all my soap, you can get dates after the jump.

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Welcome to the latest edition of “Freeloader” in which we review albums that you don’t have to feel like a douche for downloading for free. Today Satan Rosenbloom checks out the debut release from Derek Roddy’s Serpents Rise.

It seems like only yesterday that MetalSucks posted the he said/he said account of journeyman drummer Derek Roddy’s departure from Today Is the Day. We know from Steve Austin’s marathon bitch session with Axl back in 2008 that the TITD frontman found Roddy to be a whiny, egomaniacal toolbag that hated his fans and only cared about money.

While I don’t know enough about Roddy to confirm or deny those accusations, the distribution plan for the long-awaited debut by his instrumental Serpents Rise project paints Roddy as a lot more fan-friendly than Austin’s criticisms would suggest. Roddy’s talked to the press about his intention to release the album for free since 2006, the same year he left Hate Eternal; he released a number of free demo tracks via his website in 2008, and followed through with a free finished product in late 2010. And he’s also up-front about involving fans in the project. Quoth the Rowdy Roddy on his website forum: “Serpents Rise….is an instrumental entity…But, this does not mean that we are opposed to hearing what vocal possibilities exist….Whether in your car, in your bedroom, on stage covering one of our songs, posting clips of you singing our tunes on YouTube OR….in the event that we show up in your town…..you sing with us on stage! Have fun…create!” Does that sound like the sentiment of an egomaniacal toolbag?

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Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

I’m one of those dipshits who has shamefully mumbled, “I kind of liked the first two Korn albums…” in casual conversation. The karmic penalty has been paid frequently over the last 15 years, from the time a 5’1” girl punched me in the dick during “Faget” at the Cleveland Odeon to every time I have to endure someone trumpeting that they were raised on Morrisound death and never listened to that “poser shit.” The latter of which being just so fucking annoying — the first band (or “band”) everyone got into was either a) something nightmarish your folks played every day, like the Eagles, b) some variation of a boy band, or c) GN’R, which is the most realistic best-case scenario.

Anyway, Korn and Limp Bizkit are the focus of an exceptionally well-written ongoing Onion AV Club series called “Whatever Happened to Alternative Nation,” and just seeing that pic of Jonathan Davis and Fred Durst under their umbrella triggers many still-unreconciled memories for perhaps a few of you guys, and quite a few Decibel staffers. Shane Mehling is among the latter — if “All in the Family” were actually available in a karaoke book, I have no doubt that we could perform it without looking at the screen once. He doesn’t just own up to this on the Deciblog, but even serves up a super classy yearbook photo cementing the sickness. Luckily, this paean to idiocy was preceded by Adrien Begrand’s typically sharp/mercifully not novel-length Justify Your Shitty Taste on Iron Maiden’s The X Factor!, a lifetime contender for most disquieting, yet not even close to cool album cover. Shit, it must be 1995 week on our blog, because evidently Chris Dick just let Dez Fafara write 550 words about, uh, redheads.

We’ll end on a much radder note. If you snap up a dB subscription by Monday at 5pm, we’ll throw you a Valentine’s Day boner — an exclusive, downloadable printable Valentine’s Day by the great extreme cover artist Paul Romano (Mastodon, Hate Eternal, Withered, other highly shitty bands, although a plenty of bands are highly shitty compared to those three).

-AB

You can buy the March 2011 issue of Decibel here, or get a full subscription to get down with the sickness each and every month.

Mark LeVine is a professor at the University of California, Irvine, who has spent the better part of his life trying to understand and teach about the Middle East and Muslim world.  Part of this has been fueled by his interest in music – Mark is both a performer and fan of heavy metal (and other, lesser genres).  This interest led Mark to write Heavy Metal Islam: Rock, Resistance, and the Struggle for the Soul of Islam, a book that upends the simple “us vs. them” ideas about the Islamic world that tend to lead to things like war and death.  The book’s stories and message have proven so compelling that a CD of the music covered – Flowers in the Desert – and an upcoming documentary continue to tell the story, as does Mark’s website.

I was able to grab an hour of Mark’s time over the phone on Friday.  I peppered him with some questions around a topic that has plagued Americans for over a century – “What the hell is going on over in the Middle East?”

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Why, it was just a couple of days ago that we learned that bassist Terry Butler and drummer Greg Gall have both quit Six Feet Under, and already, the band has announced a replacement for Gall: Kevin Talley, who is joining the group as part of his apparent bid to play with every band ever at least once. (Already on his resumé: Daath, Chimaira, Misery Index, Dying Fetus, Hate Eternal, Suffocation, The Black Dahlia Murder, The Red Chord, and probably fifteen other bands I’m forgetting about.)

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For some reason, internet metal nerds love to talk about drummers, even if they themselves do not play drums. Whether it’s “Who has the fastest double bass/blastbeats?”, “Should I use one bass drum or two?” or “What does Pete Sandoval’s drum throne smell like?”, there are few things more tiresome than the topic of metal drumming. What that in mind, in this post I will put the discussion of this topic to rest forever by conclusively saying all that there is to say about metal drumming. After this post has been published, anyone who still debates these points is as foolish, ignorant and stubborn as people who believe the Earth is flat or that God exists. So if you have anything to say, say it now, because this is it — this is your chance to become part of the moment in which we closed the door on dorky, redundant debates about metal drumming.

This is THE FINAL WORD on metal drumming!!!!

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means we’re taking off early today and won’t be back ’til Monday. We’re sorry to leave non-American readers high n’ dry, but PLUS ONE FOR FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKERS.

ANYWAY, in honor of the holiday, we decided to do a special Turkey Day-themed QOTW designed to make you feel all warm and cuddly inside:

WHAT (IN METAL) ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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A few hours ago authorities evacuated Times Square for the second time in a week after someone found a “suspicious cooler” on the street. Of course, everyone was just being overly cautious, but as long as it doesn’t infringe on my civil rights, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. I think Vince was in Michigan when 9/11 went down, but I was here, and if I never see another tank rolling down my street again or run all over the city because there’s no cell service and I need to make sure that all of my friends and family are still alive, well, I’ll be good.

While I nurse my PTSD, here are some happier, metalier things that happened this week:

• We’re streaming Keep of Kalessin’s new album, Reptilian. We also debuted new music by Lamb of God and The Funeral Pyre.
• We also also also debuted new videos by Soulfly and Cancer Bats.
• We also also also also debuted our new cooking show, Cooking Contaminated.
• Cynic’s Paul Masvidal discussed the shape of silence, Periphery’s Bulb taught you how to get that “big” studio tone, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa had some questions about L O S T, Matt from Rumpelstiltskin Grinder fondly recalled Maryland Deathfest, and Batillus bassist Willi Stabenau gave us a studio update.
• We talked to Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum, Reign Supreme’s Jay Pepito,  Jackyl’s Jesse James Dupree, and unveiled part one of our massive two-part interview with Buzz Osborne.
• We checked out the latest release by The Howling Wind.
• Does the fact that Mike Portnoy is touring with Avenged Sevenfold make you wanna see ‘em?
• We don’t want Joey Belladonna to return to Anthrax. Seriously.
• Sergeant D. wants to know if u mosh 4 Christ???
• Damnocracy’s Evan Seinfeld and his porno Howdy Doody also do bar mitzvahs.
• We wish there was really such a thing as a Slayer burrito.

Next week brings even more betterer br00tal goodness – interviews, debuts, guest blogs, all that shit. It’s gonna get real up in this bitch. See ya then.

-AR

Welcome to the very first installment of Cooking Contaminated, the brand new heavy metal cooking show brought to you by MetalSucks and your host, Eli Shaika! This episode’s guests are vocalist Mike Hrubovcak of Monstrosity and his brother, bassist JJ Hrubovcak of Hate Eternal. No recipe could be more fitting for a couple of Poles than classic home-made pierogis, coupled with Eli’s own special bacon, chive and sour cream topping. Watch the video below; you’ll find a list of ingredients after the jump so you know what to buy at the supermarket.

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I guess some metal dudes are annoyed by neo-thrash metal bands like Warbringer, Mantic Ritual, and Municipal Waste. No scene is fun for everyone, so whatever, to each his own and all that. But even if Whorebanger, Spandex Ritual, and Munificent Waste make music of no appeal to your fun-hating ear, frankly, I still insist that you acknowledge their value to metal as a genre. First, each makes music that sounds like five guys making music, which feels great when you’re overwhelmed by metal that sounds like the universe collapsing onto itself (SYL, Emperor), a jet landing in your eye socket (Hate Eternal, Minus’ Jesus Christ Bobby), or mankind’s overthrow by fridge-raiding Nazi robots from the future (Fear Factory). Of course, I love that enormity in metal, especially when it’s the expression of an awareness of Earth’s microscopic significance in the universe. But sometimes it’s more fun to just rock out with a bunch of heshers. That’s good thrash metal. It sounds great at the beach.

And a second and unexpected side effect of neo-thrash’s artistic and commercial successes is their impact on other metal bands. This is all conjecture and surmise, but Municipal Waste’s records are big winners, and now we got a goddamn fucking D.R.I. reunion tour to enjoy. And isn’t it reasonable to conclude that Warbringer’s success would provide a shot of confidence and vigor to elder thrash bands, like fucking awesome Overkill? If you’ve heard their excellent 238th record, Ironbound, you know it’s all energetic and snappy metal (normal for them), but also that it’s their most unabashedly thrashy record in forever. And few deserve wallet-love as much as Overkill, who, contrary to their name, exemplify the unpretentious hesher approach. (See The Years Of Decay‘s “I Hate” which features gang vocals that sound like six dirtballs hollering out the back of a van, not a million-strong army of angry mutant outcasts, like say “Hook In Mouth” by Megadeth.) Big sales or not, Overkill did their part and made a metal record to be reckoned with. For this, we can thank the best neo-thrash bands and fans. For the best parts of neo-thrash, we can thank Overkill.

-ADF

He’d have to be to sign on as the producer of the new Malevolent Creation album. After all, doing so means risking getting shot in the face.

In case you don’t recall, MC guitarist Phil Fasciana claimed last summer that he was a big hero after single-handedly stopping a convenience store robbery by shooting the perpetrator in the face. Accusations of the story being bullshit arose pretty quickly, and Fasciana responded by proving that he should never ever act as his own attorney.

Now Rutan – who has to be one of the most consistently inspiring forces in metal today – is set to start working in April on Malevolent Creation’s latest. While we pray he doesn’t piss off Fasciana and escapes with his grill intact, at least we know the new MC album will sound amazing.

No word on whether or not Rutan is being paid in chocolate milk.

-AR

As we mentioned earlier today, next Thursday we’ll run the MS staffs’ various year end lists. Of course, that means that the MS staff has to start turning them in now. And as we’ve begun the editing process, we’ve been reassured of what we already knew: opinions are like assholes. Everybody’s got one. But what’s more fun than smoking weed, listening to good music, and engaging in intellectual (or semi-intellectual) debate with good friends? For our money, nothing. That’s why we started MetalSucks in the first place!

Here were some sources of intellectual debate this week:

• We looked at a series of dreadful demos, the last of which was epic (and not dreadful at all).
• We spoke with Eric Peterson of Testament and Robb Flynn of Machine Head.
• Devin Townsend got deep.
• Marduk’s Mortuus body-slammed a would-be hugging fan.
• Mastodon are officially on the radar of mainstream publications like Time.
• We mourned the loss of Dimebag Darrell 5 years ago this week.
• We proclaimed Hate Eternal and System of a Down underappreciated.

Now we challenge you to start guessing which albums which MS writers will name as their favorites. Anyone who guesses correctly wins the knowledge that they probably read this site way too much when they should be working, or fucking, or doing almost anything else.

And then on Thursday we’ll unveil all the lists.

-Vince & Axl

Over at Invisible Oranges, Cosmo Lee recently revealed his own #1 pick for Decibel’s 100 Greatest Metal Albums of the Decade: Hate Eternal’s 2005 release, I, Monarch. I don’t have that magazine in front of me, but if memory serves, it didn’t make the list. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen it – or any other Hate Eternal albums – on any decade-end lists.

I, Monarch isn’t my favorite Hate Eternal album – I’d argue that Erik Rutan far surpassed it with 2008′s Fury and Flames – but it is an awesome, awesome album. Few, if any, bands make more brutal music than Hate Eternal, and Rutan is constantly pushing the envelope of what death metal can be.

So here’s “I, Monarch” – the song – in Cosmo and Rutan’s honor.

Find out my own personal favorite Hate Eternal song after the jump.

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Although I know of at least one groupie who probably would like to see the fellas in Born of Osiris forcefully lose their butt cherries, this article is actually about the below video, which Sergeant D. brilliantly included in his review of a recent Hatebreed/Cannibal Corpse/Hate Eternal/BOO gig.

The clip is noteworthy for two reasons:

1. It’s just funny to see some kids in a deathcore cover band playing to fifteen people in their school gym. As Sergeant D. notes, when the kids start moshing at the 47 second mark, it makes you “wish you could spray everybody under 21 in the face with AIDS.”
2. This band calls themselves “The Rapist.” What a charming band name. Clearly, The Rapist should be signed to Sumerian ASAP, so that they can rape rape rape all across this great land.

Fear for the future of our world, people.

-AR

Shame on me for having never heard of Australia’s Portal before. I just got their new album, Swarth (which apparently means “land covered with grassy turf”… metal teaches me a new word again!), last week, and it’s blowing my mind. I don’t even know how to describe it; it’s death metal, I guess, but it’s really pushing the limits of what “music” as a concept is. It almost reminds me of Hate Eternal, but that’s not really fair to Portal or Erik Rutan. They are just a really, really unique monster.

And I do mean “monster.” Like I said, this is really pushing the boundaries between music and noise. It’s just fucking evil, man. I’ll try to write a review one of these days, but in the meantime, I implore you to check out Portal on MySpace and buy Swarth for yourself – it just came out this week on Profound Lore.

And, oh yeah, apparently they wear costumes. Here they are doing the song “Glumurphonel” from their 2003 debut, Seepia.

For the time being it seems that Portal live shows are restricted to their native land, but they have been added to the already amazing Maryland Deathfest 2010 line-up, which will also include Converge, Eyehategod, Melechesh, Obituary, and grind gods Gridlink.

-AR

Why oh why are By Any Means Necessary still unsigned? Their three-song demo/EP or whatever rocked. I know they’re young, but so are half the bands out there right now. And most of them aren’t as good as BAMN (there’s an awesome abbreviation if ever there was one).

Hopefully this news will lead to good things, though: the band will be playing support for Divine Heresy and Gigan (featuring former members of Hate Eternal) on six tour dates next month. I’ve still never seen this band live, but if their shows are as good as their songs, I’d wager it’ll be a lot of fun – way more fun that, say, Divine Heresy.

By Any Means Necessary recently completed tracking for their new EP and are currently mixing those songs. Hopefully we’ll more updates on that soon; in the meantime, get tour dates after the jump, and please check these guys out if you can.

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First of all, for our non-Chosen readers: groyse metsie is Yiddish for a bargain. Don’t say I never taught ya nuthin’.

So. For the month of October (or “Rocktober,” as some clever marketing types are dubbing it), Earache is offering a whole bunch of truly righteous albums from their catalog for download on iTunes at a retardedly low price: $5.99 in the U.S., £4.49 in the U.K., and 4,99EUR in Europe. (The press release tells me that “prices may vary in other regions.” Ha-ha.) Now, I know that most of us music snobs don’t like iTunes because the audio quality isn’t as high as it could be, and there’s a better-than-average chance that a lot of you own most of these albums anyway. But if you can get past the whole “IT’S NOT AS GOOD AS FLAC! Snort snort” thing and/or for some reason DO NOT already own most of these albums, it’s a really, really killer deal.

A complete list of available albums after the jump. At least six or seven of these are classics, and nine or so are still awesome and could be classics, so they’re totally worth the six bucks or whatever.

And then one of them is by Oceano.

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All Shall Perish just released a montage of various live footage taken from their recent MetalSucks co-sponsored tour with Job For a Cowboy, Hate Eternal (until they dropped off), Animosity and Annotations of An Autopsy. Check out JFAC’s Jonny Davy’s exclusive MetalSucks tour blogs, then watch the live All Shall Perish br00tality unfold below.

-VN

Here’s some crappy quality fan-filmed footage of Job for a Cowboy performing a new song, “Constitutional Masturbation,” during their recent, MetalSucks co-sponsored trek with All Shall Perish, Animosity and Annotations of an Autopsy (and, all too briefly, Hate Eternal). It’s difficult to hear much with the poor audio quality, but that main riff does sound potentially crushing. In any case, there’ll be a new JFAC album within the next twelve months, so we’ll know soon enough.

Read JFAC front man Jonny Davy’s hilarious, MetalSucks-exclusive tour blogs here and here.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

We recently asked Job for a Cowboy vocalist Jonny Davy to write a tour blog for the band’s MetalSucks co-sponsored headlining trek with Hate Eternal, All Shall Perish, Animosity and Annotations of an Autopsy. Davy’s second entry is below; in case ya missed it, you can read the first edition here. Enjoy!

Theres that cute little hillbilly everyone loves.

I’m sorry that all my stories have to deal with being drunk. Our current sound guy is a little hillbilly. He obsessively talks about guns, hunting and fishing. He sleeps in the middle of the woods down south. Litterally. He jumps on a boat, smokes pot and goes fishing for 10 hours a day every weekend. He sits at home and guts the animals he’s hunt and shot down while drinking moonshine. Literrally. He introduced us to Wild Turkey 101. A bourbon with one hell of a powerful kick as it washes down your throat. Its already made Jack Daniels, Jameson and Jim Bean taste like mere diet soda. Well, about a week ago we were hopped up on the damned thing. Burping up flavors Turkey whiskey and stumbling around in our hotel room. Brent was drunk, he ended up attempting to make coffee through the toaster, which inevidably made the toaster short circuit and break. Charn, our drummer decided to throw a flower pot down the hallway and break the TV remote. Which is already annoying. Then, Bobby attempted to call for some late night Dominos pizza. They were closed, he broke the phone in anger. Our tour manager then spent the entire morning trying to wake us up by calling the hotel phone… which was obviously broken.

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