Hey Suckfaces, the Big Four live in Sofia, Bulgaria concert/movie thingy has encore showings tomorrow in select markets and you should totally go! It’s the most fun ever. Even if you’re lukewarm on a band/the bands, the theater-going experience is novel and pretty easy to like. It’s communal (like a concert) and comfortable (good for old people who listen to the Big Four). Plus, the little things: set breaks are excised; the audio is that Live Aid quality which disguises not even the smallest flub or shortcut, almost sickeningly real; close-ups of guitar shredding abound; and mosh pits are way more fun in a movie theater.

But if you just can’t make it to this exciting cinema-concert event cuz you’re in jail still from the Lakers celebration parade or you’re a piteously ugly John Bush fan or whatever, here’s what you’ll miss:

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So I’m still in Atlanta observing Daath as they make their new album (which, unless something goes really, hideously awry between the time I leave and its release date, is going to be so fucking great… people really have no idea what they’re in for), but I just checked my e-mail for the first time in awhile and Ryan Badami sent us a link to the below video of the Big Four photo shoot, and some of it is so goddamn funny I just had to take a minute to write about it.

First of all, good for Hetfield for giving Mustaine that little fist bump. It seems like seeing Mustaine after all this time must be liking being at a party and seeing that crazy bitch you broke up with a million years ago but who is, for some reason, still not over you. So I appreciate Hetfield’s attempt to make things at least kinda-sorta not awkward.

But what mostly amuses me about this video is Joey Belladonna. I know a lot of you think I give him too much shit, but whatever. The dissenting opinion gets its moment in the sun, too, and if you don’t find Joey’s activities in this video funny, you probably have no sense of humor.

Look to the back for Joey waving, then make sure you keep your eyes on him for the rest of the video.

-AR

A band that once appeared to be having a lot of fun, Anthrax has been no laughing matter for a long time now. Fronting the quintet – a position held by four people a total of seven times – is officially the least enviable job not involving Dave Mustaine or handling hot shit. Like, one day Scott Ian’s raving about you, the next day your name is his toilet paper. And even if an odor lingers from their 2005 reunion, Anthrax’s second recall of Joey Belladonna may have been an inevitability. It only became possible at all when Belladonna’s replacement’s much-hyped replacement didn’t pan out, and the product of their short union, Worship Music, was shelved. Of course, post-millennial Anthrax is most predictable in the commerce department, so it didn’t take a crystal ball to foresee their imminent attempts to be enshrined among the genre’s legacy acts; obviously, this is best achieved by the classic line-up, no matter what Bush-boosters may desire.

So for the moment, Belladonna is part of Anthrax’s quest for thrash metal immortality. Still, it was no shock that the singer filled our interview with the verbal equivalent of looking over each shoulder. He spoke with reservation and almost entirely in generalities. Not once did he mention a fellow Anthraxer by name, with the odd exception of John Bush. Even so, Belladonna sounds happy to be home, even if all the furniture has been rearranged and the locks changed. There’s fun to be had anyway; after all, Anthrax was a much bigger band with Belladonna at the helm (and occasionally at the drum kit). I’m no mathematician, but that means he’s got the numbers fan-wise and Big Four nostalgia can only help. I guess we’ll all see.

A week before the first Big Four show, the effusive Belladonna talked to MetalSucks about changing expectations, the fate of Worship Music, musical identity, and the humor of Anthrax.

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Can you imagine if everyone to whom we give endless amounts of shit followed Dino’s example? We’d have Rose Funoral cards and Tommy Lee faking his own death and Fred Durst pulling a Billy Madison and pics of Joey Belladonna with his twig and berries tucked back. That’s the kinda world I wanna live in. I believe we can make it happen if we try.

ANYWAY, here’s some shit we did this week:

• We did a second installment of Cooking Contaminated.
• We’re streaming new tracks by Son of Aurelius.
• Eyal gave us a Daath studio update.
• We spoke to Max Cavalera and Ratt’s Bobby Blotzer.
• We suckered Decibel‘s Andrew Bonazelli into writing about the Metal Mets for us.
• We checked out some new German cheese metal releases.
• We called out David Draiman.
• We watched some great music videos, some awful music videos, and some really awful music videos.
• We made fun of the most annoying little kid in the world.
• We were sorry about Abacabb breaking up, but really happy about BOOBS!!!

Speaking of Eyal and studio updates: on Sunday I’m flying down to Atlanta to visit Daath in the studio. If you never hear from me again, assume I’ve been lost amidst a cloud of ATL purp smoke and awesome metal. But what a way to go!!!

-AR

An actual screen-cap.

The Big Four Comedy Tour rolls on!

Scott Ian gave a video interview to zee German edition of Metal Hammer earlier this month, and when pressed about Joey Belladonna’s status in the band, he was, well… let’s just say “non-committal.” I can’t embed the video, but here are some choice quotes…

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These come from the Facebook page of Joel McIver, author of The Bloody Reign of Slayer, Justice for All: The Truth about Metallica, the upcoming Glenn Hughes autobiography, and a whole mess of other metal books.

First up: Apparently Dave Mustaine is a genius. He has invented a machine which turns sweaty gross old metal dudes into hot chicks in uniform!

This next one is even better, if only because of the caption McIver included: “A sweet little old lady I met backstage.”

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Tonight is the first of the European Big Four shows, and sixteen of the seventeen musicians that now comprise those bands all gathered in one room and put their differences aside long enough to snap this picture (click on it to make it enlarge… heh heh, he said “enlarge”):

Should we over-analyze the reasons why certain people are standing near one another, or far apart, or how they’re standing? Well, this is MetalSucks, ain’t it?

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My top five show flyers… okay, it’s really six, but only because I had a tough time deciding! Keep in mind this is based on the memories, not the flyers themselves!

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Dio died. Isis broke-up. Bret Michaels is back in the hospital. And I just used Dio, Isis, and Bret Michaels in one thought-stream, which, I’m sure, offended somebody.

Luckily, we did manage to have some fun this week:

• Sick of it All’s Lou Koller is counting down his top ten hardcore albums, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa is counting down to the end of L O S T, Batillus’ Fade Kainer is counting down ’til the band can get the fuck outta the studio, Agenda of Swine’s Pete Benumb is counting down to MDF, and Cynic’s Paul Masvidal is counting down to achieving a higher level of being.
• We spoke to Steve Joh from Century Media, Tara Johnson from Disembodied, Emil Werstler from Daath and Levi/Werstler, and Travis Stever from Coheed & Cambria.
• We checked out the latest release from Rosetta.
• Sergeant D. has new slamz 4 u.
• The best music video ever of the week is by… Goldfrapp?
• There are plenty of things we’d rather do than listen to a new Attack Attack! song.
• Endorsement of the new Avenged Sevenfold single = flame war.
• You guys are still arguing about my Korn review. Seriously?
• I’m still upset about John Bush leaving Anthrax again. Seriously.
• We used to love Sweden, but we had to kill it.

And hopefully no one awesome will die or break-up next week.

-AR

Since Anthrax announced last week that they’re bringing Joey Belladonna into the fold, we’ve had one burning question at the forefront of our minds: What the fuck went wrong with John Bush? Scott Ian said “we needed a total commitment to Anthrax, and [Bush] knew that wasn’t what he wanted,” but that’s fairly vague. The rumor was that he didn’t want to tour anymore, but we also recklessly speculated that he didn’t wanna be just a session musician and re-recorded Dan Nelson’s parts for Worship Music – which is perfectly understandable.

Now Blabbermouth’s Ryan Ogle has scored the interview of the week by hunting down Bush and getting his perspective on things. And as it turns out, the rumors and reckless speculation were both kinda true.

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Yep, we talked a lot of smack on Joey Belladonna this week, much to the chagrin of, well, an awful lot of you. I think we’re done for a little while… but I can’t make any promises. Our job at MetalSucks is to amuse ourselves first and foremost, and, well, we thought it was pretty damned funny. So ppppfffftttt.

Here’s what else went down this week:

• We debuted the title track from Nachtmystium’s new album, Addicts.
• Genetic’s Dallas Coyle called us “influential,” Disfear’s Tomas Lindberg shared some Maryland Deathfest memories, The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley unveiled his top four Taco Riffs, Cynic’s Paul Masvidal got burglarized, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa made some new revelations about L O S T, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle worried about turning into an old geezer, Daath’s Eyal Levi gave us a lesson in stage etiquette, and Batillus’ Geoff Summers gave us a new studio update.
• We spoke to The Melvins’ Buzz Osborne, Periphery’s Misha “Bulb” Mansoor, Testament’s Chuck Billy, and Sick of it All’s Lou Koller.
• We checked out new releases by Korn and Ufomammut and Year of No Light.
• Is Mastodon’s Brent Hinds a Mastodick?
• Sergeant D sez Cunthunt777 are your new favorite band.
• Don’t worry, baby, Dr. Danzig gonna cure what ails you.
• Hot chick loves Nergal, hates the Bible.
• Boy oh boy, do we love the new Limp Bizkit cover art!
• If you’re looking for new band members, don’t do this.

Alright. We’re gonna go get drunk and crank We’ve Come For You All in John Bush’s honor. Have a great weekend, everyone.

-AR

We stand by our assessment that re-hiring Joey Belladonna is a desperate move by Anthrax, as well as major artistic step-backwards for Anthrax. Who would have been a better fit for the band? Almost anyone. Herewith, our list of possible candidates that should have superseded Belladonna…

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Through amazing mind-reading technology created by the MetalSucks Mansion Monkey affectionately known as “You Worthless Retard,” MetalSucks was exclusively able to listen-in on Joey Belladonna’s most private thoughts while he contemplated whether or not to return to Anthrax.* What follows is a transcript of those thoughts…

Okay, Joey. Now, let’s be rational. Let’s think this all the way through. Let’s not make any brash decisions this time.

I mean, these dudes have not been cool to me. Remember when they fired me in 1992 for no apparent reason? And they hired me back to do that reunion tour. And then they, uh, y’know. Fired me again. And this time, I found out about it over the internet. They weren’t even good enough to give me a phone call! And then Scott and Charlie talked an awful lot of shit about me in the press, and said that I should “Grow up and be a man. Take responsibility for your life.” And I had, like, no idea what they were talking about. Just a couple of months ago, Scott made fun of me on television! I kinda think it might be because the reunion was less financially successful than we’d hoped. But I don’t really know, ’cause I never actually spoke to them about it.

And now they wanna hire me back! Again! And they want me to sing some other dude’s parts on a new album, without actually contributing anything myself! And the guy is some kid they hired because when John Bush showed a little backbone and refused to come back to the band after I was re-fired, they decided they’d rather work with pretty much anyone but me. Actually, they decided they’d rather work with Corey Taylor than me. But Corey’s business manager had more sense than that, and then they decided they’d rather work with pretty much anyone but me. The nerve!

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I know it’s unusual for us to post about one particular piece of news twice in the same day, but it seems like there’s fuck-all happening this afternoon, and I just this on Blabbermouth, and it is SO GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING HILARIOUS that I just had to say something about it. It’s a segment from VH1′s That Metal Show (which, I admit, I’ve never actually seen before) that aired in March (and was filmed in January). It’s a “Belladonna Vs. Bush” debate, that includes Scott Ian and his wife, Pearl Aday (a.k.a. “Meatloaf’s Daughter.”)

Needless to say, Mr. and Mrs. Ian both side with Bush – in fact, with regards to the Belladonna-Bush switch, Scott even goes so far as to say, “We didn’t need a bird, we needed a lion.”

And this just proves my point: regardless of whether or not you agree with Vince and myself that John Bush r00lz and Joey Belladonna dr00lz, there’s no arguing that they went back to Belladonna for any reason other than they had no choice. This is not some grand artistic move meant to do what was best for the band as a creative entity; it’s a last-ditch act of desperation. Sad, sad, sad.

-AR

Well, this was some shitty news to get first thing in the morning.

Just last week we heard rumors that Anthrax was swapping out John Bush for Joey Belladonna again – and now those rumors are fact. Belladonna will play the “Big Four” shows Sonisphere Festival shows and a handful of other gigs with the band starting next month; immediately thereafter, according to the official press release, “the band will fly back to the U.S. and begin writing and rehearsing for a new album that’s expected to be out in early 2011.”

(And in case you’re wondering, Dan Spitz isn’t returning to the fold, because I guess he’s too busy changing the face of music forever with his revolutionary new project, DeuxMonkey. So, at least for now, Rob Caggiano’s job is safe.)

I hate just cutting and pasting press releases, but for the sake of us all having the same amount of information before I start my little rant, I’m going to re-print a portion of said release after the jump. My holier-than-thou ramblings will follow.

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The other day this rumor started to spread that Joey Belladonna is reuniting with Anthrax yet again, and I expressed displeasure. And a lot of you expressed displeasure with my displeasure. And there seemed to be some confusion over why I actually dislike Joey B. So I thought I’d try to present a semi-rational argument explaining why I so greatly prefer John Bush.

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What. A. Douche.

Excuse me if there are a lotta typos in this post – it’s hard to see the monitor through my tears. Why am I weeping as I type this? Because I just read the following on Blabbermouth:

Former ANTHRAX singer Joey Belladonna was seen with ANTHRAXdrummer Charlie Benante and bassist Frank Bello this past Wednesday (April 28) at the FOZZY concert at B.B. King Blues Club & Grill in New York City, prompting speculation that he is in talks to rejoin the band in time for the group’s upcoming “Big Four” shows in Europe withMETALLICA, MEGADETH and SLAYER. (Belladonna lives in upstate New York while Benante is a Chicago resident, making it somewhat unlikely that this was simply a chance encounter.)

Oh dear sweet God, I’m sorry I ever doubted your existence. Please stop punishing me. Please please please make it so Joey Belladonna is going nowehre near fucking Anthrax ever again. Unless it’s the disease and not the band, in which case, y’know. Rock on.

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Like a lot of people, I first became familiar with Brian Posehn because of his time on David Cross and Bob Odenkirk’s brilliant HBO sketch comedy series, Mr. Show, for which he was also a writer. A few years after that show went off the air, my then-roommate and I went to see Posehn do some stand-up at a comedy club here in New York. I don’t think we were even there to see Posehn specifically – if memory serves, David Cross was the actual draw for us – but he was so funny that I actually laughed so hard I became winded and fell out of my chair. Since then, he’s been on a very, very short list of stand-ups that I never miss the chance to check out when they come through town. Mr. Show sketches about a fictional band called “Titannica” led me to believe that someone on the series’ writing staff was a metal fan, but I didn’t know that it was Posehn until later – and the revelation that he was just as obsessed with metal as I was only made him that much cooler.

Fart and Wiener Jokes, Posehn’s second album for Relapse, comes out today (and you can order a copy here). Like its predecessor, Live: In Nerd Rage, it features not only recordings of his brilliant stand-up, but also an original song he co-wrote with Anthrax’s Scott Ian (“More Metal Than You”) to poke fun at some of metal’s more regrettable foibles. It also has a metal cover of Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler,” and between the two music tracks, Posehn has managed to rope in guest appearances by such all-stars as Jamey Jasta, Mark Morton, Mark Oseguenda, John Tempesta, and Russ Parrish. Assuming you love great comedy and great metal, there’s no way you’re not gonna dig Fart and Wiener Jokes.

A few weeks ago I got to talk to Posehn about putting comedy albums out on a metal label, what it’s like to be friends with some of his boyhood heroes, the state of metal today, his take on the Anthrax vocalist situation, and more. He even turned the tables at the end and asked me a question! Read the complete transcript of our chat after the jump.

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THE ANTHRAX SAGA CONTINUES!

So. If you’re just joining us, here’s the story thus far: Anthrax decided to do a reunion tour with Joey Belladonna, but when they got off the road everyone in the band came to their senses and was like, “Wait, what? We’re not making an album with Joey Belladonna!” But John Bush was all, “You can’t fuck another girl and then ask me to the prom,” so Anthrax needed to get a new singer. They hired this dude no one has ever heard of named Dan Nelson and recorded a new album, Worship Music, which they assured us was going to be the second-coming. But then all of sudden Nelson was out of the band, either because he quit or was fired, depending on who you believe. And then they got John Bush to agree to tour with them again. And now everyone is all, “Is Bush in the band or what?” and Anthrax is all “Fingers crossed!”, which isn’t very reassuring.

On top of all of this, it has now been six and half years since the release of Anthrax’s last album, We’ve Come for You All. The last time anyone waited this long for a new record by an allegedly not-defunct band, it was Chinese Democracy.

Difference is, we finally got to hear Chinese Democracy, and now it looks like we’ll probably never hear Worship Music - at least, not in any official capacity.

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So apparently Ozzfest is coming back this summer, and is coming back as a traveling tour again (as opposed to the one-off fest it was in 2008). And that’s all well and good, only… who’s gonna be on the bill?

Mayhem, which is basically Ozzfest 2.0, has already scooped up a lot of big-name bands for the summer, including many who have played multiple past Ozzfests – namely Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Shadows Fall and Hatebreed, the latter of whom I think have been on something like 90% of all Ozzfests ever.

Add to that other Ozzfest alum like Chimaira, In This Moment and Norma Jean, and some bands the kids today all seem to like, such as Winds of Plague and They Who Shall Not Be Named, and, well, that’s a whole bunch of potential mainstage and second stage draws right there.

Then there’s the mini-fests like Summer Slaughter. I can’t tell you which bands we already know are booked for some of these tours without betraying a lot of people’s confidence, but I can tell you that some great bands are now no longer available for Ozzfest.

And, oh yeah, Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament are now doing their American Carnage tour in the summer, so they’re out.

So who’s left? After the jump, I’m going to play my favorite game: it’s called “over-think about something incredibly unimportant.”

Before we proceed, it’s worth noting that I’m going to try and be semi-realistic when moving forward with some barely-educated guesses about who’ll be playing Ozzfest. If a band already has summer tour dates booked, I’m going to assume they’re not avail, although I acknowledge that they could cancel those dates in favor of playing for a bigger crowd. And I’m not even going to bother with bands like Pig Destroyer, Sigh, and Salome – bands that will play Ozzfest right around the time Joey Belladonna’s solo band plays four sold-out headlining shows at Giants Stadium. Also, obviously not all of these bands are gonna end up on the bill – these are just bands I think could end up there.

And so, without further bullshit…

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