Last week we told you about Tower of Gopal, a satirical new band (or I guess I should say “band”) who seem pretty successful at ripping into both Scionic black metal bands and scene bands; now we’ve learned, via our buddy Sergeant D.’s Stuff You Will Hate, that not only is there a new ToG video, but the group has also launched a Kickstarter page , either to raise money to record their debut album, Party in Front, Merch in Back, or really just to make fun of ex-Attack Attack! guitarist Johnny Franck. Either way, I approve this message.

By the way, make sure you watch this video all the way through — I actually think the funniest bit comes at the end.

Here’s hoping there really is a Party in Front, Merch in Back sometime real soon.

-AR

Kinda looks like his shirt says “SHEART” lol like SHART

So today I got a Twitter message from Johnny Franck, who was the guitarist in Attack Attack!, but he quit bc he was partying too much and felt like he was not being a good Christian. But he is starting a new band called The March Ahead. I guess bc they are a new band they don’t have a lot of money and they are trying to collect $4500 in donations to record their demo with Joey Sturgis and I wanted to ask u guys if you can help!!  He has a page set up where u can donate and here is what it says on there:

Click to read more…

It was a little over a year ago that Rosie O’Donnell quit Attack Attack!, but the band has managed to persevere without her. Unfortunately, now guitarist Johnny Franck has quit the band, too. And this being the internet age, Franck wasn’t content to just release a statement, the way most musicians do when they leave a successful band. Instead, he made a Real World-style confessional video in which he explains that “being out on tour really damages my relationship with God” and that he wants to “work on strengthening my relationship with Him.” Whenever I hear a musician say something like that, my mind always goes right to, “Translation: I was partying too much on the road, and my guilt is now manifesting itself as religious fervor,” but since I don’t actually know Attack Attack! or Franck, I admit that that could be total BS. (He also refers to Attack Attack! as “AA,” which I don’t think he should do; surely, I can’t be the only one who will forever associate “AA” with “Alcoholic’s Anonymous.”)

In any case, that’s not even the funniest part of this video. After declaring himself down with G-O-D and making sure that everyone knows that he still loves the dudes in Attack Attack!, that he wasn’t fired from the band, and that he will still be making music on his own*, Franck, for reasons I couldn’t even begin to speculate upon, ends the video with a nearly three-and-a-half minute home movie montage of him and the band frolicking while on tour in Australia… set to the music of John Mayer.

John Mayer? Really, guy? Are you leaving a shitty crabcore band, or did your girlfriend die right before prom? What the fuck is this? What the fuck does this have to do with anything? How the fuck does anyone take this fucking band seriously???

-AR

*I’ve never quite understood the whole “leaving a successful band for God but going to start another band” mentality. Does Franck plan for his new band to never tour? If so, how does he plan for them to achieve any measure of success? And if they are going to tour, then how can be sure that those tours won’t damage his relationship with God? And if he is sure that those tours won’t damage his relationship with God, then presumably it’s because he’s figured out the key to touring without offending God — in which case, why not just stay in the already-successful band of which he is currently a member? Is it as simple as “The other dudes in Attack Attack! won’t stop partying so I need to join a band with a ‘no party’ policy?” The whole thing is baffling to me.

Yesterday, October 19th, 2009 – a date which will live in infamy – Nick Barham, Rosie O’Donnell look-alike and lead vocalist for Attack Attack!, suddenly and deliberately quit the band. And only mere days before the group was scheduled to begin a tour with another one of the 21st century’s most groundbreaking musical acts, I Set My Friends On Fire.

There is terrible news, to be sure; indeed, I am having a hard time typing this through my tears. It feels like the days Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Stanley Kubrick, Norman Mailer, and Jesus Christ died, all rolled into one. It is a true, true tragedy.

When reached for comment, Barham said, “Like, what do you mean?”

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