• Axl Rosenberg

WARNING! This article contains possible spoilers regarding the outcome of the show Rock of Love. If you actually give a flying fuck about being surprised, read no further.

erin.jpgI haven’t done my usual update on this week’s installment of Rock of Love, and the reason is pretty simple: by and large, I think this episode was pretty boring. Don’t get me wrong – there were some real zingers, like the way Jes tackled that bitch Lacey, the sight of Bret’s beer gut when he was in his too-tight football jersey, or the way Brandi M. told Bret that Heather “was on The Surreal Life trying to bang Vanilla Ice, and I believe she was successful.” But it seemed like there was a lot of talking, and frankly, I’d rather watch these twats get drunk and try to beat the shit out of one another.

Still, what I did find interesting this week was how Jes won the show’s first one-on-one date with Bret. Things went so well that it suddenly occurred to me that Jes is going to win the show, because, well, really, she’s the only one left who could: Erin “Clown Tits” (right) got booted this week, Heather and Lacey are both “villains” in the program’s story line so they can’t win, Mia is a bore, Magdalena is a dude, the teasers for next week’s episode give away that Sam is going to willfully leave, and Brandi M. has done work for a website called Deface her Face, so really, Jes is the only one left.

Only then I visited the website Buddy TV – and suddenly realized I was dead wrong.

See, Buddy TV has ongoing updates on the show, including individual profiles of each contestant. These profiles can be accessed by finding the girl’s thumbnail pic on the left hand side of the page – and every week, after a contestant is eliminated, her picture is “crossed out.”

Well, I don’t know why it took me so long to notice, but the girls are being crossed in the exact order they already appear in on the left, from bottom to top. In other words: the first girl eliminated was Meredith, and her photo just happens to be the first photo of all the thumbnails. Erin was the most recently eliminated, her photo is right in between that of Rodeo – who got kicked off last week – and that of Sam – who, as I said before, we already know leaves after next week.

So, put in simplest terms: the girl whose photo is at the very top is clearly going to be winner of the show. And that girl is…


BRANDI M.?!?! I’m kinda surprised, but not disappointed. I don’t care if she does do porn – she’s probably the most chill chick on the show.

Anyway, take that for what it’s worth. But it would seem a logical conclusion that Brandi M. is going to take home the crown.


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