FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK SATAN ALMIGHTY, I AM FREE AT LAST!
Top ten things for Varg Vikernes to do once he’s been released from prison after sixteen years:
- Make love to wife without supervision of prison guards.
- Take eighteen month old son on first church burning.
- Visit Euronymous’ grave. Piss on it.
- “Work on farm,” kill all animals and crops.
- Audition to be new lead singer for Velvet Revolver.
- Cash in on reunion mania, re-join Mayhem.
- Deep and meaningful Decibel cover story.
- Deep and meaningful Revolver story that will end up on page 26 because AFI had a new album coming out that month.
- Catch up on missed episodes of VH1’s I Love the 90s, wonder why he wasn’t included.
- Pitch life story as a Hollywood movie: The Tromsø Redemption.