THIRTY-SOMETHING MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
From the “Holy shit, fo’ real?” department comes /Film’s reminder that the original live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was released TWENTY YEARS AGO today. I’m fairly certain Vince and I (and some other friends) saw this together at an old RKO movie theater that is now an Equinox Gym. That makes me feel old, the same way I feel old when I hear “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on a classic rock station.
So in real life, the Ninja Turtles would now be struggling with kids, divorce, and the disappointment of knowing that defeating Shredder was the apex of their lives; luckily, they’re only make-believe, so they can go on being pizza-loving adolescents forever and ever and ever.
And so, to celebrate the fact that I keep getting old while these Ninja Turtles just stay the same age, here, yet again, is the Teenage Mutant Hardcore Turtles video, which, for me at least, never really gets old: