MDF MEMORIES: MATT FROM RUMPELSTILTSKIN GRINDER
We’re just a few weeks away from Maryland Deathfest 2010, which will take place from May 28-30 in (duh) Baltimore, Maryland. This year’s edition of the annual fest promises to be the best one yet, with a line-up that includes Gorguts, Autopsy, Obituary, Entombed, Sodom, Repulsion, D.R.I., and a ton of other kick-ass bands. In anticipation of the event, we thought it would be fun to get some recollections of past MDFs from artists who were there. So we’re teaming up with Relapse Records to do just that! The inaugural edition, by Matt from Rumpelstiltskin Grinder, is below; in the coming weeks, we’ll also present entries by members of Brutal Truth, Disfear, and more. Enjoy…
I forget what year it was exactly… but it was the time Municipal Waste played… Eli (Relapse Sales Manager, XXX Maniak) and I (Rumpelstiltskin Grinder, Absu, Woe, XXX Maniak, Creeping Vine Productions) drove down to MDF in one of our shitty cars… we were hoping to get there in time to see Municipal Waste. We get to the parking lot, and the only spot there is too small because some jerk-off parked between two spots. We yell at two nearby dudes to come help us and the four of us lift up this loser’s car and move it out of the way so we can park. High fives and last car-beers finished…
We scam our way inside somehow and Municipal just started… we each grab two beers from the bar and get involved in the circle pit. I forget much of the rest of the day but here are some recollections:
- If you play in a grind band and are walking around the parking lot of MDF… people will find you to get you high and give you swigs of whiskey.
- At one point me and Ryan (Rumpelstiltskin Grinder) were hanging out with the Total Fucking Destruction guys and smoking up… we both fell asleep on the grass for like 45 minutes.
- That night us RSG guys crashed in the Relapse hotel room… Somehow Eli, myself and Mike (of Monstrosity, Vile, Abraxas, visualdarkness.com, etc.) ended up walking the halls of the hotel looking for some party or something. We ran into some dudes/chicks from Havertown so we started going around to different floors while drinking and smoking while literally smashing stuff in the hallways, such as phones/tables/room service trays, etc. We found a laundry chute on one of the higher floors and sent an entire ironing board crashing down it. We discovered a floor that had unoccupied rooms that somehow weren’t locked… of course we went in and started smashing as much glass as possible.
- I don’t remember how it happened, but for most of the night Eli was wearing a toga. As our group of about 12-15 people went from floor to floor on our rampage, wondering how no security had come after us yet, I remember the elevator door opening on one of the higher floors and Eli just started pissing from inside the elevator into the hallway…I think one of the Butcher ABC guys walked by as this was happening.
- That dude Petey was having a small get together in his room so Mike, Eli, and I had to slip away from our mob for a bit. We spent about twenty minutes in there smoking weed with Malignancy and some chicks… pretty low key, but babes are always a plus… started to get a bit restless however…
- We went down to the lobby to find more action, and Mike recognized one of the dudes from Pungent Stench (the bassist… he said his name was Gore) who were playing the next day… Mike didn’t know the guy or anything, but just ran up to the dude and started going off on how we were partying. Apparently they did a few US tour dates in the past days that sucked ass. His vocalist was getting on to an elevator to go to their room and said, “GORE are you coming? Our room is up here.” Gore was like, “No, these guys say they are partying.” At the time he didn’t realize that there was no actual room to party in… rather, it was the entire hotel. After talking about Europe and shit, Gore told us he loved whiskey… so I burst back into the Relapse room for one second to grab this cheap bottle that was in there and we continued our pillaging from floor to floor… kicking locked room doors, throwing vases across hallways, etc… being total assholes.
Much of the rest of the night is a blur, but I know it ended at like 5 AM with Me, Mike, a dude from the band Splatterhouse, and some chick partying in a back alley in Baltimore… don’t know what happened to Eli…
Most of the crew left mid-day and we had no resources… but Eli, Mike, and I stubbornly refused to go home. I remember Pungent Stench ruling, and I think Eli bought a knife while we were picking up beer on that strip club street. I also think Mike got kicked out of the fest at the end for being too brutal.
Us three decided to go back to the hotel (at which we had no room) and see what trouble we could find.
As soon as we walked into the lobby, our familiar mob greeted us with that violent look in their eyes… it had grown since the night before. A constant barrage of ideas for marauding started flowing immediately.
We ended up finding a fitness room with exercise bikes… by this point we had grown to about twenty people as we absorbed mercenaries and lost souls every step of the way. There was a locked door that led to an outdoor pool connected here… some random person with us had a room key card which worked to open the pool door… JACKPOT!
The pool was surrounded on a few sides by the actual rooms of the building. Everyone started jumping into the pool… People in their rooms started to hear the commotion and we started shouting back and forth to the upper floors, “Throw down BEER!”, which led to an endless barrage of cans of PBR and Natty Bo being launched into the pool from up above… Fuck yes! Some Yeungling bottles, too. People started coming down from their rooms into the pool and the scene got out of hand.
FINALLY a security guard came into the area to politely ask us to leave. I was like, “We’re paying customers maaaan…” (we weren’t), but we didn’t give him too much of a hard time because he didn’t bother us about the many blunts/joints/bowls/bongs going around.
Mike, Eli, and I decided there wasn’t much else to do and people were soaking wet from the pool so we found the floor of unoccupied rooms that were unlocked from the night before… went in and put up the do not disturb sign… woke up at 5:45 AM (about an hour and a half of sleep) and left unscathed.
-Matt, Rumpelstiltskin Grinder