Green Eggs and Slam


  • Sergeant D

As a man in my early 30s, it’s a little weird for me to go to metalcore/mosh4christ shows by myself, because I’m literally twice as old as most of the other people there. On the bright side, that means there’s never a line at the bar, but it also means that I’m stuck at the bar (aka “retirement home”) with my show buddy Shawn, laughing at teenagers while we try to forget that we have one foot in the grave.


One of the bands we’ve seen a couple times in the past few months is The Color Morale, a mosh4christ band on Rise Records. I think they opened for Attack Attack! once, and really impressed Shawn and me with their impressive use of bass drops live. I guess I was too drunk/annoyed/amused to pay attention, but for some reason I thought they were br00tal moshcore along the lines of Demolisher or something — this sounds like some kids who listened to too much Circa Survive/Anthony Green (no diss, we are bros for life) and decided to get all prog.

It’s actually pretty tight, it’s just not what I was expecting, you know? I was all set to mosh up our living room in the name of Christ (expensive furniture be damned), but I dunno, this isn’t really moshworthy to me — seems more like something you would listen to when you’re “trying to figure out who you really are” or whatever, like maybe you’re trying to work up the courage to tell your parents that you don’t really want to call yourself a “Christian” anymore, but you’re afraid they’ll kick you out of the house/stop paying for your college if you do, so you keep pretending to believe in God even though you really just want to get high and jam some late-period Slayer???

What do you think of The Color Morale? Do they mosh 4 christ, or are they just stoked to be on a label like Rise Records who knows how to make a metalcore record popular? Does “God Hates Us All” have the best breakdowns in the Slayer catalog? Should these posers just start a Forever The Sickest Kids-style powerpop band and call it a day?????

-Sergeant D.

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