Green Eggs and Slam


  • Sergeant D

It has been my life’s work to find the heaviest band on the face of the planet, and I believe that I may have found my holy grail: a young metalcore band called DEMOLISHER. Purists will be outraged I’m sure, but if the intro riff to “Decimated” doesn’t make you mosh the instant that you press “play,” you have no soul. Not since I first heard Suffocation, Devourment, and Cephalotripsy have I been so floored by a band — it’s almost comical how fucking heavy this band is, like the groove of 16 meets the absurdly downtuned-breakdowns of Hemdale with a heavy dose of 90’s beatdown hardcore ala Bulldoze or Merauder. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever heard anything this crushingly sludgy and over the top.


“Next time I see you, you’re gonna get fucked up!”

I miss the days of mosh-inducing instrumentals like this one, called “Destroy”

They tune so fucking low and the levels are so compressed that every palm-muted note in the breakdowns sounds like a bass drop, and the vocalist sounds like he’d rather be smashing someone in the face with a two-by-four. The best part is that they are still in their teens, so the sky is the limit — I think their guitarist just graduated from high school this June. Stay tuned for an upcoming full length, and check them out on Myspace for tour dates. Someone needs to sign these kids to a real label!!!

-Sergeant D.

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