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ELOTE 5: “THERE’S GONNA BE CORN IN YOUR SH*T FOR A MONTH”

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ELOTE 5: “THERE’S GONNA BE CORN IN YOUR SH*T FOR A MONTH”

Every now and then you hear or see a band that is truly pushing the envelope; a band that is doing things you’d never envision in your wildest dreams or most haunting nightmares. What’s worse is that these bands are not only few and far between; they’re often completely enigmatic and not at all prolific.

Such is the case with Elote 5, a Mexican (we think) grind band that we caught, totally by accident, this past Saturday night in Brooklyn.

Here’s what happened: myself, Vince, Kip, Rob and Noa from Metal Injection, and some other friends all wandered over to this loft party that a friend of Rob’s was hosting. All of the bands were local and, to be honest, most were unmemorable. (I won’t write their names here; their lives will be difficult enough without taking shit from us.)

But then this one band in Mexican Dia de los Muertos masks masks took the “stage” (really just a part of the room designated for the bands to play)… and HOLY SHIT. They played some of the most amazing grind — nay, some of the most amazing metal, period — that I’ve ever heard in my life. It was completely outside-the-box; no joke, it made Portal sound “normal.”

It was borderline impossible to understand the lyrics, although what we could make out was entirely in Spanish; the vocalist’s brief bits of stage banter were also in Spanish, although a bilingual member of our group tells me that he referred to himself as “El Camarero,” which apparently translates to “The Waiter.” (I’m told that most of his other stage banter was “typical stage talk” — e.g., “Thanks for coming out,” etc.)

He only stopped to say one single phrase in English, right before the final song. He said it in context of nothing, which is to say, he grabbed the mic, uttered this phrase, and then the song started:

“There’s gonna be corn in your shit for a month.”

At which point said bilingual pal explained to me that “elote” is a Mexican corn dish (see pic above).

Huh???

This is almost as baffling as the fact that, despite what their name would suggest, they were a trio. So why the fucking fuck are they “Corn 5?!?!?”

ANYWAY, the band departed the performance area as quickly as they’d appeared; Rob and I tried to chase them down to tell them how amazing they were and to see what our respective sites could do to help get their name out, but they were nowhere to be found. When we found the organizer of the show, he told us that he honestly didn’t know who the fuck they were; another band that was supposed to play there that night had cancelled at the last minute, and then this band just showed up and took their spot.

“Did you see their faces?” I asked the organizer.

“No,” he replied.

“Do you have a phone number or e-mail address for them?”

“No.”

“How did they get here? They must have known somebody!”

At this point he shrugged, and I realized he was beyond drunk, and really didn’t care. Rob and I could have gotten up there and sang a capella versions of Maroon 5 songs all night, and this dude wouldn’t have given two shits. Elote 5 were even playing with equipment borrowed from the other bands present, so there was no clean-up. We literally could not find them.

And we still can’t. A Google search of “Elote 5” turns up nothing of interest. Like Yog Sogolgoth — another band whose music I stumbled upon once and have never heard from again — their internet presence seems to be mysteriously (perhaps miraculously?) nil.

I would kill somebody to be able to watch this band again; if they have an album, I would probably kill multiple people to get a copy. Their music was just SO FUCKING GOOD… there are no words to describe it.

If you have any info on this incredible group — or, better still, if you’re a member of the band — please e-mail us ASAP.

-AR

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