Remember all the way back on Monday (put down that bong!) when we reported that Darkest Hour and Veil of Maya had been kicked off their shared tour bus just before the Dallas stop of their Legacy Tour with Periphery and Revocation? We caught up with DH drummer Ryan Parrish yesterday and he gave us the full scoop on what went down to result in his band’s eviction from their home on wheels:

Well, okay, here’s the thing: the bus driver is a total douchebag — like, just a cocksucker.  He was OCD as shit.  He was always coming on the bus and we’d be partying and shit and he just didn’t like it.  He didn’t think that we cleaned up, which we cleaned every single day, but he was such a dick that he would say that we weren’t cleaning everything just to start drama and shit.  If there were like 2 beer cans on the table, he’d take a picture of it and send it to his company saying that we were destroying the bus lounge.

He was just a complete fucking piece of shit.  What ended up happening is that we call people like that “Herberts“.  So we called him Herbert the whole time.  The thing about it is that there are levels of being a Herbert.  If you’re a normal Herbert, you’re a cocksucker.  You’re kind of a shitty person.  If you go to the next level, which is a Herbazoid, you’re a serious cocksucker – like, beyond a normal cocksucker. We had to think of a new name for this guy because he was over that.  So we started to call him Adolph Herbert.

Little Adolph Herbert, man, just a piece of garbage.  He was very unprofessional.  He would come back to the bus and see people [hanging out] and just be pissed off.  It was like “what the fuck?  We’re paying for the bus.  What the fuck’s your problem?”  He was just a douchebag.

What ended up happening is he drove us into Dallas overnight like normal.  Before we got into Dallas, he called the cops.  When we got to the club at 8 o’clock in the morning, the cops were there to meet the bus.  We were all asleep.  Once he knew the cops were there, he came down and woke up the tour manager and told us we had to get off the bus.  So 8 o’clock in the morning we had to dump all our shit in the parking lot and he left us there.

So essentially he waited to get paid and once he got paid he fucking dropped us off.  It’s not like we’re fucking . . . if he got on the bus and the tables were overturned and the TVs were fucking destroyed and we were pissing on the floor, he had a right to kick us off.  I would honestly tell you that we were destroying the bus.  The reality is he just didn’t think we kept it clean.  We fucking cleaned it all the fucking time.  One night we had some guests on and I think a girl put some TP in the toilet and that’s a no-no.

That was the last straw when he decided it was over.  Then he tried to say that we shit in a bag and tried to shove it down the toilet which is not true.  When he emptied out the toilet, which we saw, there was no fucking bag and there was no shit.  He was just full of shit.

I’ll tell you another thing too: we have Herbert, Herbazoid, Adolph Herbert (that’s a new one) and we also have if an entire band is a Herbert, that’s called a Herbatron.  When they play, they form.  They assemble.

On getting a new bus:

Honestly, I think that’s the best thing that could have happened.  We got a new bus and a new driver and everybody is way stoked.  This new guy is way chill.  For like a week there it was just fucking shitty.  The shows and the bands have been having a good time.  It’s been a lot of fun.

If you live in or near Wilmington, Philadelphia, Baltimore or Richmond there’s still time to catch the Legacy Tour in your town! Don’t be a Herbert. Info here.


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