Hipsters Out Of Metal!




Sure, it’s been a shitty week for Kvelertak and their stateside fans: We reported Saturday that the Norwegian scream-rockers got separated from vital travel documents right before departure for their first-ever US tour dates (including the MetalSucks co-presented SXSW super-jam). That bums me out cuz duh those fuckerz jam (which is good for concertgoers), but moreso because I was pumped for the band’s imminent chance to, like, collect on their roaring buzz here (which is good for them). Okay sorry about that mixed metaphor. But the point is that if I were a member of Kvelertak (please can I be a member of Kvelertak?), I’d want to further enable American rockers to pony up some cash for the record that about a billion of us have possessed/loved for months ahead of its proper US release. All is not lost cuz a bonus track-laden US version of Kvelertak still drops Tuesday, but I can’t help but lament the fact that a string of ballsack-singeing live sets would’ve cranked open a lot more wallets a lot wider. And deservedly so.

Still, I smile for Kvelertak cuz the same day that U.S. tour plans got derailed, it was announced at Norway’s major music awards ceremony that the young band won twice (!), for best newcomer and best rock band. Damn! And though you’ll read that the Spellemann award is Norway’s equivalent of the Grammy, I instruct you to disregard that comparison: The Spellemann is not as random and lazy as the Grammy. Nothing is. I mean, shit, the last winners for the metal Grammy were Maiden, Judass Priest, Metallica (ha!), Slayer, Slayer again, Slipknot, Motorhead (for a Metallica cover!), Metallica again (for “St. Anger”!), and Korn. Not exactly cutting-edge shit. Conversely, the Spellemann metal category this year included fucking Ihsahn, Shining, and Enslaved (winner!), the Grammy equivalent of which would’ve been 2011 noms for, let’s say, Nachtmystium, Intronaut, and Devin Townsend. Or like Cloudkicker, Agalloch, and Atheist. Yeah right!


Pre-order your fancy Kvelertak shirt/CD bundle here and wish them godspeed with those replacement documents!

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