Green Eggs and Slam


  • Sergeant D

Is it just me, or is the GUTTURAL SLAMMING BRUTALITY scene not what it used to be?? IDK, just seems like it gets harder every day to get my slam on… was it just a trend, just a fad? Just another meaningless bandwagon?? Maybe to some it was just a phase, but to me slam isn’t something you do, it’s who you are. To borrow a phrase from Forever The Sickest Kids, IDKAYBICTS [I Don’t Know About You But I Came To Slam]. When I listen to new slam bands, I feel like they are just going though the motions. Where’s the SOUL??

That’s why I am so into my new favorite slam band, EPICARDIECTOMY (straight out of Czech Republic).

Like most Euros, they are doing their very best to imitate what they seem to think “cool American bands” are doing, and I mean yeah it’s pretty lulzy how they get it completely wrong, but you know what? They are PASSIONATE and to me that more than makes up for any of the parts where they are doing it wrong.


  • Singer’s baby blue “69” football jersey
  • Guitarist’s mesh shorts and drop-tuned 7-string guitar (no bassist)
  • Broken-English stage banter: “cercool pit, show me show mee,” “let me see sum hammers,” etc
  • All 18 ppl in the crowd doing the macarena halfway through the set

THIS is how you slam, my friends. Any questions?!

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. shows you how slam every day at Stuff You Will Hate.

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