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THE DEVIL’S BLOOD STRANDED, ROBBED, F*CKING PISSED

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The Devil’s Blood are third on the awesome Decibel Magazine tour bill, and it’s my dream that their next trek will be atop a huge stadium tour. Sure, that would require a massive and improbable surge in popularity for their Heart-on-acid-and-fronted-by-Lucifer masterpiece, The Thousandfold Epicentre, but hey I dream big. It would be so awesome: the fury of 50,000 fans, massive banks of speakers, pyro/lasers, horny chicks everywhere, police escorts, news choppers, blood canons, special dedications to me before the final song, drugz, abs, madness!

Most importantly, it’d also mean that The Devil’s Blood would have a crack tour staff, including drivers who don’t bail mid-tour in Texas. Cuz that’s what their driver just did Sunday night. From a band statement:

This piece of shit who was supposed to have been our driver on the US tour ran off with our money after the San Antonio Ritual [Sunday] night. After being told what to do for the thousandth time and still having no clue how to [drive] a bus, this “Ape”, as he calls himself … ran off into downtown San Antonio and left us stranded in an intersection, [thereby] forcing our Tour Manager to take the wheel. This little rat scurried off so fast that attempts to find, catch, and kill it were immediately unsuccessful.

We put this info out now so that each and every one of our contacts, friends, fans and even enemies might learn his name, spread it around, and make sure that this sorry excuse for a man never again does business with anyone.

As for you, David, you little cunt: Rest assured that one day we will meet again. A curse upon your house until the day comes that my blade is on your throat.

The statement concludes with the ex-driver’s complete contact info and some personal info that it’s probably not legally okay to disseminate — especially following a thinly-veiled and public death threat. As a mega-fan, I’m raging hard but cooler heads might agree this David’s crime is more of a face-punchable offense, not a blade-upon-the-throat situation. But now we’re splitting hairs. Nobody hire this assdouche.

-ADF

Catch The Devil’s Blood and their new non-fuckknob driver on the Decibel Magazine Tour with Behemoth, Watain, and In Solitude. Info here.

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