Readers' Choice

READER’S CHOICE ROUND-UP: I ACTUALLY LOOKED AT OUR FACEBOOK PAGE EDITION

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A lot of people leave us messages on the MetalSucks Facebook page, but the joke is on them, because I, for one, pretty much never look at those messages. But today I did look at some of those messages, because… I really don’t know why, I just kinda did.

ANYWAY, here are some bands that MetalSucks readers recently recommended to us via Facebook:

CALAMITY ISLET

My first thought when I saw this band’s name was, “Wow, these dudes have really poor self-esteem.” They won’t even name themselves after a normal-sized island! They’re just an islet!

Then I listened to them and I was like, “Oh.” Some bands are right not to have any self-esteem. This would have been boring in 2005, when every band sounded like this. Now it’s boring and dated. I might even recommend a downgrade to “Calamity Backyard” or something.

PORTRAIT OF GRAY

This is the band Calamity Welcome Mat would have opened for in 2005. They’re, like, way better at ripping off At the Gates, and even had the good sense to forego clean vocals. That doesn’t make them good, mind you, it just makes them good by comparison. I mean it’s better to stub your toe than it is to break your foot, but that doesn’t mean you go around bare foot kicking bricks all the time, y’know?

RAT BABIES

I fell asleep in my chair around the 1:20 mark and was awoken by a horrible sounding dead-cat-stuck-in-the-wall of a guitar solo about two minutes later. Then I turned the video off and moved on with my life.

THEY WILL REPENT

I’ll repent and do community service and whatever else the fuck you want me to do if I have never have to listen to this crap again.

FACING THE ALPINE

I was exactly twelve seconds into this when I turned it off. I’ll face the Alpine, but I’m not gonna fucking listen to it.

The message below that was someone telling us what Dave Mustaine said about the Aurora shootings a few weeks ago, and then I stopped reading because seriously?

In conclusion, I now remember why I’ve done so few Readers’ Choices this year.

-AR

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