Green Eggs and Slam

OMG CALIFORNIA METALFEST = BEST LINEUP OF ALL TIMES???

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I don’t usually get into those multi-day metalfest events because lettuce be cereal the lineups are usually just a bunch of washed up bands from the 90s that make me want to shove one of the guy from BTBAM’s dainty little 7A drumsticks in my eardrums just to make the bad sounds stop. But California Metalfest = NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL A FUCKING LINEUP!! Aside from that crappy hipster/rock band DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN literally every single band on this bill is S-Rank/A+++/5 stars/WDBWA.

And there’s something for everyone: if you are all tired and sweaty from moshing your balls off to WINDS OF PLAGUE, UPON A BURNING BODY and FOR TODAY then take a break and look at girls’ butts while they watch CHIODOS, CONFIDE and BLESSTHEFALL — and it’s in San Bernardino so you are guaranteed to see enough 10/10 Mexi jailbait in skinny jeans and PIERCE THE VEIL shirts to sink a battleship.

CLICK HEAR 2 BUY TICKETS

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. sinks battleships every day at Stuff You Will Hate.

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