Tour Guides from Hell

Tour Guides from Hell: Czar’s Jason Novak on His Top Ten Tour Downtime Spots

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Welcome to MetalSucks’ new series, “Tour Guides from Hell,” in which musicians from across the metalsphere tell us about some of their places to hit up while they’re out on tour! Our inaugural edition was penned by Czar guitarist/vocalist Jason Novak. Czar will play a series of shows with KMFDM starting in March, before they hit the road as direct support to Killing Joke starting in April. Get dates at the bottom of this post!

And now, we turn it over to Jason Novak… Mr. Novak, take it away!

1. Barcade (Brooklyn, NY)

East coast best of the classic arcade bars, always solid IPAs on tap and killer classics like Robotron and Qbert. After your fingers are numb you will be ready to walk a few blocks to Duffs and quench your metal thirst.

2. Brewvies (Salt Lake City, UT)

Long cross country drives can put you in a town like this at a weird hour, and this open-all day bar and movie house will take care of everyone, especially the dude who just drove the final 5 hours from Denver and needs a delicious Uinta and one of the questionable couches in the back of the theater.

3. Emporium (Chicago, IL)

More classic games to be had in Wicker Park and another terrific beer list. A rare appearance by classics such as Popeye, Asteroids and Tron… No food but you can probably bring in your Harolds Chicken Shack from across the street.

4. The Jackelope (Austin, TX)

Kind of stupid to even mention a bar on 6th in Austin, but everyone has their favorites and this one rules. just the kind of bar you want to be in, weird paraphenelia and collectable shit everywhere, a blind eye to the occasional smoker and close enough to everything… like all the other great bars in Austin. Daytime beers taste especially cold here, friends.

5. Pike Place Market (Seattle, WA)

This could be a no brainer, but every unexpected day off in Seattle deserves a wander through this seaside mecca. Mongers throwing giant fish, amazing snacks and ethnic food galore, if you are lucky to find the dude selling “Hum Bow” you will taste the most amazing Korean-style buns of your life. Don’t forget Lamplight Books, an actual bookstore with actual books.

6. Au Pied Du Cochon (Montreal, QC)

Do you know what the fuck that stands for? I will tell you: the feet of the pig. And yes, this place is known for their foie gras fries and foie gras everything, but that also included foie gras stuffed pigs feet… holy shit, and duck fat fries? Put that shit in you. You might drop a few PD bucks here, but gas station sandwiches for the next couple days will be worth it. Don’t come alone, you need a few heads to share.

7. Aquarius Records (San Francisco, CA)

Leave your PD behind or you will spend it, promise. Instead just browse and listen to all the top shelf hard to find underground metal you can. What else is there to do? Shit is too expensive in San Fran unless you are in the Mission District… oh wait, you pretty much are. Trust the staff favorites and find something weird to play in the van, especially if you got a tape deck.

8. Frenchman Street (New Orleans, LA)

If you ever find yourself all excited to be in New Orleans, you ate some gumbo or some po boy and now you want to hear some of this music everyone seems to dig… but can’t seem to find anything but fat white dudes playing? Head over to Frenchman Street and walk in and out of some of the bars there for some quality times, cold beers and good music. This is where the local musos go (or so they tell us). Stay the fuck away from Bourbon street man, please. You will die a little bit inside.

9. Ground Kontrol (Portland, OR)

Heaven. Maybe you have already gotten a maple bacon donut in you and want to go to classic arcade heaven? I mean, look at all these arcades on here, it’s for a reason… these classic games? You can own em just like back in the day for a quarter a pull. This place is mecca though, their games are phenomenal, but more important is the huge stock of pinball machines. Food and beer, yeah sure, but this is a good way to kill some quality time. Fuck Playstation and all that RPG shit. This is better.

10. Venice Beach (Los Angeles, CA)

Don’t know why, but I always end up with a day off in LA. Cheap and fun, this is a great destination. The freak factor alone is worth it. Try to drive as far away from rush hour as you can, but it’s important man, take Pacific, see the ocean… get in the ocean. Penny Lane Used CDs still there? Man I hope so. Get a taco. You’re on tour and you’re in LA, life is good. After you leave here you will go to Barneys Beanery by Sunset and have a couple beers and play foosball for an hour. LA can be a little douchy, but this place is definitely not. Was that 11?

UPCOMING CZAR TOUR DATES

March 23 – Chicago, IL @ House of Blues w/ KMFDM
March 24 – Milwaukee, WI @ Shank Hall w/ KMFDM
March 25 – Minneapolis, MN @ First Avenue w/ KMFDM
April 18 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Smiling Moose
April 19 – New York, NY @ Irving Plaza w/ Killing Joke
April 20 – Boston, MA @ Paradise w/ Killing Joke
April 21 – Philadelphia, PA @ Union Transfer w/ Killing Joke
April 23 – Montreal, QC @ Cafe Campus w/ Killing Joke
April 24 – Toronto, ON @ Lees Palace w/ Killing Joke
April 26 – Chicago, IL @ Empty Bottle w/ Killing Joke
April 27 – Chicago, IL @ Empty Bottle w/ Killing Joke
April 28 – Denver, CO @ Summit Room
April 30 – Seattle, WA @ Neumos w/ Killing Joke
May 1 – Vancouver, BC @ Rickshaw w/ Killing Joke
May 2 – Portland, OR @ Tonic Lounge
May 3 – San Francisco, CA @ Fillmore w/ Killing Joke
May 4 – San Diego, CA @ Brick By Brick w/ Killing Joke
May 5 – Los Angeles, CA @ Henry Fonda Theater w/ Killing Joke

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