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Tony Iommi Collaborates with World’s Largest Unibrow on Horrible Maroon 5 Song

  • Axl Rosenberg

Iommi Unibrow

As I understand it, Eurovision is basically like Europe’s government-sponsored version of American Idol only with entire bands instead of just individual nitwits. My only experience with any music that has done well in this annual competition is Lordi and now “Lonely Planet,” a song Tony Iommi wrote for an Armenian band called Dorians. But based on these two experiences, I’m ready to say that Eurovision should be shut down.

I think what really confuses me about this — besides the fact that the vocalist apparently rents space on his forehead to two giant caterpillars that like to hold hands, I mean — is that it was written by Iommi and not, say, James Hetfield or Trey Azagthoth or someone else whose finger is nowhere near the pulse of cool anymore. Based on his work with Heaven & Hell, there’s evidence to suggest that the guy can still write a good song, and metal or not, this is not a good song. At all. What happened? It’s like Dio died and Iommi collaborated with Ozzy for a year and went full retard.

[via The PRP]

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