Laugh At Others' Misfortunes

Hair Metal + Idiot Magician Criss Angel = Comedy Gold

  • Axl Rosenberg

Did you know that Mindfreak magician Criss Angel, adored by millions of fans around New Jersey for his inability to properly spell the name “Chris” in a manner anyone with a first-grade education would recognize, once fronted a hair metal band? It’s true! It actually makes perfect sense when you consider that this is a genre FULL of dudes who insist on replacing or altogether eliminating at least one letter from every name (see: Nikki, Rikki, Jani, Tracii, Scotti, Keri… I guess we should be grateful he didn’t go with “Crissi”).

What makes less sense: why Angel (and whomever was handling/backing him at the time) thought it would be a good idea to incorporate magic into his music. I know that a gimmick can really help distinguish an artist from competitors in a crowded field, but I can’t remember ever watching a Cinderella video when I was a kid and thinking, “Gee, this is a catchy song and everything, but what would really make it rock is if Tom Kiefer turned a balloon into a dove.” And even if, for some reason, that thought had crossed my (or anyone else’s) mind, I don’t think it would have been followed by the thought “And the best way to demonstrate this magic would be to put a disclaimer at the start of the video insisting that no trick photography has been utilized, and then cutting from a close-up to a wide shot mid-illusion so as to suggest that the trick trick photography has been utilized.”

How to do a Criss Angel Trick

Watch the entire video below. Major props to the magnificent bastards over at Metal Injection for digging this up.

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