Everyone's Replaceable

Six Drummers We’d Be Happy to See Join Hate Eternal

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New Hate Eternal DrummerHate Eternal has parted ways with drummer Jade Simonetto. Simonetto has opted to continue his musical education, and there are no hard feelings between the two parties. The band will now continue to write their new album, which is scheduled to begin recording in the spring of next year.

Simonetto is an absolute beast behind and it’s a shame to lose him. That being said, Simonetto is just one of many incredible drummers to record and/or perform live with Hate Eternal over the years, including Derek Roddy, Kevin Talley, and Tim Yeung. And they already have Adam Jarvis from Misery Index and Pig Destroyer lined-up to fill for their upcoming performance at The Housecore Horror Music & Film Festival this weekend. So it seems fair to assume that Hate Eternal will be able to find an able replacement for Simonetto, and thus continue to hate eternally.

So, in the grand tradition of goofing off on Monday morning when we should be working, I thought I’d offer some suggestions as to possible replaces for Simonetto. Please note that this is just me farting around and I have no inside knowledge as to who will be the new Hate Eternal drummer. Nor do I mean to offend any possible Hate Eternal drummer candidate that I fail to mention. These are just some dudes I spitballed off the top of my head.

Okay? Ready? Here we go:

#1 – ADAM JARVIS8109384739_4c5ca213ed_b

ANALYSIS: Well duh, of course I was gonna suggest him first, he’s already playing with the band mere days from now. Also, he’s an amazing drummer. Still, I can’t see him joining HE full-time, if only because he already has a full plate with Misery Index, PxDx, and Fulgora, but a fella can dream, can’t he?

#2 – KEVIN TALLEY

ANALYSIS: Again, dude probably already has enough going on, seeing as he’s now a full-fledged member of Battlecross. But he toured with Hate Eternal in 2006, and he’s one of the best death metal drummers on the planet. Would any Hate Eternal fan NOT jump for joy if he took the gig?

#3 – TIM YEUNGTim Yeung

ANALYSIS: Appeared on Hate Eternal’s 1999 debut, Conquering the Throne; since then, he’s played with Dino Cazares’ band that isn’t Fear Factory, the version of Morbid Angel that made Illud Divinum Insanus, and Death Division. In other words, somebody needs to save this dude, and STAT.

#4 – PETE SANDOVALPete_Sandoval_Terrorizer_878952

ANALAYSIS: When Hate Eternal mastermind Erik Rutan left Morbid Angel, he pretty much took all the band’s mojo with him. If he now also took the drummer that didn’t record on Illud Divinum Insanus, well, that would be very funny.

#5 – SHANNON LUCAS

Shannon Lucas Not On Tour

ANALYSIS: Motherfucker can play. And although he’s been involved with at least two other projects since leaving The Black Dahlia Murder last year —  one with Cannibal Corpse’s George ”Corpsegrinder” Fisher and Killswitch Engage’s Adam Dutkiewicz and one with Napalm Death’s Shane Embury and BDM’s Trevor Strnad — to date neither of them have, like, y’know, released an album or toured or anything. Sooo…

And, of course…

#6 – SCOTT HULLHULL STUDIO 1

ANALYSIS: Because any band not considering Scott Hull is just being foolish, goddamnit.

In a fantasy world where you control everything, who would you make the new drummer of Hate Eternal? Weigh in with your wishes in the comments section below!

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