Necessary Roughness, Week 12: The Panthers are Brockie’s “Dark Cat” Pick to Win the Super Bowl
I am back from my bye week, which I spent in sunny Havana crying because the ‘Skins suck so bad. I had spent the preceding Sunday in a D.C. sports bar across the street from the venerable 9:30 Club, where we were having a show that night. Oh, how nice it would have been to see the ‘Skins win that day and to march into the show that night (the last show of the tour!) in complete triumph… but it was not to be. So that humiliating loss to the Eagles last week, coupled with the fact that it was the final show of a seven-week tour, led to me immediately invoking an emergency bye-week even though I had done it once already this season. No worries! For this weekend I was back at home, sprawled on my couch, with a full slate of games of the schedule. And somehow I managed to be a day late anyway.
But in a way that is good… because I can tell you about the god-awful beatdown the ‘Niners put on the “Skins last night and feel a certain amount of vindication (however distasteful) because it seems that all the criticisms I have made of the franchise have rung true in a nauseating manner. Yes, the coaching staff sucks. They should have sat RGIII down that fateful day against the Seahawks last season, and because they didn’t his career is in jeopardy. As a result he is shadow of the player he was last year. They also suck because they have allowed the RGIII hype to influence their decisions, and RG III is obviously completely convinced of his own hype. And since when did we start calling people by their initials anyway? I mean really, who the does “RG III” think he is, getting a name all different than the ones we have to use. Can’t he be just “Rob?” Like Rob Zombie, or, as I like to call him, “Zob Rhombie?” Maybe I should call myself “DB I.” No, that would be stupid.
Monday night’s game was the ‘Skins last chance to save their season, and they failed miserably, getting crushed 27-6. RG III is a shell of the player he once was not only because they kept him on the field when he was obviously hurt in last year’s playoff game but also because they hurried his rehab (all in on Day One — I wonder how many millions were made off of that?). As I have said before the ‘Skins are a cursed team but they are my favorite team, and the curse won’t be lifted tip’ they change that awful name.
But on to games that matter, and I saw some great ones! Big match-ups filled Week Twelve as the race to the playoffs got hotter! Only a handful of teams seem capable of dominance, a whole bunch are somewhere in the middle, and a few totally suck. It’s gonna be a lot of fun, and I am NOT ON TOUR.
Not many people seem to be talking about the New Orleans Saints, who continue to slip under the radar while at the same time delivering punishing defeats to their foes at times. I guess not many would be talking after their lackluster defeat of the Atlanta Falcons, 17-13. But they remain my pick to win the NFC and take that trip to New York City to play in the Super Bowl and be entertained by Bruno Mars. Like N’awleens needed another excuse to party. Anyone who has ever been there knows what I mean. After a trip to N’awleens the concept of bars closing at 2am seems positively barbaric. Who dat? It’s the fucking Saints, and because N’awleens (I spell it that way because that is how you pronounce it) is my favorite town in the U.S.A., I will be rooting for them for the rest of the year despite Drew Brees’ awful hair. Maybe Jon Gruden could teach him a thing or two about the comb-over. Next week’s match-up against the Seahawks is gonna be HUGE! As for the Falcons, it’s their fifth straight loss and their first losing season in years.
The Seattle Seahawks are also kicking ass but I am not gonna talk about them because they had a bye-week.
On Sunday I started my day by watching the Carolina Panthers vs. Miami Dolphins game. I was impressed by Panther QB Cam Newton’s comeback win over the ‘Fins despite a number of spectacular throws by Dolphins QB Ryan Tannehill. It was close all the way and the ‘Fins had the Panthers on a 4th and ten which Cam converted (with some help from a receiver whose name I can’t remember), then led the team to the winning touchdown with :43 seconds left. The Panthers have won six straight and Cam Newton has truly come into his own. They are my dark horse pick (or should I say “dark cat”) to win the Super Bowl. Can I have a regular pick and a “dark cat” pick as well?
Then I got to see the end of the tie between the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota Vikings. It was a grueling struggle that nobody won, and it’s always a joy to watch Adrian Peterson, one of the few living and still playing-at-peak-form legends of the game… but I couldn’t help but think of Walter Payton as the Vikes just couldn’t get it done. But neither could the Pack. Don’t ties suck????
At first I thought the game of the day had to be the Kansas City Chiefs vs. the San Diego Chargers in a shoot-out that ended in a 41-38 victory and a career day for San Diego QB Philip Rivers. The Chargers, coming off a three-game losing streak, shocked the Chiefs with 17 unanswered fourth quarter points and a last-second victory. The previously unbeaten Chiefs have now lost two straight! Oh, fate is a fickle thing!
Just when I thought I had seen about as much awesome football as I could handle, I got into the Denver Broncos vs. the New England Patriots Sunday Night Game and the pre-game show hosted by my good buddy, Dan Patrick. Hi, Danettes, hi Seton! Yes, I am name-dropping. Isn’t it pathetic? And as much as I have tried to dislike the New England Patriots ever since they changed their helmet decal, how can you not respect their 34-31 OT victory over the Denver Broncos? The Pats came back from a 24-0 halftime deficit to ultimately triumph with a Stephen Gostkowski FG. And how can I hate a team with a dude named “Gronk” on it? Simply put, I can’t.
Yes, yes, lots of other games. Let’s hear about them. In the weekend’s biggest display of idiocy, the ‘Skins douchebag owner paraded out some “Navajo Code Talkers” in order to show the Native-American’s support for the ‘Skins racist name. Well, first of all “Navajo” is a word the settlers (or you could call them “invaders”, depending on what side you are on) gave a tribe called “The Dine’ “, and most “Navajos” really don’t like being called that. I know this because I have good friends in the tribe. On Gwar’s recent seven-week tour of the U.S. and Canada I made a point of engaging and discussing the issue of the team’s name with every Native I met, and a lot of Natives love Gwar. Without exception every single person hated the name, felt it was an insult, and thought it should be changed. So fuck their research and asinine sideline antics with no disrespect to the code-talkers of THE DINE’.
Opinions? Reports? Love? Hate? BRING IT.
