Hair Metal Happy Hour

Mark Slaughter’s Solo Album is Already the Best Hair Metal Album of Whatever Year it Comes Out

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Being Mark SlaughterI just read this on Classic Rock, and then I squealed like Jim Nitro:

“Mark Slaughter, vocalist for multi-platinum-selling band Slaughter, is working with producer Michael Wagener on his first solo album.

“Not content with simply laying down vocals for the as-yet-untitled album, Slaughter is playing all instruments, with the exception of drums, which will provided by Mark Goodin.”

First of all, I’d like to thank Classic Rock for specifying which Mark Slaughter we were talking about. The name “Mark Slaughter” is to metal as “Matthew Goldenberg” is to the Jews. There are so many, if they hadn’t mentioned multi-platinum-selling band Slaughter, they really could have been talking about anyone.

Second of all, for those of you who don’t know, Michael Wagener is pretty much the best producer in history for this style of music. His credits include the good Skid Row albums, that one Extreme album with all the hits on it, the last decent Warrant album, the last Ozzy album about which I will tacitly accept an argument that it’s good, and the Stryper albums people who actually like Stryper tell me are good.

(He also mixed Metallica’s Master of Puppets, which I find funny — everyone flipped out when they first hired Bob Rock because he was known as the producer for Bon Jovi and Mötley Crüe, but no one cared that the guy who mixed Master of Puppets mixed Poison’s Look What the Cat Dragged In the very same year.)

My point being that if anyone can help Mark Slaughter make an album that will truly make him stand out from the crowd of Mark Slaughters in metal today, it’s Michael Wagener.

Unfortunately, it’s not presently clear if the album will be released later in 2014 or sometime in 2015 or what. What is presently clear is that I will be the only person under the age of forty to purchase it.

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