Metal Merch

$70 Black Metal Doggie Vest Will Make Your Pet the Scariest Poser at the Park

  • Axl Rosenberg

I guess Garmutt, the line of pet products from The Dillinger Escape Plan’s Ben Weinman, didn’t do so hot: the brand’s website no longer exists. That’s too bad, because some of the products Weinman was selling were pretty great (I was especially fond of the Petallica/Master of Puppies hoodie).

So what was the fatal flaw in Weinman’s business plan? Maybe he should have been charging more for his doggie outwear. Like, say, seventy bucks. Sounds steep, I know, but hey: that’s the cost of the new Party Animalz Patchez Dog Vest. Claiming to be “crucial for any True Kult Dawg,” the vest features “an assortment of patches from your favorite canine black metal bands such as EmPAWror, Barkzum & Darkbone.”

Party Animalz Patchez Dog VestThe same company also makes the Party Animalz Ruff You Up Dog Vest, which is a mere $42 (marked down from $60).Party Animalz Ruff You Up Dog VestI don’t deny that this is an adorable idea, but the price seems pretty outrageous. I dunno why a pet owner who felt so strongly about making sure that everyone knows they love metal wouldn’t just buy a cheaper denim doggie vest and then sew their own patches onto it. Sure, you lose the cutesy puns, but you can custom pick the bands you want your dog to rep, and not have to explain to anyone that you dog doesn’t really support Varg Vikernes. Seems like a far better option to me.

Thanks: R.S.

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