Friday 5: What Five Bands Should Tour Together Right Now?
Happy Friday, MetalSucks reader! Welcome to MetalSucks Friday 5, our awesome series that appears every Friday (duh) on MetalSucks (duhh) and involves the quantity of five (duhhh).
Here’s how it works: A list of best/worst/weirdest/whatever five somethings is posted by one of your beloved MetalSucks contributors or by one of our buds (like you?). Then you, our cherished reader, checks it out, has a chuckle, then chimes in with a list of the same. No sweat, just whatever springs to mind, k? (Just like that movie about those losers working at a Chicago record store!) After all, it’s Friday — the day dedicated by the gods to mindless, fun time-wasting.
Today, let’s play fantasy package tour promotor!
What five bands are you putting together for a tour in 2015?
Anso DF, MetalSucks senior editor
1. Cult Of Fire
set length: 50 min.
A larger than usual number of rad tours have been unveiled in August, and we at MetalSucks have observed that a few of their line-ups are cool and diverse. These tours feel like a curated evening, not a package tour. Maybe there’s a dynamic, a visit to more than one “place” on the map of metal. Or maybe not, shit who knows, it might just be the luck of the draw. Anyway, if you were charged with the task of putting together a traveling package tour, an awesome one, which bands would you call first?
2. Blood Command
set length: 55 mins
We’d be certain to really publicize the Anso Fest set times for the purpose of providing an alternative start time for those who can’t stomach the weird stuff. Ie. those types could arrive at the break before band number two, Blood Command. Their debut rips and they didn’t tour US for shit, so fans would be jacked for their slot. Actually we’d be superjacked because BC by now must have some new shit to debut onstage.
set time: 60 mins
Trotting out a pair of amazing “discovery” acts is foreplay. By band three, let’s watch a band that we’ve all heard already. We at Anso Fest would seek a band with enough heat and jams to power us through basically our third hour of standing in one place listening to music. The vibe wouldn’t slow down with Myrkur on the bill. Imagine the sight of our festgoers spending the second intermission chattering in anticipation. It grows to a clamor and then (above).
set time: 70 mins
Did you notice Anso Fest’s super-long set times? 60 minutes for a non-direct support band! Still, you’d agree that four hours of music before the headliner isn’t weird at all. (Mayhem Fest slotted like 49 bands before Slayer.) Still, our little party would totally take a break for dinner after Myrkur. We’d rest our ears, sit down, chit chat, nosh on pizza, pocket some fruit snacks, browse merch, get wasteder, and soon be dying for the return of an awesome band that got an awesome upgrade since last album. Anso Fest!!!!
set time: 90 mins
Haha can you just imagine the huge stage at Anso Fest swallowing up Cobalt and their club-sized banner? And can you imagine Aerosmith taking the stage after Cobalt? Steven Tyler would laugh like, What the fuckity fuck was that! and kick into “Dude (Looks Like A Lady).” Thanks for coming to Anso Fest 2015! We’re all gonna get laid!
Your turn! Have a great wknd!