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Analysis: Steel Panther’s Upcoming Acoustic Album Not A Pit Stop

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You can’t be blamed for missing a small bit of awesome news reported by MetalSucks over the holiday break. Actually, you might’ve blanked on the names of your own family for the stuffing your brain received of huge holiday news, like the end of an icon’s earthly reign and the specter of a massive sorta-reunion. So as the dust settles today, we can focus on Steel Panther and their announcement of a forthcoming acoustic CD/DVD out next month.

Acoustic!? The idea strikes you strange, sure, like a NFL linebacker setting places for a tea party: Steel Panther is the only big bump on hair metal’s seismograph, thus a release of acoustic versions smacks of power poorly wielded. But perhaps the Panther guys sense this, for their announcement points out that the album (title TBA) will include new songs, which means a shorter wait for precious new Panther jams. And the new songs will appear only on this release, says singer Michael Starr.

That changes everything! It means that this acoustic album is less a stopgap than a freaking hero, as it will save a number of jams from the fate of “bonus track” or “b-side” — and that more fans will hear them without undertaking a targeted search. I mean, how easily did you discover the acoustic bonus tracks from 2014’s All You Can Eat, “People Are Stoopid” and “She’s On The Rag” (with alternate hilarious lyrics, below)? More likely you happily listened to AYCE a million times in ignorance of the album’s full bounty (not to mention the heavy aces left off of SP’s first two albums, “I Want Pussy” and “Handicap Slut”). Even a huge Panther fan probably lived too long without all of those, but alas #neveragain. Bring on the acoustic album!! PS. Will there be nudity on the DVD?

Steel Panther’s acoustic CD/DVD is out in February. Title and details to come.

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