G.O.P. Name Song by Classic Hardcore Band Fear as Their New Anthem

  • Axl Rosenberg

Earlier today, House Republicans FINALLY took steps to stop President Obama’s horrifying death panels and forced contributions to the well-being of Americans not smart enough to get a good job with decent healthcare: they passed a bill to repeal and replace substantial portions of Obamacare, cleverly called “the Affordable Care Act” in the hopes that unsuspecting non-Fox viewers will assume it’s a good thing.

Of course, the bill still has to pass the senate… but nonetheless, this is a huge step towards making America great again. So the G.O.P. are celebrating, and deservedly so.

In addition to enjoying some cold beers, Republicans decided to announce today their party’s new anthem: “I Don’t Care About You,” but the seminal L.A. hardcore band, Fear.

Commented Speaker of the House and noted unironic Rage Against the Machine fan Paul Ryan, “I cannot think of a song that espouses the values of the G.O.P. any better than this classic.”

Neither can we, Mr. Ryan… neither can we.

Here’s to the G.O.P., the party of the American people! Hip-hip HOORAY!

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