Enlarge It's part of the VIP offerings for the band's haunted house.

You Can Take a Tour of Slipknot’s Hometown Guitar Center with Clown for Only (!) $125


As part of Slaughterhouse, the Slipknot-branded pop-up haunted house in the band’s hometown of Des Moines, IA, fans have the option to purchase special VIP bundles with added perks. There’s a whole lotta the usual: you can opt to tour the haunted house with a band member (although it isn’t specified which one), take photo ops, receive a merch bundle and, perhaps most interestingly, you’ll be provided with video footage of the whole experience afterwards.

But the most interesting of the three VIP bundles is the “Home Town Tour Guided By Clown,” which in fact has nothing to do with the Slaughterhouse (you’ll still need to pay for that separately) but offers fans a neat look into Slipknot’s past with a very, very long-winded and nonsensical tour guide. For $125, you can ride a “Slipknot Bus Tour visiting the band’s most meaningful locations in Des Moines” with Clown sitting at the front, mic in hand, narrating the journey. That in itself is pretty funny, although the likelihood Clown says anything having to do with anything is pretty low. A post by the band on Twitter teases “the bar where we got our start, to the the playground of the first photoshoot” as two locations on the tour.

But the best part, by far, is this: “Visit 3 local businesses with Slipknot activations: 1. Black Sheep Bar 2. Guitar Center 3. Zombie Burgers.”

GUITAR CENTER! Slipknot are selling you a trip to Guitar Center. It’s unclear whether Clown will be part of this section of the tour or not, and I get that Guitar Center (and not some mom and pop shop) could well have been the band’s stomping grounds when they were first starting out… but man, Slipknot are selling a trip to Guitar Center! What’s the “Slipknot activation” there, a giant keg you can hit, chaperoned by a 55-year-old, Kuge-drinking gunslinger trying to extol upon you the #tonezone of Squiers running through 6th Generation Line amplifiers?

I’ve half a mind to offer a Des Moines-area MetalSucks reader $125 to take this tour just so he or she can report back. Think of all the selfies!

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