Listening to Metal Makes You Fat, Study Says

British tabloid The Daily Star ran an article earlier this week with the headline “Metal Makes Us All Heavy” and the sub-header “loud rock linked to craving fatty foods.” The headline has got the metal world in quite a twist, naturally, due to its unscientific nature and failure to prove causality vs. correlation, but its message was boosted by the TV talk show Jeremy Vine on 5 yesterday (May 10) when the hosts discussed it — and, thankfully, mostly lampooned it — on air.

The article, which was only available in the print edition of the Star but can be viewed in lo-res fashion below, states that loud and fast music entices listeners to gorge themselves on fatty foods while classical music inspires them to make more healthy choices. You mean to say all I need to do to lose my Covid beer gut is to put on some Mozart? Eureka!

The talk show hosts weren’t buying into the spurious nature of the report either. Co-host Storm Huntley offered, “I’m kind of R&B-pop. That doesn’t make me want to have a salad. Nothing seems to make me want to have a salad.”

“It just could be one of these classic things,” Vine himself said, “that very large people are drawn to heavy metal music rather than the other way round,” citing a common error in study conclusions. “The music that makes us want to have a salad, we’ve yet to discover.”

Another person on the show pointed out that classical music could bring about comfort, which might inspire someone to indulge in a piece of chocolate cake.

You can watch the Jeremy Vine clip at the end of the episode here. Have a look at a grainy capture of the article below — along with a classic Beavis and Butt-Head bit on the topic — and please quit what you’re doing and close MetalSucks right now if there’s any hope for you to shed that winter weight.

[via Loudwire]