Enlarge Being sarcastic, in case that wasn't clear.

David Lee Roth and Gene Simmons Are in Love

  • Axl Rosenberg

In the Before Times, David Lee Roth was supposed to open up on Kiss’ farewell tour. Then the pandemic happened, and now that the tour is back on the road (for the time being at least), Kiss don’t have David Lee Roth opening, they have a… performance painter.

I’m not making that up.

So Rolling Stone asked Gene Simmons why DLR was no longer part of the tour. And Simmons could have said “Scheduling problems,” which is probably what most people assumed anyway, and been done with it.

Instead, Simmons said this:

“[Roth] was the ultimate frontman. Not Plant, not Rod Stewart, nobody. He took being a frontman way beyond anything. And then, I don’t know what happened to him… something. And you get modern-day Dave. I prefer to remember Elvis Presley in his prime. Sneering lips, back in Memphis, you know, doing all that. I don’t want to think of bloated naked Elvis on the bathroom floor.”

Okay so first of all, while listing the ultimate frontmen, Simmons’ examples were Robert Plant and Rod Stewart? Don’t get me wrong, I grew up with Rod Stewart’s music, I think Rod Stewart is just dandy. It just find it weird/funny that he went straight to Rod Stewart. Not Mick Jagger. Not Roger Daltrey. Not Freddy Mercury or Jim Morrison. Rod Stewart.

Second of all, WOW, comparing modern, living, breathing, 66-year-old David Lee Roth to Elvis Presley’s “bloated naked” corpse “on the bathroom floor” is a LOW BLOW. Granted, I haven’t see David Lee Roth since the last Van Halen tour in 2015, but at that time, at least, he was still much more fun to watch than Gene Simmons the last time I saw Kiss in 2003. I mean, it’s not as though Gene Simmons is in such amazing shape. You don’t look at that dude and go, “Whoa, he’s 72? That’s insane!”.

In any case, Diamond Dave has never been one for theatrics so likely won’t re-

Oh, what’s that you say? He did respond? And, how, pray tell, did he respond?

Okay, well, all things considered, what with Simmons comparing him to an overweight cadaver and all, Roth’s response is actually pretty casu-

Wait… what’s that? He posted that image eighteen times?!?!

David Lee Roth and Gene Simmons Are in Love

Ahh… now THERE’S the David Lee Roth I know and love!

Current Kiss tour dates, not featuring David Lee Roth:

Aug. 25 – Toledo, OH @ Huntington Center* [tickets]
Aug. 26 – Burgettstown, PA @ The Pavilion at Star Lake [tickets]
Aug. 28 – Raleigh, NC @ Coastal Credit Union Music Park at Walnut Creek [tickets]
Aug. 29 – Atlanta, GA @ Cellairis Amphitheatre at Lakewood [tickets]
Sep. 01 – Clarkston, MI @ DTE Energy Music Theatre [tickets]
Sep. 02 – Dayton, OH @ Wright State University Nutter Center [tickets]
Sep. 04 – Tinley Park, IL @ Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre [tickets]
Sep. 05 – Milwaukee, WI @ American Family Insurance Amphitheater – Summerfest Grounds [tickets]
Sep. 09 – Irvine, CA @ FivePoint Amphitheatre* [tickets]
Sep. 10 – Mountain View, CA @ Shoreline Amphitheatre* [tickets]
Sep. 12 – Wheatland, CA @ Toyota Amphitheatre* [tickets]
Sep. 17 – Ridgefield, WA @ Sunlight Supply Amphitheater [tickets]
Sep. 18 – George, WA @ Gorge Amphitheatre [tickets]
Sep. 21 – Boise, ID @ ExtraMile Arena [tickets]
Sep. 22 – West Valley City, UT @ USANA Amphitheatre [tickets]
Sep. 23 – Sparks, NV @ Nugget Event Center* [tickets]
Sep. 25 – Chula Vista, CA @ North Island Credit Union Amphitheatre [tickets]
Sep. 26 – Phoenix, AZ @ Ak-Chin Pavilion [tickets]
Sep. 28 – Hidalgo, TX @ Payne Arena* [tickets]
Sep. 29 – Del Valle, TX @ Germania Insurance Amphitheater [tickets]
Oct. 01 – Fort Worth, TX @ Dickies Arena [tickets]
Oct. 02 – Tulsa, OK @ BOK Center [tickets]
Oct. 05 – Biloxi, MI @ Mississippi Coast Coliseum [tickets]
Oct. 06 – Lafayette, LA @ Lafayette Cajundome [tickets]
Oct. 08 – West Palm Beach, FL @ iThink Financial Amphitheatre* [tickets]
Oct. 09 – Tampa, FL @ MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre* [tickets]
* New show

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