[It’s time for another great edition of Board to Death, in which we examine - and by “examine,” I mean “poke fun at” - what obsessive fans are saying on various band message boards. This week, we take a look at what the Lambgoat snots are saying about southern hard-rock revivalists The Showdown.]

The Showdown recently announced the departure of one of their members and the signing of a new record deal with a yet-to-be-announced label. Lambgoat was there to cover the story, and as usual the haters came out in full force.

“bluescreenofdeath” starts things off with “first post” bragging rights. Really, what is the fascinating with having the first post? Do kids wait around for new stories to go up so they can have the first post? Anyway, “kenny” is quick to chime in 2 minutes and 22 seconds later with “i object to your first post, im first post.” No, actually you aren’t, kenny, sorry.

“BIGTAKEOVER” has some insight to share: “this band is fucking shit. I’ve seen them live and they perform well, their first album is pretty good. but their new album was produced by the fucking 3 doors down/saliva guy.” So they’re shit but they perform well? Please clarify.

Our friend “bluescreenofdeath” is back for more! “BIGTAKEOVER 2/5/2008 8:39:15 PM y…………………. you’re an idiot. first you say they’re shit for no reason, then have reasons for why theyre good, then judge based on producer. wow, you’re a real winner. real smart.” Right on dude, and you even used “they’re” and “you’re” correctly! Good work, kid!

“mike_dexter” has some meta-commentary: “is this a band?” Woah. Deep.

“xeatshitx” shares this fine display of spelling prowess: “they used to be good, before they started coping to poison.” Usually I cope with alcohol and drugs, so I guess those are kind of poisons.

“vannawhitesuckedmydick” says: “this band needs to be struck by lightning. An appropriate death for such a cheesy band. QUIT MAKING TERRIBLE MUSIC!” So wait, did you say Vanna White sucked your dick? Tell more.

And finally some cred flag-waving from “deathcoresucks”: “Too bad that they are the biggest hypocrites ever…I’ve hung out with the guys on a couple occasions and Solid State would definitely not be too happy with the message that a “Christian” should be sending… Oh yeah, and their music blows too.” Ok, so you’re attempting to claim you’re cool by hanging out with them but then you say they blow? Are you a Christian? Are you voting for Mike Huckabee? Does deathcore, in fact, suck?

This has been a rousing edition of Board to Death as usual. Until next time, continue to keep it real on those boards, kids.

-VN