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Editorials

THREE THINGS WE KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT THE NEW METALLICA ALBUM

 Monday, April 28th, 2008 at 3:18pm by
  1. It will come out.
  2. The band will make a big deal out of announcing its release date when the time comes to do so.
  3. It will suck.

I mention these three things because Amazon is currently listing an October 28 release date for the new Metallica album, and, for some reason, this completely unofficial and unconfirmed non-announcement has been deemed newsworthy, as though online retailers held the answers to all of metal’s release date woes. Which they clearly do not.

People: when there’s a release date to announce, the Metallica machine will hit you over the head with it so many times you’ll wonder why they didn’t just pay you to brand the date on your ass. So just relax already, m’kay?

-AR

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  • Blake

    How can you be so sure it will suck? And why do you have such a disliking for anything Metallica?

  • http://hookssobig.blogspot.com Wayne

    I’m with Blake…..how do we know this will suck? Do these guys get absolutely no credit for the amazing metal and hard rock that they’ve made? Can’t we reasonably say that Judas Priest, AC/DC, Iron Maiden , Black Sabbath, and Slayer have made just as many shitty albums as Metallica? But we let them off the hook….why? Metallica is every bit as integral to the forward momentum of this music that we love as those guys, so what about them is so wrong? Is it REALLY Napster? Is that really a big deal? Is it b/c of Some Kind of Monster? So what? So the guys are actual human beings? Is that why we’re so hard on them? Yeah, St. Anger sucked. So what? Yeah, the next one might suck too. But what are you guys going to be saying if it turns out amazing? Do you promise to make a big display out of being wrong if that turns out to be the case?

  • http://www.myspace.com/crocpodcast Noch

    I’ve heard the leaked version (why be ashamed to say it folks…you’re all gonna download this shit instead of wasting money buying it)…

    It’s not St. Anger.It’s actually pretty fucking different.

    But it’s also NOT a return to their thrash years.The songs are overly long,repetitive,and very lame.There are some Kirk solos thrown in here and there,but nothing as memorable as what he’s done on other albums or at shows.
    Added to the fact that these solos are always shoved ’round the end of the song and each song is so fucking boring you gotta hit the skip button before you get to the good,or should I say average stuff.

    Only one of the tracks on this record is half-memorable,and that’s ”Under Influences” since the solo fucking rips (that’s the only good thing I can say about this record really).Kind of reminiscent of something off the Black Album,but with much less generic and radio-friendly lead guitar parts.

    I don’t know if many will agree with me on this one.But I hear some Nick Cave in there (James Hetfield’s new idol against all expectations when we remember the James Hetfield of the 80s Metallica).And that’s totally the anti-thesis of thrash metal.

    If you’re not into thrash metal and you prefer the Load & Reload era,just with much more useless lenghts to a song if I may say…

    Check it out.

    If you really thought Metallica was ever gonna go back to the root of their success…

    You will be greatly upset.

    That was my two cents.

    Listen to C.R.O.C.,people.www.myspace.com/crocpodcast
    Best of grind,death and black metal from the underground.

    Noch
    C.R.O.C.

  • umm

    whatever “leak” you have ain’t real, james hasn’t even finished the lyrics yet

  • amy

    4. Stupid idiots will like it. And angrily defend it.

  • http://www.myspace.com/crocpodcast Noch

    Weird,since what I’ve heard definitely is Metallica.

    Maybe there are some additionnal songs that haven’t been recorded yet,those being the ones with unfinished lyrics.

    Either way,I definitely hope it wasn’t the real thing.Whatever it was,it sure wasn’t great.

  • kevin

    No, every leak has been fake. Anything you heard was not metallica. Theres dozens of “leaks” on youtube, and it really does not take much detective work to find out who the real bands are.

  • kevin

    Yea i have to agree with the first 2 posters, im willing to give metallica another chance, considering they’ve made some of the best meal albums of all time.

  • Devin

    @ Wayne. It is going to suck. And once it does suck, we will give them shit for it.

  • http://www.myspace.com/evilsammy Sammy

    Here is what IS certain: Regardless of its suckosity or awesomosity or anything in between, there will be people who will think it sucks and those who think it’s awesome, regardless. Those people have already made up their minds long before hearing one note. As for me, I’ll give it listen, on someone else’s dime, then either pay up for a copy of my own or move on and declare them dead to me.

    Load/Reload was a case of bad quality control: release everything we’ve recorded, good or bad. Between the two I could find one decent album.

    St. Anger was a good idea gone horribly, horribly wrong. Pretty much every song was three and half minutes of garbage, then repeat. I liked that they wanted to go “raw”, but man what a trainwreck.

  • Dude Manbro

    If there is even one halfway decent tune on any new Metallica album I will happily print this page out & eat every single derogatory word written about them. There is zero danger of that ever happening. They’ve been in the studio twice in the last what, 18 years? All they managed to do was plop out those horrible “Load” albums & the humiliating “St. Anchor”. Oh yeah, and a bunch of weak shitty cover songs too, forgive me for forgetting those. Yodelin’ Jimmy & Picasso Ulrich can’t make a shoe stink, much less make good metal music anymore. They really ought to break up so Hetfield can fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming Ronnie Van Zandt.

  • http://www.myspace.com/crocpodcast Noch

    Well what I’ve heard does sound like Metallica.

    I’m not aware of what band it actually was since I don’t waste my time listening to shitty,so-called ”heavy” bands that country fans probably started digging thinking this is the heaviest they are ever gonna hear.

    I usually listen to technical death metal and also old school death metal.I pay attention to what Metallica does since I’ve been initiated to metal with records like ”Kill ‘Em All” and ”Master of Puppets”.

    Maybe it doesn’t take much detective work for some people to guess who the leaks are from…but hell whoever it came from…it plain sucks.

    Noch
    C.R.O.C.

  • http://untilsheshines.blogspot.com/ Christopher

    Metallica has sucked for like 15 years…that’s why the new one will suck. Also, the new Judas Priest album will CONSUME ALL.

  • http://www.hibernum.net Hibernum

    eh…I’d rather listen to Anton Maiden than anything by these washed up has beens. You’re old and tired, no place for you in metal. Seriously, why can’t the rest of Metallica just die?

    Okay, okay, who else remembers Anton Maiden? Anyone? Or are you all still in diapers?
    http://antonmaiden.altervista.org/
    Seriously, forget about Metallica. It’s over, it’s never coming back, and not even Rick Rubin can change that.

  • 36Thoughtless

    Although most of the time I don’t agree with Sammy, I have to say that I do this time. Why? Well, cause everyone’s making such a big fucking deal about this album.
    And there’s no chance that it’s gonna meet the hardliners’ expectations. Even if it is a good album in its own right, it’s no match for their long history, that happened 18 years ago. Personally, I don’t care for the Black album that much, when compared to “…And Justice For All” and “Kill ‘Em All”: I just like the thrashier output better. Whatever happens, I seriously doubt they’ll go back to that type of album

  • Ryan

    How can you be sure it will suck and why hate on metallica?
    Rick is producing it and has in mind to push for fade to black and ride the lightning style albums so wtf those are some of the best work for Metallica so how the F can you say it will suck.Yes it is comming out and Yes it will be awesome.Peope throw shit at Metallica but (Wiki Quote) With over 100 million records sold worldwide, including 57 million in the United States alone, the band has won seven Grammy Awards, and has had four albums peak at number one on the Billboard 200.[1] that dosnt sound like a shitty band to me and to a hell of alot of other people. Push the boundries and invent your style and stay true to who you are is a tricky balance but Metallica is doing great so far.

  • scottymack

    give em a chance for christs sake

  • redd

    It’s all Lars’ fault. Fuck Lars.

  • http://countshockula.blogspot.com ezra

    Why give super-rich assholes that took 40 years to figure out that they have to grow up someday a “Chance”? If its good, then so be it. Until then, we get to make fun of them. That’s what you get for being a celeb. Why must everyone take all the fun out of things?

  • ERiK

    The whole band should have died in the bus accident, not just Cliff. Their legacy would have been crystalized in perfection.

  • Muttweiler

    I wanna live!!! Embalm me, prop me up on stage, and pay $100 plus for a seat. Metal Rolling Stones mutherfuckers!!!!!

  • http://myspace.com/ufc_champ_scott iScott

    Metallica will prove you and everyone else who doubts them wrong. This album is going to be great.

  • scottymack

    bands change as they get older…
    you cant have the same album over and over again!
    how boring would that be..
    give em props for trying new things…sometimes ya miss …other times you give the world something truly original…
    as i said…give em a chance

  • miguel_g(Peru)

    This is what only one of the greatest bands in history (regardless of the genere) can do. People are giving them props or throwing shit at them with a fan, while ther’re doing absolutly nothing.

    It seems it has become “cool” to some young metalheads to bash metallica, and I’ve happend to know a few of them in the local metal bars here in Lima. It also has become a sort of “test” to prove how metal they are to bash their recent material and praise their old, and how pissed they are because of the haircuts and the stylistic change. there guys are barely 18, and probably most of them are carrying fake IDs,so they were listening to AJFA while they were shitting themselves? OK.

    Don’t expect anything until the album is released. They’re going to do the things very quietly this time, after the whole advertising campaign for St.Anger and the terrible flop it was.

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  • defender of the faith

    they started sucking when dave mustaine left. what makes anyone think this will be any good

  • kevin

    oo they started sucking before they even released a fucking album then? You’re an idiot, why don’t you go post at blabbermouth, you might fit in better.

  • http://n/a Weston

    I agree that it seems to have become fashionable to jump on the “old Metallica is great, new Metallica is shit” bandwagon. Perhaps they were better when they were more thrash, but does that really matter? If you’re gonna stand up and say that songs like “Sad but True” “The Unforgiven” “Wasting My Hate” aren’t good songs I’m gonna call ya an idiot.

    Stand on your soapbox and declare that Metallica sucks if you want, but we all know that you’re gonna do just like the rest of us and buy the album. WE’RE ALL GONNA BUY THE ALBUM, ANY SELF RESPECTING METAL FAN WON’T BE ABLE TO NOT. And don’t kid yourself by saying you won’t. We all bought St. Anger, that’s how we ALL know it sucked.