VAN HALEN’S TOUR RIDER PROVES THAT DLR AND EVH ARE DOIN’ IT FOR THE ART

Friday, December 5th, 2008 at 11:00am by

Only, not really.

Lest there was any doubt that Diamond Dave and the Super Van Halen Bros. kissed and made up for the love of the Benjamins, the 2008 tour rider unearthed by The Smoking Gun proves otherwise.

Most of the crap required by the band is pretty typical to the riders I’ve seen in the past – certain types of food and drinks, air conditioners and heaters, etc., and, in this case, an “education room” for Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen and his tutor – but the really interesting aspect is the band’s requirement for each musician to receive his own dressing room. Actually, that in and of itself isn’t that fascinating – but the fact that David Lee Roth’s dressing room is specifically required to be “AS FAR AWAY FROM [the] DRESSING ROOMS” of the Van Halen family as possible does seem pretty telling (And, for the record, the all-caps demand for space comes from the rider itself, which is otherwise written in perfectly normal type.).

So, there ya have it. DLR and the Van Halens can’t even be near one another while in completely separate rooms. Which raises the question: how the fuck does this band travel from show to show? Do they need to take separate flights? I always liked to believe that David Lee Roth was just shot out of a cannon from one city to the next anyway, but now you really gotta wonder.

-AR

  • Damotello

    In my eyes a world where DLR gets shot out of a cannon every night seems so much more magical then the infinitely less likely idea of a world where DLR and EVH get along, it’s just such a fantastic image. Or if he filled Fat Bassist Van Halen with helium and used him as a balloon to travel there.

  • Sammy

    Have you considered the anti-Semitism angle?

  • http://www.buzzgrinder.com Jay

    As an unabashed proponent of Austrian economics and an artist of some sort, I can say that they are not mutually exclusive concepts.

    However, Van Halen sucks.

  • David

    In the first place, I never thought at any moment of any rock stars career it was anything more than for money. So if they have to be seperated so they can bring us the VH sound, then seperate them. As far as Jay goes, anyone that thinks VH sucks must be into DISCO.