FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A COPY OF THE NEW BAKERTON GROUP (MEMBERS OF CLUTCH) CD!
Thursday, February 12th, 2009 at 6:40pm by Vince Neilstein
There were a fuck load of entries for last week’s funny photo caption contest. That’s ’cause the prizes are so damn awesome; 1 grand prize winner gets a signed copy of God Forbid’s new record Earthsblood, a Beneath the Scars of Glory and Progression DVD, a t-shirt and a poster. And 10 runners-up win a signed copy of Earthsblood! We’re not gonna waste your time with the 10 runner-up entries (though these people will be contacted shortly), but here’s the grand prize winning caption to the photo at right (side note: anyone who thought this vegetable is celery is a fucking moron and needs eat somewhere other than Taco Bell occasionally.):
Mike: “After seeing the looks on Manowar’s faces, the doomed roadie realized that they had asked him for “noble stallions,” not “noble scallions.”
This week we’re giving away 3 copies of the new CD El Rojo from The Bakerton Group, aka the dudes from Clutch sans vocals. The CD comes out next Tuesday, February 17th. Alls ya gotta do to win a free one is come up with a caption to the photo below that makes us laugh. Thanks to Daniel for sending in this week’s photo.
Buckethead’s formative years in the military were enough to convince him that the only way to get the smell of Army food out of his nose was to constantly wear a greasy KFC bucket on his head, in the hopes that the congealed grease and chicken fat would win the battle against the odor of the vile slime molds that are military meals.
Corey Taylor’s goofy poses are starting to get out of hand. He calls this one his, “About to Get Hit by a Bus” pose.
an old fan of slipknot sees their new masks horrified at how bad they are
Shy Guy, the unofficial 10th member of Slipknot, is seen here being kept in line by Corey’s threat to consume a Fire Flower.
“I shall stop the bus with my bare ha…”
the diseases contracted by simply sharing a stage with Axl Rose even sprouted sores on Buckethead’s plastic mask. “Look away….. I’m hideous!”
The real victims of wigger slam are the children.
On the verge of a major label signing, the founding members of Hollywood Undead made a tough, albeit necessary decision to leave the band’s weakest link, ‘Squatty 2 Bummin’, on a deserted road somewhere in the vast Nevada desert.
Puke up the shrooms and get off the runway you dumbfuck
After years of wallowing in self-pity due to not making it onto the cover of Yakuza’s “Way of the Dead” album, he decided to take his own life by running in front of airplanes at the airport.
People: do you have any idea who you’re making fun of here?
BucketHead was a mindfucker before musician. Pilot mindfucker.
After the new Limp Bizkit album was released, many of the Earths inhabitants were turned to stone.
This is an exclusive first image from the production of Marcus Nispel’s newest “reimagining”: MASK.
In the scene, Rocky Dennis recoils in horror as he realizes that not only did he wake up on an airstrip after a three day smack bender, but also that his mom is Cher.
AHH!! MY GEESE!!
Buckethead’s mother shields herself from the Jonas Brothers
“NOOOOOO!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!” …seems to be all we hear as even the weirdo with the mask on is deeply frightened by the sudden appearance of Courtney Love.
Brother Von Doom from the states sickest frat house, before he fully earned that PHD. Even jägerbombs couldn’t hold him back.
Not even Wes Borland was ready for this one… “I Got it! Reunion!
…and Sean Patrick Flanery was typecast for all eternity….
Buckethead after he watches, “An Inconvenient Truth,” thus becoming brainwashed by the shit Al Gore pukes from his fucktard mouth about global warming…”THE CAPS ARE MELTING MAN!! THE END IS NEAR!!!”
Try as he might, all the psychokinetic energy in the world couldn’t hold back Bruce Dickinson’s 767…Iron Maiden was quick to pen “You’ve been living so long in hiding behind that false mask. And you know and I know that you ain’t got long now to last” following the incident…NTSB reports to be made public in the coming weeks
oh crap that truck is not going to stop in time
Oh My God….. What!? You Mean Obama Won!?!? thats the last american tour.
cont.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
As the plane came down, the herpes-ridden mime decided that maybe, just maybe, he should have picked a bus station instead.
The poor soul whose summer tragedy inspired the name Death In June.
“What have we done…”, the only words Corey Taylor can mouth as he witnesses the destruction caused by the ever growing ego-demon that is Clown.
A member of Hollywood Undead looking 20 years into his future.
“Oh dear, I’ve wasted my life.”
-Corey Taylor, right before the meteor hit.
I’m open, I’m open!!
Looking forward to seeing these guys next Saturday. Oh…..the picture….I don’t get it I guess….but lame pick. Seriously.
Oooooh I get it now..yikes…I just wasted two slots….whiskey…….
The homeless Paggliacci looks on in horror as Disturbed opens for Cher at an airport bar.
Not in photo: Randy Blythe about to Shotgun the fuck out of one of the Hollywood Undead rappers.
Rob Zombie needs to stop making movies.
Ryan, that was awesome.
Looks like Joey’s mom’s gonna have to catch the next flight
after glimpsing michael jackson without his “face” on, the pilot of the singer’s private jet whisked away, leaving the shamed singer on the runway wondering how anyone could have even seen him while he was wearing his camouflage coat.
“Oh my God, I just got my nails done and they look fabulous!”
Looks like the last group that Leatherface got his hands on were the Hollywood Undead.
Look at my right hand. Now the left. Now the right again. Alright you’re under. Now listen to me closely…I can eat an entire Ryan’s buffet by myself. If anyone asks, be sure that is the one fact made clear about me. And also, there is nothing weird about me or the secrets I choose to reveal. It will all make sense in a fortnight. Okay, you’re back in the room. I would like my Steakums now, please.
Luis Rocha fuckin stole mine….well done
I knew i shouldn’t have worn the camo? Charlie Scene’s gonna be pissed
Halloween 2
After getting kicked out of that weird, fruity dance group from those stupid Gatorade G commercials for contracting the worse case of syphilis known to man, Larry roamed the country all Rambo style. Moments before his death in a freak luggage cart accident, he asked himself the same question we are all wondering now… How the Hell did one of those guys get laid in the first place?
Do Not Want.
An example of what it will be like when the deer take the drivers seat and humans selfishly gallop across the roads
Corey Taylor on the video shoot for his cover of Creed’s “With Arms Wide Open”
Buckethead’s near identical twin, less into the muzak and more of a game nerd, can be seen here practicing chants and attempting to conjure up a gypsy ghost somewhere near an indian burial site so he can wish for a bigger penis and actually lose his virginity, just in time for his 39th birthday.
Fuck this contest, Death in June is the best band ever.
What Hollywood Undead casting call for Swan Song would look like in the South, live from a Duck Blind!
Tony Stark’s actual first Iron Man suit left much to be desired…..
“And now, time for ‘Project Runway’, with Corey Taylor…”
A masked nazi-folk musician overacts for a photo on a runway. If thats not a good fuckin joke I dont know what is.
Wes Borland, sans 1998, being shown his future.
Buckethead used his persuasive personality to make the pilot of a troubled airplane redirect to the Hudson River…
Buckethead quit the band when he realized getting on the plane with Axl would require dolphins slashing out of its nose.
Hellhammer quit the band when he realized playing with The Kovenant would require him to cry behind his mask.
The great Russian Lord of Paleness try´s to avoid the Sunshine… Just seconds before he was pulled trough an Aircraft engine… He hasn´t seen it coming…
..Blinded by the light..
Headline photo from the press release detailing Douglas P’s protest on a runway after hearing news that Death In June have not only been banned from playing in certain countries, but now are not allowed to play within their national airspace either.
“Maybe I should have told someone I was filming my video on this runway!”
“If you stare at the horizon long enough all you can see is fire. Fires burnin’ as far as they eyes can see.”
Screaming, telekinetic leper trying to hitch a ride on a Boeing 747. That’s what that is.
The cover art of Suffocation’s Despise the Sun, as seen from the front.
That’s Douglas Pearce YOU BASTARDS! ;0)
And COSK, if you think he is a Nazi, how do you explain this:
“Pearce, who is openly homosexual, has collaborated with various ethnic Jews throughout his music career. The official Death in June website site featured the flag of Israel, and Death in June played a concert in Israel on June 18, 2004 for a predominantly Jewish audience.”
Making fun of douglas P is not cool. Enjoy your clutch side-project cd, “winners”.
i lovet his so much!
No Albin!….NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!
Slowly, the Bitch with the Twitch closed in on Douglas, brandishing his new Leonard Cohen Tribute CD…
Boyd Rice: “ugh Douglas…”
Douglas P: “Yes”
Boyd Rice: “CRUEFEST isnt until July”
Douglas: WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT??!?!?!?!?
Same, the Jonas brothers can make any song a decent song .
joe is cute but nick is HOT i like nick j more than you so put it in a jucie box and suck it
OMG!
THAT LIGHT!!!
IT’S JESUS!
OMG!
HE HAS THE BIGGEST BOOBS IN ALL HELL!!!!
“STOP”!!! Corey yells out as Slipknots plane takes off for their European tour without him.
NO giant gorilla don’t throw your faeces. NNOOOO!!!
DONT LOOK AT ME!!! I DONT HAVE MY FACE ON!