JOHN DOLMAYAN GOTTA EAT, SON
Monday, April 20th, 2009 at 11:00am by Axl Rosenberg
Scars on Broadway didn’t work out. I’m still not entirely sure why. There seems to be some consesus that their album sucked, but I didn’t think so at all (and neither did my colleague Sammy O’Hagar, who reviewed the record). In any case, it’s a moot point, because at the end of the day, all any of us really want is for System of a Down to get back together already.
And I suspect no one wants that more than drummer John Dolmayan, who apparently auditioned to be the new drummer for Smashing Pumpkins. Because there’s really only two possible reasons he might have done this:
- He’s bored.
- He’s broke.
For the sake of humor, let’s assume Dolmayan is broke.
Because if it’s just boredom, than, really, why audition? You’re John Fucking Dolmayan. You’re “offer only,” bitch. Maybe your name doesn’t carry John Bonham weight, but it’s not like you’re some slouch. Fuck, the next most famous drummer Billy Corgan could think to name drop is Frank Lenz, who played with whoever the fuck the second guitarist in the Pumpkins is these days in some band with a name so dumb I don’t even wanna type it here.
Can you imagine if Dolmayan DOESN’T get the gig? If he loses out to Frank “Who the Fuck Am I?” Lenz??? How humiliating!
Now I’m hoping that Dolmayan will come out and make some statement about he was actually just jamming with the band as a favor to Corgan, not auditioning – the same way Eddie Van Halen called bullshit on Limp Bizkit when they tried to make it sound like EVH had tried out for the then-departed Wes Borland’s spot. Because Corgan is already so fucking pathetic that having Dolmayan tell the world he’s a lying prick would just be too, too funny.
And if Dolmayan really did audition for the Pumpkins? Then I’m assuming that a) there’s no SOAD reunion on the horizon and b) the poor guy must be starving. Maybe Serj Tankian can play a benefit concert to raise canned foods for the dude?
-AR
Kinda liked Scars on Broadway in an over the top sort of way. Way better than the last SOAD album…
It’s been my experience – albeit admittedly purely on a small time, amateur level – that drummers just want to play. They aren’t so concerned with genre.
I thought Scars on Broadway was alright, but I would really like to see System of A Down back together.
I doubt John’s broke; last I heard he runs a comic book store on the side.
I hope that’s a joke…
Nope.
Comic books have been his passion all his life, he started a Las Vegas based online comic book store not super long ago (a couple years or something)
(source: avid SOAD fan and heard him on LoveLine talking about it)
Dude ain’t broke. Anybody here read the story about him dropping $200k plus dollars on an original copy of the first Superman comic last month?
Sammy is actually right on the money, being a drummer of eleven years i have never really stuck with one style of music, I have always just kind of jumped around whenever the music started sucking or if it never got any better than it was when i started. But recently I just started calling whatever I’m doing progressive so that i don’t have to explain why, I’m doing it. Because people tend to believe that you always have to play the same style of music and can’t fathom that you may like some other style for some reason. [read: people are fucking stupid]
Yeah, I’ve been drumming about 4 years and I’ll pretty much play whatever – it’s just fun no matter what the genre – with a few exceptions. any drumming is good practice, and you can’t get enough practice.
Also have to concur, I just like to drum to seriously almost anything.
Scars downfall was the simple fact that Malankian SHOULD NOT SING… EVER
I am pretty sure that he isn’t broke since he owns his own comic book distribution company that I think is called Torpedocomics.com. Maybe he just likes Smashing Pumpkins and wanted to be a part of that. Give us some stories with substance, like I would love to hear what the German godfathers of melodic death metal from Grave have been up to. I heard that they got the album of the year in Germany.
I guess I should read everyone’s posts before posting a comment, but I would still like an interview with Grave.
Grave is from Sweden…
he aint broke, and i think sammy hit the nail on the head, i don’t feel like doing research to link it now but if you look it up he just did a record with rizza from wu-tang and a shitload of other rappers. I heard it in an interview he did with Ellismate on Sirius. Sounds fucking tight too – for rap that is.
ok so i did look it up, it was shavo not domayan, and it sucks:
http://www.myspace.com/achozen
I guess he is broke, whatever im drunk on 4/20– so i got it all wrong today, fuck all
I liked the Scars on Broadway record pretty much. Far better than Serj’s solo record.
john dolmayan is the best!. but i think he worked better with SOAD than with SOB. anyways he’s also a great guy.
Lenz is an awesome drummer, John Dolmayan doesn’t belong in the same room as him (or anyone else who doesn’t know who he is).