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Viral Vomit

THE MOST ANNOYING LITTLE KID IN THE WORLD

 Tuesday, June 15th, 2010 at 10:30am by

I saw the below video this morning at RiB. I’m inclined to agree with Elise’s assessment that an adult put him up to this, and that he “likes that ‘Iron Man’ riff a lot more than he’s letting on” – in fact, I’d take it one step further, and say he clearly LOVES the “Iron Man” riff. But the video is kinda funny. And before anyone spews too much vile towards the lil’ tyke in the comments section, I’d like to point out that there is absolutely no need to take this brat seriously. Why?

  • Because he’s just a kid, and despite what Nickelodeon would have them believe, kids’ opinions don’t really matter.
  • He clearly has many years of getting beaten up on the playground ahead of him. He will also most likely escape high school and possibly even college with his virginity intact. He will tell you that he thinks that’s a good thing, but trust me: no teenage boy that isn’t a eunuch thinks that’s a good thing, no matter how much sexual repression and guilt religion has instilled in him.
  • He’s just a kid.
  • He uses the word “gay” as a derogatory word. Speaking as someone who used to have that terrible habit, I feel qualified to say: It’s 2010. Only retards still use the word “gay” as a derogatory word.
  • He’s just a kid.

And on that note… get yer LULZ on…

-AR

Tags: , ,
  • Major Zim

    “its gay, and satanic!” its surprising that he found Gaahl that fast.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Winnett/504952291 Daniel Winnett

      You sir, are a legend. All bow to Major Zim.

    • Ziltoid

      Wow, fucking win!

      +1

    • http://www.examiner.com/x-44499-San-Antonio-Heavy-Metal-Examiner San Antonio Heavy Metal Examiner

      Haha, yes! Best first post ever!

    • Captain Shoggoth

      Old post? Yes. Any less epic? Fuck no. A million internets to you, sir.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Reid/1199127881 Sean Reid

    I kinda agree with him on Metallica though. Not the parts where they’re satanic but I’m pretty sure they’re going to hell for some of the crap they’ve pulled over the years. Atleast, they should for the “Black” album.

    • boortz

      Also swearing at concerts is inexcusable

      • Dwarfskeet

        boortz, that made me giggle.

        Also Iron Maiden. Because they just aren’t cool, so they are going to hell. For playing the guitar.

      • F-Bomb

        I beg you to differ. Swearing is necessary to sound heavier, which obviously is a good thing.

  • http://www.myspace.com/palehorseofhell lord assenfroth

    he is definitally down with iron man, black sabbath is definitally what got me into metal. watch in 10 years this kid will be a die-hard. i could be wrong he may be eternally damned to being a turd.

    • LoGs the shit

      This kid is either a future Fred Phelps prodigy, or a future vocalist for an avenged sevenfold cover band. Either way, his future is grim

  • corrupt_toolbox

    To many people, using ‘retard’ as a derogatory word is just as bad as using ‘gay’ as a derogotary word.

    Not to me, I don’t give a shit, but I just thought I’d point that out.

    • The 2,334,275,002nd most interesting man on the planet

      Obviously it was said ironically.

      • Anthony

        Ironically it was said obviously

        • crapmcpoopin

          Sound like Yoda you do.

  • morningrise

    Ziltoid looks much younger than I thought he would

    • http://www.myspace.com/palehorseofhell lord assenfroth

      win

    • >_>

      lol nice one

    • Ziltoid

      Ha.

      Ha.

      Yes, I hate metal.

  • ZackP

    someday he will look back on this video and go “Man I was a cool little kid”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brian-Edwards/100000527928466 Brian Edwards

    I also play Dungeons and Dragons and I like girls. Clearly satanic right?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Annalisa---Triola/604992980 Annalisa マリエ- Triola

      Totally, we’re all damned Brian. And i am most certainly going to burn in hell for taking birth control.

      Also, Thank you Axel for pointing out the ignorant usage of “gay” as a derogatory term. I hear it far too much.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Showalter/100000592087843 Anthony Showalter

    Metallica sings about satan?! Wow this kid really knows what he’s talking about!! And if you’ve heard Hallowed Be Thy Name or the Trooper before, then you’d be calling Iron Maiden “Riff Gods” not “OAPs”

    Saying that Iron Maiden’s riffs suck is what’s gonna send him to hell for sure.

  • Bob

    gay

  • Stolas Trephinator

    How do I reeeech deez keeeeds?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Showalter/100000592087843 Anthony Showalter

      I know, right Mr. Escalante? Oh, and they make this shit called “Rogaine” now.

      • Random

        NEVER GIVE UP ON CHEATING.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Razza-Tu/717008242 Razza Tu

    “Iron Maiden! Thees Eenlish band!”

  • Johnny

    little troll bastard! how dare he!

  • makeral t. beardbucket

    A few hours in a locked room with those Burden tracks on 11 oughta soften him up a little. “Ooooooooooooo. Eeeaaarrrrrrrrrrrr. Oooooooooooooo. Rrrrrrrrroooooooo Eeuuuuhhhhhhhhhh Oooooooooooooo.”!

  • (required)

    I never looked at it that way… he’s right, metal is gaytanic. Im’a go listen to some Kirk Franklin… but not off of iTunes. Never off of iTunes.

  • http://schenkeltown.blogspot.com SchenkelTown

    1. the only thing more disgusting than metal is that kids eyebrows
    2. what are o.a.p’s?
    3. get him a column on this site!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Winnett/504952291 Daniel Winnett

      Over Assed Penises

  • the opposition machine

    new tagline for this site: satanic and stupid

    give it 6 months before hes a closet metalhead…he was jamming that sabbath riff way too hard

    • Kyle

      I’m pretty sure he expressed interest in metal to his parents and they set his little impressionable mind straight and told him the hard facts about murderous, satanic metal bands and how they kill millions of people on their sacrificial alters on their extensive cross country tours.

      And that they’re gay.

  • Ed Barranger

    he needs to come up with a better argument than “stupid and gay”

    • http://www.omimetal.wordpress.com The Greys

      My guess is this kid gets beaten up regularly at his middle school by a kid who wears a metal tee. That would explain the hostility. The first time he gets his butt whomped by a kid in a Jay-Z tee, he’ll post a video about how all rap is satanic, too.

      I know he’s really young, but if he’s gonna post his thoughts for the world to see, he needs to work on his debate skills. Like Ed said, calling something “gay” and “stupid” is not a reasoned argument.

    • DemonicLemming

      That’s probably the extent of the insults his mommy lets him say.

  • brandonmetal

    I like the youtube comment ‘you’re going to hate yourself in 10 years’

  • brandonmetal
  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Whiskey-Ramble/1342228610 Whiskey Ramble

    I think its stil funny as fuck to call things gay, all I can think about right now is a gay drive-by, rollin by with a hand full of skittles, limp wrist launchin the handful, “Taste the rainbow, Bitch’s”, so, yeah, despite it being 2010 and having ipads, super absorbent maxi pads, and the technology to land on the moon but not cap an oil leak, It’s still pretty goddamn funny to call someone and/or something gay. There’s a gay joke, lol, oil leak, grosss. and I hope someone gets behind me on this issue. HAHAHAH, see? another gay joke! You know you fuckin cock-gazers love that shit. Two circles and a snap. . So, once again, calling something gay is still undeniably hilarious. Supergayqueerhomosexuals!

  • sara

    and we are the haters….

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Annalisa---Triola/604992980 Annalisa マリエ- Triola

      It’s sad, because those outside the metal community often think most metal fans are the ignorant, hateful and violent ones…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-R-Wilson/502405051 Michael R. Wilson

    Wow…. just fucking wow…. I’ve been watching this kids videos and he’s got to be the most infuriating-misguided little son-of-a-bitch I’ve ever seen… Haha.

    • Jonathan

      I can’t wait until he gets out of private school. So many revelations and eye-opening moments… he might lose his virginity if he realizes how much of an idiot he was.
      Or he’ll join the lacrosse team and remain an ignorant ass.

      For now, he’s a much better form of entertainment than Jersey Shore.

      • Tom

        No way he’ll join the lacrosse team, especially after all the times they’ve shoved parking cones up his ass.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Phil-Hopkins/100000274440932 Phil Hopkins

    If you guys think that’s funny you oughta check out his YouTube channel. He does a video on drugs with a friend of his and they both start crying. Classic stuff.

  • ENJAGGERED

    He’s just a kid. I think it’s a little mean to be posting his video here for hundreds and hundreds of people to see. I agree, he’s obviously influenced mostly by what are probably his parents’ opinions. He’s just a kid. Before somebody says “Well hey, he posted his video on youtube, he obviously wants lots of people to see it,” – He obviously doesn’t really have any idea what he’s talking about, he’s just a kid.

    • http://www.myspace.com/palehorseofhell lord assenfroth

      yea, i feel sorry for the kid. a video like that should go unviewed by the public. now some kid who goes to school with him and likes metal is probobly gonna give him shit.

      • http://www.omimetal.wordpress.com The Greys

        Yes, the video where he asks people to stop posting nasty comments on his YouTube posts made me sad for him. Ragging on him feels like punching a baby seal.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Logan-Holloway/1100588308 Logan Holloway

          fuck babies seals or otherwise

          • http://www.omimetal.wordpress.com The Greys

            ew.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sanskar-Wagley/1376400331 Sanskar Wagley

    Is that kid even old enough to have a Youtube account?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Annalisa---Triola/604992980 Annalisa マリエ- Triola

      I’m gonna say no, as his user name is “JoshChristian99″, implying he was born in 1999 and only 11

  • joshkid

    2:59 REPRESENT!!!

  • http://live.com 5

    its west borough baptist church’s newest member

    • Jonathan

      You sir have just won the internet.

  • osamasohuggable

    Kids’ opinions generally come from the parents so maybe his parents are just lame. You gotta teach your children right, like the video from yesterday (burning popsicle stick churches).

  • Dink

    This kids lisp is hilarious. “Another band is Iron Maiden, thith Englith band….” haha

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trip-Cahouet/706361037 Trip Cahouet

    Isn’t this kid friends with the “Don’t Call Me a Homo” kid?

    • Kyle

      It looks like the “Gingers have souls” guy’s little brother.

  • http://www.myspace.com/thestarsthrewdowntheirspears Tim

    The lisp and the ignorance combined weren’t really enough to get me laughin, but when I finally noticed the framed photo of Obi-Wan and…um… Liam Neeson’s character from the first movie?… in the back, it hit me.

  • Clement

    So these punk and metal bands are all satanists trying to spread hate, and that’s why he makes a video talking about how much they suck and how much he hates them. Great. But seriously, after hearing him say that iTunes needs more gospel music I’m pretty sure this is a joke.

  • Yo Diggity

    Anyone who would willingly frames a promotional picture of Revenge of the Sith on their wall and be proud…their opinion on anything is taken as seriously as Pat Boone’s In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy album.

  • Sambo

    I didn’t even have to get more than a minute into the video to realize how “gay” this is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ben-Alexander/1092891172 Ben Alexander

    Is this kid trying to be the new Jawsus or something?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trip-Cahouet/706361037 Trip Cahouet

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SfbENAE_Y4
    ^These guys are accomplices.

    • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

      He looks like he’s about to cry in EVERY video.

  • Mordecai 9000

    I like how he stops the Iron Man riff before the last note.

    I also like how he pronouces “genre” as “jon-re.”

    I also like when he says that iTunes needs more gospel music.

    Lulz.

  • brandonmetal

    i think the main issues are
    A) there’s a whole legion of retards breeding and teaching kids to be like this
    B) youtube
    -1 gives you the power to show how retarded you are. to the whole world.
    -2 showcases that, no matter how amazing tech evolves, it will be used for spectacularly retarded purposes.

  • Perpetual Black Screen Name

    No. There is NO excuse for this kid. Check out the rest of his YouTube page. It’s like a Hitler youth rally or something. Nothing but hateful rhetoric. You see? This IS religion. This is what it does to people. Makes them think they’re above everyone else. The thing that cracks me up, besides the obvious “gay” remark, is the fact that he has no idea what he’s talking about. On any of the videos. It’s pretty hilarious how off base he is. I’m not even talking about the metal video anymore. Not that it wasn’t bad enough. Seriously, fuck him for putting his opinion out there when he thinks a genre that started over 40 years ago, started 30 years ago. Clearly he did no research and doesn’t really care about what he’s talking about. He just wants to run his mouth. That’s it. He’s too busy ragging on other religions and being hateful to even realize half of what he says. But think’s it’s all 100% correct. Which makes me laugh even more.

    Now, I notice comments are starting to pop up in the child’s defense. I knew this was gonna’ happen. There’s always someone with a bleeding heart. Fuck all that. If this kid went to school with anybodies children, I’m sure a large majority would probably think he’s a total idiot and walk away from him or beat his ass cos he deserves it. But, eventually someone is going to listen. I don’t yet have children, but I can tell you if I did this is the last person I would want my child consorting with. It’s close mindedness and a complete lack of knowledge not to mention, brainwashing. Think I’m totally wrong? Go check out the videos. He’s got little friends in a lot of them. Spewing the same hateful bullshit. We talk so much about how awful it is that terrorists are raised from birth to kill and hate when its obvious, this is social terrorism. We’ve digressed so far as a society that people are trying to make up excuses for this little bastard.

    Point the fingers at the parents all you want. They aren’t the one’s with video’s up on YouTube that have me disgusted right now. Sure, I’m not saying that they aren’t the one’s to blame for this monstrosity. But I don’t think they held him up with a gun and forced him to do any of this. He’s probably taking every little thing that’s said around his house, and repeating it on camera.

    This kid is way too big for his britches and is pissing people off all over the internet. The topics he’s trying to tackle are too far over his head. Which will become dangerous for him eventually. Someone please, take his camera away. No more brain dead psalms. There’s already 1 FoxNews and that’s bad enough. The last thing we need is one of their foot soldiers children spreading a dead message. I thought this video was gonna’ make me laugh, which it did, but in the long run- -this kid is waaaay too much for me.

    • Jonathan

      Even though I disagreed with you yesterday…
      This IS the part of religion that is flawed, yes. And other than your complete hostility towards him, I completely agree that kids like this need to learn to shut up, listen, do research, and THEN choose what to believe.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

      *sigh*
      It’s not religion, it’s society. It’s his culture. Sure, his (misguided) beliefs are a heavy influence on his ignorance, but it’s not rested solely in his spiritual beliefs. His influencer’s ignorance goes way above and beyond spiritual delusion.

      Believe me, I live in an area where many, many people didn’t vote for Obama based on having issues with skin tone. Openly had issues. There’s no spiritual basis for that, it’s entirely social.

  • Ryan

    Lets take Brain Drill round to his house and watch in glee as his face melts off into a puddle of misinformed tripe

  • Ryan

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARygijeSDNs&feature=related

    if the fact of him being a musically ill-gotten fool was in question, here’s the proof. I last all of 5 seconds before I blew my brains out

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Larscheid/1420710515 Matthew Larscheid

    I’m pretty sure I almost died of laughter. This kid is a fuck stain that everyone probably makes fun of at school, and his only way to be somewhat cool is to make retarded videos such as this one.

  • Random

    OMG AT CONCERTS METAL BANDS SWEAR? I WAS NOT INFORMED, TIME TO CHANGE MY MUSICAL TASTE.

  • cgrind

    @2:59–”That was why metal sucks” Terrible grammar, but subliminal shout-out to the best site ever!

  • Mike W

    This kid needs to get raped by his catholic priest

  • http://www.myspace.com/mechanicsofmalice Shredhed99

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Ya know, as much as I wanna see this kid swan dive into a wood chipper, I honestly feel sorry for the little guy. I mean, really. I’d find it more necessary to bitchslap his old man & lady for taking the kid’s brain and running it through the “god-squad community car-wash” and then allowing him to preach like this.

    I certainly concur with “Perpetual Black” up there. THIS IS RELIGION, and the close minded effects are certainly evident upon listening to his pathetic rant, wrought with ignorant opinions, and completely lacking in any material that could pose an argument of any form other than “it’s stupid and satanic”.

    However, I don’t feel there’s any one side to point fingers at. The parents have completely fucked this kid’s mind sideways. And the kid should have the common sense as a human being to not be so biased and easily persuaded by the virulent effects of having a bible shoved down your throat for breakfast every day. With a miracle or two, hopefully he’ll look back on all these videos of his, when he’s “grown-up” (using that term loosly), and realize how much of a full blown douche he was and how much everybody hates him for it.

    I could care less either way. It’s certainly not going to keep me from going home tonight and running around in my underwear, drunk, with “2 minutes to midnight” cranked up to max volume.

    -Cheers
    \m/ \m/

  • hater_guy

    he must be from Salt Lake City. Who found this unseen footage of Clay Aiken?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Long/100000144612811 Mike Long

    the funniest thing is that he groups Metal and Punk together

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    This Anal Wart even has christians saying he’s wrong and dumb for his statements, lol.

  • metalguy

    “AND FREAKING ITUNES. NOT ITUNES, NEVER ITUNES.”
    i laughed so hard, can this be our new meme?

  • Izzay E

    Didn’t Hetfield give his life to Jesus?? Hahah, how satanic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trip-Cahouet/706361037 Trip Cahouet

    Is this kid a Juggalo?

  • Daniel N.

    Please get this kid to write on this site!!!

    Let him do album reviews. Give him Meshuggah or Watain’s latest.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Marisa/100001193947026 Amanda Marisa

    hey kid,youre a piece of shit

  • Ignignort

    It’s just some kid that goes to church. Why is this even a post?

  • hikizume

    I take confort in knowing that this is going to follow him to his grave, and hopefully he has a very long and healty life ahead of him

  • Pahkmycah

    I smell a troll.

    Well played.

  • this is me

    I made it like a minute in before I wanted to punch the kids face in.

  • SourDeez

    I would comment on this, but I have virgins to sacrifice, drugs to snort, bibles to burn, and Satan to hail.

  • Dubs

    at 0:35 he’s “turd that it’s gay and satanic.”

  • coylay

    Tell me I’m a sinner I got news for you
    I spoke to God this morning and he don’t like you!!!!!

  • XariaK

    Ha hes clearly reading from a que card or something of that sort. I personally think its juss a joke put on by someone who actually does like metal

  • You Don’t Know Me

    *sigh* If this is not an act, this kid is proof that stupid people breed in large numbers. God forbid if he did any research on the genre. He sounds like every person I went to high school with. “That metal stuff is stupid and Satanic.” Yeah, because pop and rap music is just FILLED with positive role models these days. I could go on and on but quite frankly, as Axl put it, he’s young and ignorant. He’ll learn eventually.

  • Dirtman73

    I wan to track down this poor kid’s parents and smack them both across the face. Religious indoctrination is a complete abomination when it involves humans too young to think for themselves.

    He’s either going to grow up to be a loud-mouthed Xtian tool or a serial killer.

  • hater_guy

    i’m surprised he didn’t explain how magnets really work.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ben-Alexander/1092891172 Ben Alexander

      Fuckin’ puberty, how does it work?

    • Monkey Knife Fight

      Fuck yes. Tick.

  • ITTOA666

    God isn’t real.

    • Monkey Knife Fight

      Neither is this kid

  • guey

    “Only retards still use the word “gay” as a derogatory word.”

    Did you mention this to Mr. Cavalera when you (Metal sucks) interviewed him?? Probably not, because he is right…

  • Mars Bar

    Fuck church burnings troo Satanist download songs off Itunes.

  • triptykon!!!

    Funny, when I was his age I thought Metallica was Satantic too. Except that made them way cooler in my book.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

    I think we need to get “Lamb of God” to do his next birthday party >:)

  • Arby

    I can’t wait to see the old guys who sound like oap tonight in Albuquerque!! Goddamn satanists and their itunes!
    I wish i knew more about metal than this fuckin kid! eh?

    • Izzay E

      I’ll be there too! Hahah.

  • Bramfatura

    He’s way to young to be anything buy sincere, unless an adult is telling him everything to say. Look at his channel, though – those tears on the ‘drugs r bad’ video seem hella real to me.

    Of course, my alternative theory is that he’s actually a 40 year old man with some sort of extreme glandular problem.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Deven-Marie-Laney/674055234 Deven Marie Laney

    I’m not going to bother watching this because I hate fucking kids.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shaman-Phair/555766212 Shaman Phair

    Poor little guy :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeremy-Sanchez/512283152 Jeremy Sanchez

    2:59 He says “metal sucks?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Pryde/1563529540 Andrew Pryde

    “they need to put more gospel and pop on itunes”. wow….
    and he said it’s hateful and disgusting when he used the word ‘gay’ as a derogatory word. and he’s being hateful and disgusting….I feel sorry for this brainwashed kid…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Pryde/1563529540 Andrew Pryde

    and lol about the itunes thing…don’t most metalheads like vinyl more anyway?

  • ShaneBlade

    “He uses the word “gay” as a derogatory word. Speaking as someone who used to have that terrible habit, I feel qualified to say: It’s 2010. Only retards still use the word “gay” as a derogatory word.”

    amen!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Zach-Kasen/1170123218 Zach Kasen

    Wow, Clay Aiken’s kid sure grew up quickly. Wonder when he’ll find out his own dad is homosexual.

  • Monkey Knife Fight

    Look. Give the kid a break. Clearly Sasquatch has got his x-box and is playing Halo 3, so he’s got nothing better to do than rag on Metal.
    I mean, what a dweeb. Who gets on the internet to post their opinions about stuff they know nothing about….
    oooo
    ….crap.
    THAT KID IS ALL OF US! Save me Sasquatch, save me!

  • meat mincing machine

    youre gay

  • Wilson

    This is sad

  • SonOF

    A super-strict religious upbringing creates close-minded, hateful children? I never would have thought… :/

    I was always wondered, “What kind of people grow up to want to be affiliated with the Westboro Baptist Church?” It’s these kind of turds. They are trying to spread their propaganda and hate before they reach puberty.

    I think it is somewhat harsh that so many people rip on these children on the YouTube comments, but don’t these kids know how the internet works? Or more importantly, don’t their parents warn them about making inflammatory videos on public forums? I’d guess not. Their parents are probably saying things like, “Keep preaching the word of the lord..don’t let those jews, coloreds and homos bring you down.”

  • Holy Diver

    It’s 2010 so….. I’m pretty sure metal wasn’t started in 1980

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lance-Zeran/100000142665110 Lance Zeran

    YOU AIN’T GOT NO PANCAKES BITCH!