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PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A COPY OF THE METALLICA BIOGRAPHY ENTER NIGHT

 Friday, May 20th, 2011 at 4:00pm by

Last week we gave away a prize pack from Blackfield, the collaboration between Steven Wilson (Porcupine Tree) and Israeli superstar Aviv Geffen. Funny story: reader Alejandro Martinez emailed us to say that last week’s photo was of him! That’s Alejandro on Halloween 10 years ago with his mom and sister. Needless to say, Alejandro got some friendly joshing from his co-workers when this photo hit the interwebs. Here’s last week’s grand prize winner and runner-up, in that order:

  • wha?: “Fuck, marry, kill.”
  • metallicbrian: “Eurmomymous.”

This week we’re giving away THREE copies of the new Mick Wall-penned Metallica biography Enter Night. The book promises to be the definitive Metallica biography that’s “the closest fans will get to the truth,” so you won’t want to miss this one. To enter, leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (sent to me by Axl!). Remember to use a real email address (or post it with your comment if you’re using FB Connect).

[photo has been taken down via copyright holder request - sorry! -Ed., 5/23/11]

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  • Wowwee!!

    The future managers of Poppys Burgers n Fries Hut (located right behind em)

    • Jester

      one and done.

  • Ebony Sorrow

    You think this whole is big, you should see my girlfriends pussy, only a really loose chick would sleep with someone like me!

    • grammar nazi

      Wrong “hole” retard

  • Austin Milbarge

    Do you think they shared a straw and gazed into each other’s hoops when they drank that shake?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tyler-Tornari/100002054363802 Tyler Tornari

      1

  • im feeling cunty

    we’re feeling cunty

  • Buttermoth

    The Gauges represent what size dick their willing to handle.

    • Ignorant African

      Gauges are for tires.

  • trence75

    Earnuffz z nuff

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cory-John-William-Kamermans/505609811 Cory John William Kamermans

    Bigger guage to smaller guage – “so what do you think we’ll look like if we reach the age of 80?”

  • trence75

    I get lost when I stare into your ears

  • Etzell

    The tools abide, man.

  • Faulty

    Mallcore is my life.

  • Gab3

    Core eye for the queer guy.

  • Sacajawea

    I bet they like to dip their ears in bubble soultion and blow on each other.

  • CJ

    Even Converge fans need to find love somewhere.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tanner-Cooper/1846335619 Tanner Cooper

      Cold as Ice.. hahaha

  • Nyjah wilson

    ” The next thing on our to do list is try to fist our gauges “

  • Rusty McThulhu

    Trent and Trevor broke up shortly after this photo was taken, as Trevor couldn’t be with someone who wears his faith on his sleeve.

  • lost goat

    young twink couple enjoying a meal before the Thuithide Thilence concert

    its pretty funny how these days having shitloads of tattoos and gauges gets you looked at like a dumbass instead of a freak

  • http://gnartallica.wordpress.com Ross Gnarly

    After completing their new music video, members of Design The Skyline sat down for some fries and shakes.

  • Municipal Waste

    trying too hard

  • Roast Geef

    If you think these are wide, you should see the holes we’re sitting on.

  • Blood Hungry

    Their audition to join In This Moment didn’t go so well, so they decided to drown their pain in some chocolate shakes.

  • Sacajawea

    The only two Crazy Town fans left.

  • XbdgrkdX

    As soon as Gary’s custom “Basket Plugs” were finished, his french fry transportation system would give him the snacking freedom he’d been dreaming of.

  • http://www.schenkeltown.com SchenkelTown

    french fry core. ketch-up!

  • ivystreetshark

    Can’t believe you copied me and got a Vanilla Shake….embarassing!

  • DevoidofTruth

    “When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.” guess which one they are.

  • Pastor of Muppets

    “Hey Paisanos! It’s the Super Metalcore Brothers Super Show!”

  • GUTH

    which one is Travis Barker again?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Medwin/512603064 Matt Medwin

    onion rings go in your mouth, not in your ears.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steven-Stamopoulos/575083326 Steven Stamopoulos

      haha, too good

  • David B.

    Emmure’s back up plan perhaps?

  • Chief

    The new Blink-182 album comes in three fun sizes! Magnum, Regular, and French Fry.

  • Bill

    And just signed to Victory records…

  • Sambo

    That’s funny how you took this picture. That’s Ricky Hoover of Suffokate just so that people know. I actually like that band.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vince-Decker/100002225040320 Vince Decker

      wow i didnt even recognize him!! at shows he looks so mean and tough like hes gonna break a face. so this is how he looks when hes not putting on the facade.

  • The Rooktrocity

    Look at this fucking love connection.

  • Tr00Metal

    I’m too sexy for this slam.

  • yzermantiis

    Bring Me The Horfrieson

  • Miles Boger

    its hard to gauge who’s a bigger douchebag

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vince-Decker/100002225040320 Vince Decker

      holy shit we have a winner. Gold!!!!!! pure fucking gold

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colin-OConnor/1491245262 Colin O’Connor

      Nice!

  • lost goat

    winds of plug

  • Goatmetal

    You know what they say about guy’s with huge ear lobe holes!

  • Kuranes

    They didn’t tattoo their faces because they didn’t want to jeopardize their chances of getting good jobs when they grow up.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vince-Decker/100002225040320 Vince Decker

      i do rather like this too. well played, sir.

  • RandomGuitarist

    Suffokate…these guys.

  • http://headmarketingstrategies.com/ Headnuts

    Charlie Sheen is WINNING, sadly these two are LOSING.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

      -1 for Charlie Sheen reference.

  • Dragthwaters666

    Welcome to the Hot Topic pitch-in.

  • Pete

    Yes, we are both vegan. And straight edge. Why do you ask?

  • http://misterbooze.blogspot.com Mister Booze

    Full sleeve tattoos: $1,800
    Sick gauges: $200
    Knowing that you’ll spend the rest of your life working in that there foodcourt: Priceless

    • PrEtTyLuSh05

      +1,000,000 internets

  • Cameron Almasi

    Hey suffokate’s on tour again! Hitting each city 1 gauge at a time

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Delarosa/569469815 Jonathan Delarosa

    “And it’s a hole in one!”

    metropolis342@gmail.com

  • Josh

    A7X downtime.

  • Dude (Not “the Dude”)

    Milli Vanilla

  • William Johnson

    birds of a feather fuck together.

  • Jim

    We’re totally gonna win that costume contest! Dressing up like Massengil and Summer’s Eve was a total stroke of genius.

  • Chainsaw Majini

    Jiffy Lube’s annual company get-together.

  • hater_guy

    You even make a tiny religious caps look sexy.

    slader6@hotmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nale-Dixon/592137871 Nale Dixon

    Our band’s called Gage the Ears, he plays breakdowns, I scream heartbreak.

    nelsenryan@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Kidwell/38210651 Mike Kidwell

    What’s that you say? You’re NOT surprised we both aren’t at work at 2:00 on a weekday?

  • Mooseknuckle

    Guess how many dicks I can fit through my gauges?

  • McHammered

    Ear plugs $50.00

    Body Sleeve $5000.00

    ASSHOLES for life PRICELESS

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dean-Cowles/1657411509 Dean Cowles

    Blow me… a bubble with your ears.

    dcow00@gmail.com

  • spagoo

    ” we will never be like everyone else”(right)” did you get the hot topic gauge coupon too!”

  • EJ666

    The only thing straight about these two is their edge.

  • jondabudz

    Isnt that the guy from suffokate with his boyfriend? Idk man theyre from the bay area you never know.

  • ColinJ

    Douche Transformation: 80% Complete…

    • Bill Wasserman

      Correction…Douce Transformation 100% complete!

  • Brock Sterns

    Jane Doe goes John Dory

  • H

    holy shits

  • Sacajawea

    Not a caption, just noticing some odd things here:

    1. A wine glass at what appears to be a fast food joint?

    2. If you look through the ear-hole of the guy on the left you can clearly see that the back of his neck appears to stick out further than his ear. Is it photoshopped or is someone in the background wearing a shirt that is very similar to his tattoo design?

    I’m spending WAY too much time analyzing this picture.

  • Nic

    “I swear to god, if that waitress makes that “do you want onion rings? Oh wait you’ve got them” I’m never coming here again.”

    • Nic

      *makes that______ remark again..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dave-Colbert/535041444 Dave Colbert

    Mine are bigger than yours.

    Cryptosis77@aol.com

  • Wayne Donovan

    “Mine’s bigger than yours!”

  • Etzell

    Igaugedanearonce

  • A2James

    Doublemint gum decided to market to the emo demographic

  • Puke Pile

    Happy Halloween!

  • TATT2BASS

    ¡Ay, caramba!

  • Jamotallica

    They had to get bigger gages because they heard that ear sex was the best way to go

  • Topher T.

    Holy Shit, Look! It’s 1:49, we’re going to be late for our tattoo appointment!

  • Daniel

    Now and Then 2 The “core” Edition.

  • Matty K

    It Fries Today.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dustin-Wildcard-Koetsch/1096220255 Dustin Wildcard Koetsch

    godammit, its hard to comment on this because i know ricky and toured with him and hes a nice dude.
    but….
    honey i blew out my gauges.

  • Belowill

    Twat did you say? I cunt hear you, I have an ear infucktion.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nick-Patton/100000118933417 Nick Patton

    Suffokate is gr8 d00d

  • Jim Heine

    “Betcha can’t guess which one of them is a girl? You’re right! Neither of them are! That’s not even the scariest part…”

  • Sylvester

    If we pull the rings, will y’all just explode and go away?

  • http://Zaphod Larry Patin

    “And, check this out… if we hold our arms together just right – there’s a hidden picture of Willie Nelson with a mohawk – kinda like folding up the last page of a Mad Magazine!”

    or

    “What do you mean by, ‘What are we supposed to be?’, these aren’t costumes, dude. You wan’t some ketchup with your fries? Fuck!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Bransfield/1601222159 Dan Bransfield

    Don’t you just want to stick your finger in their gauge and just fucking yank?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Bransfield/1601222159 Dan Bransfield

    We’re life partners, these are our rings.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Pat-Arriola/100002131340820 Pat Arriola

    Escape The Date

  • deathray76

    WONDER TWIN POWERS…ACTIVATE! …form of matching toolbags!

  • John

    “Sista….Sistaaa!!!! Neva knew how much i missed yaaaa!!!

    (For the youngins this is a verse from an old TV show called Sister, Sister, with Tia and Tamera Mowery)

  • jason

    lol, suffokate. that’s my caption, nothing else needs to be said.

  • josh

    the new cast of Daisy of Love

  • Joe LaForm

    1.Agent Double Douche and his sidekick Even More of a Douche

    2. I like when Todd puts his balls in my ear hol

    3. We are taking a break from Tilt-A-Whirl at the county fair

    4. We are in a contest to see who can’t get laid longer

    5. We were having a bite before we went home to shave each other’s assholes.

  • Joe LaForm

    We were gonna get jobs and become productive members of society,but we forgot

  • http://jeffdaniels80@gmail.com eat5hitup

    okcupid success!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amir-Hossein-Sarrafian/1227735670 Amir Hossein Sarrafian

    Who needs 5 Guys?

  • amelia

    The new faces of Black Tide.

  • Kelley

    “I spy with my little eye an old man through your ear hole.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brad-Paakkonen/740511947 Brad Paakkonen

    I still can’t believe we got kicked out of Attack Attack! and Design the Skyline

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Cunningham/100000167213200 Brandon Cunningham

    Yeah our main influences are Suffokate, Miss May I, and Walt Disney’s “Dumbo”.

    metallicabmc@gmail.com

  • BigDan

    Sergeant D?

  • Certis

    Cunts

  • thebuck

    …the devastating effects of ‘Sceneroids’…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Schwartz/1335360433 Ryan Schwartz

    “That’s right BRO, it can fit the WHOLE THING!”

  • Lars

    My bitches

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

    We are such non-conformists. No, really. We are…

  • skullsession

    Ian MacKaye silently weeps for his decision in bringing the wooly beanie to hardcore fashion….

  • dr. doomdrummer

    As original as the music they play.

  • Annaleigh Dai

    Seriously bro, have you considered accepting jesus christ as your lord and savior?

  • sliv

    When he fist fucked my gauges, I just new he was the one.

    • sliv

      fuck *knew

  • ryan d.

    FUCK’N DEATHCORE

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Anderson/1583225469 Mark Anderson

    “You think your Mom will care if I sleep over tonight?”

  • Joe LaForm

    You never go ass to ear…

  • SkvllFvk

    Its a gloryhole when your on the go

  • Puke Pile

    eharmony strikes again!

    • Sacajawea

      I think you mean Earharmony

  • brodey

    The shape of hipsters to come

  • adam

    dude….isnt that ricky from SUFFOKATE?
    Why’s my nose so itchy?
    Must be all the sweet nose candy.
    And, i was like “emilio!!!!!!!!”

  • DayDayMOT

    Lead singer of deathcore band Suffokate and Random christcore lover? I SMELL DEATHCORE SITCOM! DEATHCOM!

  • Sami

    It’s like Hot Topic took a shit and these two assholes came out. At least it was in time for Halloween cuz they do look like jokes.

    (btw are they in Johnny Rockets? Please not in NY….I hope to never actually see them)

  • rickysuffokate

    you gonna keep deleting my comments metal sucks? bring on the shit talking ill enjoy it while i tour the world playing music

    • Backed

      So many retards talking shit. haha

    • chumbawumba

      he mad.

  • douchetouche

    Hi, is this where we audition for Blink 182?

  • Joe LaForm

    Don’t worry Ricky. Most of us will pay attention to you even less in 6 months than we do now

  • Joe LaForm

    One last one: 9 out of 10 people who avoid Hot Topic would agree that these two are the leading cause of Douche Chills.

  • leelee

    One time, Travis Barker won second place in a Travis Barker look-a-like contest.

  • Wildman

    Man, you fucked up the time machine.

  • dman777

    Since the death of Heath Ledger, they have scrambled to properly sign for the sequel…but I think they have found it….Gents I give you:

    Breakdown Mountain

  • Alex

    You can definently which one has the black boyfriend.

    • Frotch

      hahahahahahaha YES!

  • hosscatjosh

    Ketchup covered french fries, ice water, and tattoo appointments make for the perfect day before the crabcore/scenecore mania that happens at the secret MySpace show at this bands local Hot Topic.

  • Sam

    Spot The Difference

    my_trusty_socks@hotmail.com

  • rickysuffokate

    hahahah yeah while you all live uneventful lives and i get to see and go everywhere in the world like i have been for the last 3 years. dont worry those of you who play less attention to me and my band will be replaced by hundreds more :) either way i win. got a problem come to a show and take it up with me :)

    • deathray76

      …or at your local foodcourt.

    • Jim Heine

      Ricky, your music is so terrible that I consider it a bargin that I’m not you playing shitty deathcore in front of hundreds of meth-addicted jiffy lube employees who had to drop out of the 8th Grade to take care of their children.

      • rickysuffokate

        come to a show :) see whats up

    • dudebro

      im on your side bro ha the rest of these dudes can fuck off.

  • subversive1

    Right Said Fred decide to expand into Portal themed jewelry…

  • trence75

    todd and ricky console each other with a big basket of ketchup and taters mere moments after being fired for stealing shower curtain rings from their job at bed bath and beyond .

  • Seb

    Thankfully for their illustrious careers as face models, Chaz and Skylar made the reasonable decision not to overdo it with tattoos and piercings.

  • Marsh

    Suiside SileN’SYNC

  • Hunter Remington

    So this is what a business lunch on the All-Stars tour is all about.

  • Flack

    “Those tattoos really tie the room together, Donnie.”

  • bryce baldwin

    Come on broh, join our frat: Tatta, Tanka, Cappa.

  • sonas76

    “You loved ‘Henry & Glenn 4ever’, now, NEW from Igloo Tornado, ‘Todd & Ricky TLA’…OUT NOW!”

    sonas76@ptd.net

  • dudebro

    who cares wat they look like?

  • RIFNocOne

    This is your brain on deathcore.