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The Definitive Heavy Metal Holiday Gift Guide for 2015

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I LOVE buying people gifts and I am quite good at it, if I do say so myself! Vince read that Japanese tidying book and now he is making us get rid of most of our possessions, so I can’t really shower him in gifts like I’m used to because they will end up at Goodwill/on our street corner within the week. He’ll say something like “Do we really need this gold Lamb of God wine decanter??” or “We never use this Mastadon cutlery set!” and out it goes, freeing up yet more space in our progressively emptier apartment! So instead of buying these things for him, I will tell you about them and you can clutter your own home in my honor.

There are a two genres of gifts I especially love: drinking accessories and cozy wintry items.

Here are some nice bottle openers…

For the Mexican wrestling fan:

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For the “metal maiden” in your life:

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For the guitar-player on the go:

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Or a heavy wall-mounted one! Great for the busy host!

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The holidays are a lot about drinking on-the-go so here are some cool flasks:

Keep it classy with this sweet flannel flask

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…or keep it death-oriented with the man himself playing you your final tune

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…or just go simple and British with this lovely leather one:

195391-057-0387-001900002Vince LOVES drinking red wine out of his 3 inches of blood metal chalice, and it always gives our dinner guests a good laugh. Why not enjoy a set of your own?

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Or go stemless:

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Go ahead and fill that glass with Warrant Red or Ratt and Roll

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…or some Reign in Blood wine packaged conveniently in a Slayer coffin!

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Or go crazy and fill it with the official liquor of the metal community with this handy gift pack:

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If you’re on the East Coast, there are so many ways to get cozy for this long winter ahead. If you’re not, I don’t really understand how winter works but I have to assume that you like getting snuggly regardless!

An artist named Ben Venom makes beautiful heavy metal quilts. From what I could gather, they aren’t for sale in the traditional sense, but you should still check them out. The closest equivalent I could find is on Etsy:

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Speaking of COZY, this adorable item is also on Etsy:

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And this:

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Etsy is a crazy wonderland of anything you ever imagine. Like where else could one get this kitschy little item?

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Have you guys noticed skulls are very trendy lately? Every designer and their intern is putting them on everything from cashmere earmuffs to silk ascots. It’s probably annoying to you (“I liked skulls before they were cool!”), but why not take this opportunity to take advantage of this trend that was once yours alone? Stock up on some fancy skull shit before it’s out of fashion and its just metalheads loving skulls once again.

So much warm skull merchandise to choose from this holiday season!

Skull slippers:

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Nice tiny-skull boxers:

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Fancy skull cashmere blanket:

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Less-fancy skull blanket:

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Cozy ski-patterned-but-secretly-skull-patterned pajama pants:

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Skull scarf and gloves, anyone?

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Are you trying to impress your lady friend and maybe have some dough in the bank? Then try these:

I’ve always thought these earrings were kind of metal, but in a subtle and beautiful way.

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If that’s too subtle for you, go a little harder with these pretty little skull studs:

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Or WOW with these:

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Babies and kids love gifts, too! Before our baby came, we were betting if we would get more Mets stuff or more metal stuff. We got a lot of both, but I ended up loving the metal-y baby stuff. Turns our infants look GREAT in black (and grey)! 

For the metal baby in your life…

Bibs are SO useful:

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And what little one wouldn’t look cute in a horns onesie?

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Or just look around here a bit.

Get that babe started on his or her musical passions early with these nice sets:

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Or, if your child/niece/nephew/little bff is a bit older, how about this very cool kid’s guitar to get your young one started?

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Hope you found something for your loved ones! if not, may I suggest a Spotify subscription, concert tickets, a vacation, or just a nice dinner! Sometimes the best gifts are the ones that take up no space in your home, but take up plenty in your heart and your memories! A very happy holiday my friends!

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