MetalSucks

Let’s cut to the chase: the winner to last week’s funny photo caption contest, hands down, is this golden comment submitted by “(required)”:

As bad as he is at stealing band names, Dino proves to be even worse at stealing second base. This can be at least partially blamed on the distracting reminder of his favorite meal, strategically placed on the pitcher’s shirt.

For his/her wit, “(required)” wins a big package of CDs from Earache Records. This week the good folks at Relapse Records are providing us with two prize packages, each containing the latest CDs by MetalSucks approved bands Man Must Die and Howl. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo, and they’re yours. If you’ve been following the past several weeks of funny photo caption contests (last week excepted), this fine young chap should look familiar…

Straight out of the heavy music mecca that is Providence, Rhode Island, Howl kick so much ass that it’s not really funny but actually rather serious on account of the aforementioned painful ass kickings. Relapse recently released the band’s self-titled three-song EP, which is streaming at Howl’s MySpace and available to purchase here They’re heavy, unpretentious, and not easily pigeonholed into any one of the bandied about subgenres in this grand thing we call metal. I’ll leave it to the opinionated chicken-chokers that make it their lives’ work to define metal in our comments section, but I’d say if the adjective “sludgy” sounds appealing then you’re going to want to get in on the ground floor with Howl before they’re headlining bigger venues.

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After the antics of the first day of the festival, I felt more than ready to get into day two with a healthy dose of music from the beginning. Unfortunately, that was not to be so for me, as at the time I thought I would be continuing on after SXSW into further ridonkulousness, all the way to a family vacation during Spring Break in Mexico….and today was the day that my renewed passport was meant to be FedExed to the flophouse where Vince and I were crashing.

When I had returned to said flophouse the night prior and to my surprise found an open couch in the living room right by the front door (where I was told FedEx homeboy would appear bright and early), I figured it prolly made the most sense to sleep right there on the ground floor as opposed to the stank upstairs sweat lodge where I would be sure to miss any sounds of door knocking.

Sadly, no FedEx arrived in the morning as promised — I was actually awoken by a phone call from Vince around noon wondering where the hell I had ended up last night. After a couple more hours my passport finally arrived, at which point I had to wait at least another hour for a cab to take me down to the action.

HOLY SHIT.

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