MetalSucks

Before I begin telling you this story, I need to give you some background.

Lita Ford is married to Jim Gillette, a.k.a. “that dude from Nitro who could supposedly break glass with his vocals.”

Lita used to look like this:

And Jim used to look like this:

And now they look like this:

With me so far? M’kay, good.

So. Recently this married couple decided to make love (burrr… even writing that phrase ironically gives me douche chills). That’s fine. That’s their right. I hope all married couples enjoy sex well into old age.

But I also hope most of them don’t tweet vivid descriptions of what ensued, as Lita Ford apparently did. Read her tweets after the jump, courtesy Sleaze Roxx:

Click to read more…

Our friend and 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far contributor Carlos Ramirez of Noisecreep has compiled yet another useless list so you all can argue, flame, and make snap-judgments on each others’ lifestyles and values (aka another day in the MetalSucks Haterade Mafia) based on musical tastes. Today’s list du-jour harks back to a time when high-pitched singers were all the rage and picks the best of that era. Though the list doesn’t actually bother to classify the top ten high-pitched singers of all-time in order, the fact that OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE _____ ISN’T ON THIS LIST should be plenty for ya’ll to get all hot and bothered about. If you ask us, Nitro’s Jim Gillette’s inclusion on this list is all that matters.

-VN

1. His refusal to acknowledge that it’s 2008.
2. The reverse-mullet hairstyle (see #1).
3. His Michael Jackson “Bad”-era clothes (see #1).
4. The fact that the guitar player for perpetual laughing-stocks (but nevertheless awesome!) Nitro has defied all odds and managed to carve out a career for himself that’s still going 20 some-odd years later.
5. The fact that he has five amplifiers on stage… for himself.
6. The “over-under” technique (see the 3:25 mark).
7. The double-neck (formerly quadruple-neck) guitar.
8. The facial expressions and rock star poses.
9. The fact that he’s still the sickest shredder both sides of the Miss’sipp.
10. Everything about the guy.
11. Etc.
12. THIS:

Speed Lives 2, the DVD featuring Michael Angelo Batio’s live performance in Simi Valley, California on July 9 of this year, comes out today. You need it. Don’t front.

-VN

And thankfully, Sergeant D of MetalInquisition is inclined to agree:

Let’s be perfectly clear: If you don’t like Nitro, you’re not my fucking friend. Obviously Nitro are completely ridiculous, but I 100% non-ironically love this band as Skullkrusher and Lucho Metales [other MI writers] can attest to. They had the biggest hair, the highest screams, the fastest solos, and the sickest riffs. I can listen to “OFR” a million times in a row. Also, the liner notes and lyrics are priceless, like the note that admonishes “DRUGZ R 4 DUMBFUKKS, DON’T BE A DUMBFUKK.” Everything about the band is totally absurd, but their songwriting is fucking awesome and the retarded lyrics just make me love them that much more.

Perfectly said, Mr. D. For similar non-guilty pleasure missives on the likes of Vinnie Vincent Invasion, Ugly Kid Joe (complete with baja jackets!), Tuff, and Pretty Boy Floyd, pay the cats at MetalInquisition a visit.

In the meantime, enjoy the video for Nitro’s “Freight Train:”

-VN

By popular demand — inspired by the one, the only, Jon Becker — our MetalSucks tribute to ex-Nitro singer Jim Gillette, he of the wine-glass shattering vocal high notes. We’ve trawled the bowels of YouTube to come up with the best home-filmed Jim Gillette imitations out there and we’ve compiled them into one handy-dandy post. What follows is Exhibit A in Internet awesomeness.

First, the original, Jim Gillette. After the jump… his devotees.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/bH5gmbugmxM" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Click to read more…

We’re huge fans of Michael Angelo Batio / Nitro here at MetalSucks. Seriously. No dude is more metal. That over/under technique gives us a major stiffy. So naturally we got a bit aroused when the indubitable Metal Inquisition posted the following:

Michael Angelo Batio from Nitro has to be one of the few people who actually looked better during the height of the glam 80’s than he does now.

1. How do you even ask for a haircut like this? Do you ask to look like a Muppet?

2. His shirt with unnecessary buckles is rather impressive as well.

3. Love the sky-like backdrop curtain. Tasteful.

The truest words ever spoken = A+ journalism. Nice job, guys.

-VN