MetalSucks

Vince is in Kentucky scouting land for a SECOND MetalSucks Mansion and against the advice of Gary Suarez and my own instincts, I’m off to see Terminator Salvation. We shan’t be posting Monday ’cause it’s Memorial Day, but we’ll be back Tuesday. In the meantime, here’s some shit that happened this week:

• We did a video interview with IWRESTLEDABEARONCE! We also spoke with The Haunted’s Peter Dolving, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle, and Unholy.
• We stole Daath’s Eyal Levi away from Headbanger’s Blog.
• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima graced us with another totally excellent studio blog.
• Corey Mitchell says this is the best album of the year so far.
• Fuckface Durst finally went too far.

As Baz would say, “I’ll be Bach.”

-AR

I should’ve known that my interview with The Haunted’s Peter Dolving would come off as more of an armchair philosophy session than a by-the-numbers band interview. But that’s where I was hoping the interview would go, and that’s where it went. Dolving is your atypical metal frontman, as anyone who reads his blogs on the regular should be able to infer. Dolving was thoughtful, measured and articulate in his thought, pausing frequently to make sure the words he uttered carried the meaning he intended, and was anything but the macho metal man you might expect if your only exposure was seeing him perform on stage with The Haunted.

Dolving sure had a lot to say. He spoke about why touring musicians are inherently dysfunctional, what he did while the brothers Bjorler toured with the reunited At the Gates (”Cried a lot… I really did spend a lot of time last summer in a little crawled up package whimpering with a lot of snot involved.”), what it was like for him to go through therapy, what he hopes to accomplish via his controversial writing, the interactive nature of the Internet and how that affects communication, the haters on Blabbermouth (”… there is so much ignorance involved in the internet community.”), and the difference between having knowledge and being smart. Like I said, a philosophy session.

I’d eaten a “special” cookie a couple of hours before the interview that took a while to kick in, and I was kind of worried I wouldn’t be able to hold it together… but I think I pulled it off. This was the interview I was most looking forward to at the festival, and I’m quite happy with the results. Read our whole chat, after the jump.

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Seriously. Ever since Metal Hammer gave us that Web of Death thing, I’ve been knee-deep in pussy. Incredible. It’s amazing that I’m even able to type right now, I’m so worn out. And that’s why you start a website. For the groupies.

Which brings me to my next point: now that we’re famous, we don’t want to be friends with you anymore. Don’t take it personally, we just prefer to rub elbows with other fabulous, famous people. You were great on the way up, but now? Fuck you. M’kay?

Here’s what else went down this week:

• We spoke with Lacuna Coil’s Christina Scabbia, and managed to get through it without embarrassing ourselves too badly.
• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima wrote another awesome guest blog from the studio, begging the question: is Dr. Mikannibal’s diet hot or not?
• The Haunted’s Peter Dolving lashed out against Lamb of God; you lashed out against Peter Dolving.
• NEW CONVERGE SONGS! NEW CONVERGE SONGS! NEW CONVERGE SONGS!
• Someone actually played IWRESTLEDABEARONCE’S “Tastes like Kevin Bacon” for Kevin fucking Bacon.
• How many Andrew WKs are there, anyway?

Alright. I’ve got like ten girls clawing at me right now, beckoning me back to bed. I’ll see you Monday, if they’ll give me a rest, already.

-AR

Dallas may be laying off the haterade as of late, but thankfully Peter Dolving is always there in a pinch to take a big, giant swig of the Internet’s favorite, venomous beverage. In his latest rant sent to us in a press release, The Haunted frontman tells you why you should come see his band on their MetalSucks-sponsored North American tour (also featuring Merauder and The Agonist), and takes a swipe at Lamb of God as being part of the big, bad, generic, corporate metal machine:

Seriously folks. You could go out and see any of a number of bands in the next four weeks. What you’ll receive will of course be generic deliverance of generic metalcore by the numbers and certainly you won’t be more than slightly disappointed. The big one this time around out there being the Lamb Of God tour. Which will according to business-planned management crawl itself around the North Americas for the next year and a half or so like a big snake. You could dig that shit and think ‘Holy mutherfucking hell! That shit rocks!’ or you could go and see the Haunted once and for all prove what metal is all about. But only if you want to have a good time. Only if you want to feel alive. Only if you like that feeling of actually realizing everything is not fucked utterly and beyond belief. But I guess if you are a sad, self-pitying son of a bitch you won’t go. Oh what the hell, really, don’t go. Most of those who read this don’t really give a shit anyway do you? You’d rather stay in a saline filled tank fed intravenously with a constant intake of whatever, whoever carries the biggest gun and wad of dollars has to say wants to feed you.

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Actually I doubt that Scott Smith’s book or the ensuing cinematic adaptation really had much influence on the makers of The Haunted’s new video, “Trenches.” But, I’m sleepy and simple minded today and they’re both about killer plants, so, there ya have it. Deal with it, bitches.

The Haunted are doing an awesome tour later this year with Nachtmystium, Kylesa and Intronaut. While you’re waiting for it to come to your town, don’t forget to check out Haunted frontman Peter Dolving’s guest blogs for MetalSucks here and here.

-AR

Ever gone to the fridge and, for whatever reason, ended up making yourself a sandwich consisting of several seemingly incompatible food stuffs that, once combined, managed to still somehow end up being totally delicious? C’mon, you know you’ve done it. Maybe it was the middle of the night and you were tired or maybe you were high or maybe you just didn’t have any turkey left like you thought you did, but somehow you ended up with horseradish and peanut butter both ending up on the pumpernickel and mmmm, it turned out pretty good.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the weird sandwich tour of 2009: The Haunted (whose Peter Dolving has blogged for MetalSucks not once but twice) and Intronaut (whose Sacha Dunable is a regular contributor to MetalSucks) will be the fresh baked bread bookending Nachtmystium and Kylesa as the meat.

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This coming Monday the entire MetalSucks staff will each release Top 10 lists for the entire year in metal of 2008. Get psyched! Things have been slowing down here at the MS Mansion as the holidays approach, but we still found ways to keep it fun this week:

• Axl Rose finally did some press to support Chinese Democracy… but as usual, there’s an asterisk.
• We debuted a new, exclusive Daath track — a medley of Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel and Dying Fetus covers.
• We interviewed members of Clutch, Bison B.C., Dir En Grey, and Fear Factory / Arkaea.
• Job For a Cowboy’s Jonny Davy blogged about urination and hotel trashing, while Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum’s guest blog claimed that Entombed’s Uprising and Morning Star are two of the most underrated albums of all time. Oh, and The Haunted’s Peter Dolving blogged about sleep.
• Gojira’s Joe Duplantier orders you to stop the killing of baby seals but apparently has no problem with ripping New York City a new arsehole.
• Meshuggah + Cynic + The Faceless = The Erection Tour of 2009.
• The metal industry lost a kindred soul. R.I.P. Adrian Bromley.

[Seems that The Haunted frontman / twisted genius Peter Dolving has gotten wise to his record label's marketing ploys and our hopes/dreams/desires to have him write another blog entry for MetalSucks in one fell swoop; and we couldn't be happier. Enjoy Dolving's latest rant on the world, spirituality... sleep. -Ed.]

Sleep, and stuff I think about…

Do you ever think about the amount of sleep you get? I’ve been starting to pay attention to this stuff lately. Seriously trying to learn more about it and how it affects me. Seems like I’ve been missing out on the basics for pretty much most of my life. Really. As it turns out, sleep and food within approximate regularity actually serve a purpose.

Wow.

Oh, and by the way; I also came to the realization that; I am NOT a machine.

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Just because Blabbermouth doesn’t pick up The Haunted frontman Peter Dolving’s MySpace blog rants anymore doesn’t mean we won’t. So if the guy doesn’t want to blog for MetalSucks (his one-off guest blog excluded), fuck it, we’ll just post ‘em anyway! In his latest blog du jour, Mr. Dolving posts an entire email exchange turned pissing match with an Australian fan (or ex-fan, as it were) named Scott. A simple question quickly devolves into a shit-storm of insults. When it comes to Dolving blogs, this is the way we like ‘em.

As you know we’ve played 4 shows in Australia. The Land Down Under.

Now to me, Oz is the other side of the planet, obviously. And besides the Triffids, Hunters and Collectors, Rupert Murdoch, Rugby and “G’day mate” I am painfully ignorant about this huge continent. As it were, we just had snow back home in Sweden and it being spring/summer(?) in Australia I asked, honestly wondering if there was anyone who had never seen snow. This kid, Scott must have been
waiting for a while to rag on my ass. Here’s the little drama that followed… enjoy

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The Haunted have always offered us, the discerning metal listener, the most reliable fallback we could have hoped for in a post-Slaughter of the Soul world. While some members of that recently reunited band have put their various talents to the fulfillment of crusty grindcore (Skitsystem) or eyeliner goth jams (Dani F.’s Tap-dancing Cadaveret), the Bjorler brothers and co. succeeded in a pedal to the floor, no bullshit approach to heavy metal. They created a group that could both distinguish itself from their previous legacy and still maintain a presence around the world. Twelve years and five albums later, The Haunted have shown beyond any doubt the consistency of their output, both in quality and release schedule.

Now, however, with Versus we, the discerning metal critic, are offered a quake and a fracture in the rock solid foundation that previously seemed unmovable. This autumn offering is unfortunately inconsistent, which is frustrating because it has a lot going for it.

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Ponder the Freudian nature of Metallica’s new album artwork as you grill hot dogs this weekend. I know I will. Here are the key headlines from the week:

• Very old Italian friar fronts a metal band, makes most of today’s scene kids look like pussies.
• Metallica released the album artwork for Death Magnetic, which in fact does look just like a hairy old vagina.
• Whitechapel’s new record scanned over 5,000 units in its first week of release… zuh??
• We launched a new mini site-redesign. (BIG ups to our pals at Metal Injection for their help!)
• Tommy Vext and Dino Cazares scuffle backstage at a show; Dino’s wife gets caught in the crossfire and receives some wicked bruises.
• The Haunted’s Peter Dolving blogs for MetalSucks.
• Jucifer gets booted from the stage at a Brooklyn show.
• Snot get back together, hiring Tommy Vext to fill the shoes of the late Lynn Strait. No word about who will fill the shoes of Lynn Strait’s dog.

[We're huge fans of The Haunted's Peter Dolving's MySpace rants; the dude is intelligent, funny, and generally spot on (if you need confirmation of this just look at comments below anything about him on Blabbermouth, and just assume the usual Blabbermouth maxim: that whatever people are saying, the opposite is true). His band happens to be fucking awesome too. So we figured, hey, why not see if he's up for porting his rants to MetalSucks? Through a little bit of luck and some good connections (you know who you are -- thanks, dude!) we are thrilled to present to you the one and only Peter Dolving himself. God bless. We hope to make this a regular feature. -Ed.]

Fuck. My Lawnmower Of Death broke down.

I feel devastated. It’s an english lawnmower, ’cause the english are without question masters of grass. Now why the devastation one might ask. Awright, here’s the deal – I’ve been on tour the last five summers and this year since the Björler twins are doing their little At The Gates outing – it’s me, and my garden.

Nothing comes between us.

I have a really small house, but a huge garden folks. When me and the family, with my now ex-wife (yeah I had to get that in there…) moved in three years ago, the yard was a mess. Littered, no, covered by car tires, scrap metal, twigs, tons of twigs, branches, garbage and old construction debris. I spent weeks, months inbetween tourdates clearing the place up, dragging and burning shit night after night. It drove my exwife crazy, her being a citygirl and all. She’d tell me I was running away. I tried to explain what I saw was there, but you know… “You just don’t spend your time outside all day long, digging around in muck and come in smelling all smoke and soot, we’re your family come insiiiiiide…”).

Well, now I’m divorced, the place looks beautiful and my kids fucking love it. They love it because they’ve been and are a part of making it, creating it as it unfolds. Poetry in fucking motion. Not everyone gets that part of life. But dude, don’t fucking expect beauty to come dropping in your lap. That, little buddy – will not happen.

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While everyone is all in a tizzy about the At the Gates reunion, the brothers Bjorler — with our favorite vocalist/ranter Peter Dolving — have also been working on new music for their other band. By now The Haunted have no doubt finished recording the follow-up to 2006’s excellent The Dead Eye; the album is tentatively called Versus and is due in late September via Century Media.

There’s some fan-filmed live footage of the band performing a new song at a festival in Sweden in June. Sounds to me like The Haunted are continuing to travel down the more moody, groove-based trail they set upon with The Dead Eye, which if you ask me is a good thing. Unfortunately the dick-hole who uploaded the video won’t allow embeds, so you’ll have to watch it here.

Also of consequence is that with a new Haunted album comes more philosophical Internet rants from Peter Dolving. Yay!

-VN

The Haunted are busy working on their new record at PUK studios in Denmark with producer Tue Madsen, and somewhere, in the woods outside of Gothenburg, frontman Peter Dolving is coming out of hibernation to resume his fantastic blog rants.

Just last night we were chatting with the dudes at Nonelouder about how The Haunted’s last album The Dead Eye (also produced by Madsen) was our favorite one yet — but we didn’t mention Dolving’s maniacal journal entries, which include nuggets such as this:

“How I’m feeling? Mutherfucker, I’m fucked. The shit I dream at night you wouldn’t believe. When I wake up I feel like I’m dead, I literally have minor hallucinations for the first halfhour until I’ve drugged myself with enough caffeine and sugar to murder an elephant.”

The Blabberbrat punters seem to ridicule Dolving into oblivion — but I, for one, think his writing is absolutely amazing. His rants on the world, politics, culture, life, psychology and um, oh yeah, music, are all right on the money.

Who thinks we take a stab at giving this guy a shot at a guest column on MetalSucks? If ever there was a match made in heaven. Plus, dude’s gonna have plenty of time on his hands this summer, whatwith the rest of the band members being busy with that At the Gates reunion and all…

-VN