MetalSucks

All this talk about Slash’s upcoming solo album has got me playing “Fantasy Velvet Revolver” in my head once again. Though I still hold out hope that Axl’s idea of having Perry Farrell front the band comes to fruition, I know in my heart that there’s probably a better chance of Scott Weiland rejoining the band, which is admittedly a pretty remote possibility. Remote like Siberia.

So looking through the list of vocalists purportedly gracing the axeman’s new record, I see a number of qualified albeit unlikely candidates to fill Weiland’s still-vacant spot. Yeah, it would be a heavy music lover’s dream to have Ozzy Osbourne sing for the band, considering the craptastic nature of his last few solo albums. Realistically, that would be an unholy managerial nightmare with the potential capacity to yield a catastrophic clusterfuck to put the legal woes of Black Sabbath and Guns N’ Roses to shame. Dave Grohl’s too busy counting his money and playing geriatric rock with his idols to commit to yet another band. These days, Alice Cooper and Lemmy Kilmister have the commercial drawing power of, well, Alice Cooper and Lemmy Kilmister, and maybe would shift a few more units than a Velvet Revolver fronted by an unknown (anyone remember Eric Dover or Rod Jackson?) or that dude from Spacehog. Don’t even get me started on Fergie.

One other name on that list, however, actually makes sense…

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Some months back, Chris Cornell took the first step to undo the self-inflicted damage caused by his god-awful Timbaland-produced solo album Scream: he re-recorded one of its songs as a straightforward soft rock tune. Since then, the former Soundgarden and Audioslave frontman has taken some considerable steps towards restoring his rocker reputation, including performing John Lennon’s “Imagine” on the September 11th episode of The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien and unexpectedly reuniting grunge rock one-off Temple Of The Dog at a recent Pearl Jam concert.

Now comes news that the much maligned Scream will receive a full-blown “rework” to better reflect the rest of Cornell’s easily digested radio-friendly solo discography. Though, Cornell has yet to make any public statement about this, the existence of another re-recorded Scream cut says it all. Listen to this new version of “Never Far Away” and imagine just how positively banal Scream (Naked) will ultimately sound.

-GS

[Gary Suarez is simply irresistible. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

I love playing ths game. The famed Metallica + GN’R + Faith No More run would have to be close to the top of my list. Soundgarden supporting Spoonman. Motley Crue supporting Too Fast For Love. King’s X on the Dogman tour, for sure… check out this performance [sent in by Shane Gillis] of the title track from that incredible record, filmed on the short-lived Jon Stewart show no less.

If you had a time machine that could take you back to any one specific tour (but ONLY one), who would you go see?

-VN

It’s raining in New York today. AGAIN. At least it’s warm; it’s been fucking rainy and cold for all of June (seriously… hoodie weather in June??). I feel like I’ve been cheated out of an entire month of summer. Fuck the world.

Here’s what happened this week:

• More arguing ensued over our 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far list. You bitched and moaned to the tune of 444 comments (and counting) about the #11 pick of Deftones’ White Pony — just as you did last week with the debatably metal Tool (#12) and System of a Down (#14) picks — and then when we finally announced more trve/cvlt/br00tal albums you approved of (#10 Opeth, #9 Gojira, and #8 In Flames), comments were few and far between by comparison. You people are fucking morons. Especially Ziltoid.
• Rumors flew about the resuscitation of Headbanger’s Ball in 2010 with Jose Mangin as the host.
• More shit-talking between the two sparring Fear Factory camps provided us with endless amusement. We wondered aloud whether or not FF should be considered nu-metal.
• Shinedown’s Brent Smith claimed to have insider knowledge of a Soundgarden reunion, to which Axl — and possibly but not definitely Soundgarden’s own Ben Shepherd — took offense.
• We spoke with Scott Kelly of Neurosis and Vinnie Fucking Paul.

We out. Stay tuned in a couple of hours for our #7 Best Metal Album of the 21st Century… So Far. I’ll be at tomorrow night’s Black Anvil show at the new Duff’s location in Brooklyn if anyone wants to come out and hang. See you next week for more shenanigans!

Anyone remember that scene in Spaceballs where Rick Moranis tells Bill Pullman “I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate?”

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I wouldn’t be shocked if Soundgarden reunited. Everyone else is doing it; Chris Cornell needs to try and get his street cred back; I’m sure Kim Thayil could use a paycheck; and then there was that whole Tadgarden thing. In fact, I’d imagine that, at this point, the biggest impediment to a Soundgarden reunion is the fact that Cornell’s ex-wife, Susan Silver, set up the Tadgarden show, which, presumably, means she’s still involved in the band’s business dealings despite what was reportedly a nasty split with the singer.

Now, all of that being the case… in the words of my associate Gary Suarez, I’ll believe the reunion is happening when “I hear it from Kim Thayil’s hairy lips.”

And Shinedown singer Brent Smith, whom Blabbermouth tells me claims he heard from “someone… specifically in their organization” that the reunion is happening, ain’t no Kim Thayil. His lips aren’t even hairy.

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Though recently convicted of murder, Phil Spector is regarded as one of the greatest music impresarios of the 20th century. His “Wall Of Sound” production style made him stand out from the pack, though the final results were not always met with appreciation by the artists with which he worked–perhaps the most noteworthy of these dissatisfied parties being The Beatles. Paul McCartney in particular loathed Spector’s approach on Let It Be, and a very different version of the album appeared in 2003. Whether or not such a revision will occur with Chris Cornell’s Timbaland-produced Scream remains to be seen, but an undeniably rock-centric version of his latest single certainly raises the question.

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Several of you (ok… three) have emailed MetalSucks urging us to check out Seventh Void — the new band featuring Johnny Kelly and Kenny Hickey of Type-O Negative — whose debut record Heaven is Gone just dropped last month on Vinnie Paul’s Big Vin Records. Seventh Void sound nothing like the goth-laden, morose metal played by half of the band in their day jobs; instead we get southern-tinged, bluesy hard rock with little pretense that sounds more like Down, Corrosion of Conformity or early Soundgarden than anything Type-O have done to date. Check out their new video for the Heaven is Gone’s title track below, then have a listen to more on Seventh Void’s MySpace page. Look out for MS interviews later this month with both Johnny Kelly and Vinnie Paul!

-VN

Our bro-bros at Metal Insider brought up a good point yesterday; what’s the point of saying your band is breaking up or going on hiatus if it don’t mean shit in the end? Srsly wtf lolz! With the pending Faith No More and Cave In reunions this Summer literally every band to ever break up that still has enough living members to do so — and even some without — is doing a reunion in some capacity. Last summer’s roster of reunionites included Carcass and At the Gates, amongst others. And don’t front; the Soundgarden reunion will happen eventually. I’d put money on it.

So I hereby declare a moratorium on breaking up. Artistic differences? Don’t wanna hear it. Tired of touring? Tell me that again in a year when your records ain’t selling, you’re flat broke and you’re tired of flipping burgers. Fucked a band member’s girlfriend? Kiss and make up, then have a threesome. Don’t give me no “on hiatus” crap either ’cause that’s just a way of pussyfooting around the fact that you do plan on eventually playing together again. Just say nothing! Is that so hard? Quietly disappear, then come back years later and take the world by storm. Your lives, and ours, will be henceforth be much more drama-free.

-VN

…or at least, he still talks to Kim Thayil, as evidenced in one of the former Soundgarden frontman’s tweets:

Kim just told me that it was pre 1990 that we played Ann Arbor at a place called the Blind Pig. Time flys!

So yeah. Let the reunion rumors run amok!

-GS

Chris Cornell has taken quite the public beating lately, from Trent Reznor’s Twitter taunting to the generally negative response to his recent Timbaland-produced album Scream. (Check out what our own Sammy O’Hagar had to say about it.) Well, perhaps on the advice of some stodgy A&R type at the bloated major label he happens to be signed to, he’s finally decided to respond to some of the criticism via the cutting edge music periodical known as The Washington Post. Below are some noteworthy extracts:

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As reported here previously, on Tuesday March 24, 3/4 of the incomparable Soundgarden reunited onstage at a Seattle concert venue. Kim Thayil, Matt Cameron, and Ben Shepherd tore through a short but potent set that featured three classic tracks: “Hunted Down”, “Nothing to Say”, and “Spoonman”. On the microphone was none other than MR. TAD DOYLE, the Seattle legend that previously brought us TAD and HOG MOLLY, two heavy ass projects that demolished any attempt to define the so-called grunge sound. (His latest endeavor BROTHERS OF THE SONIC CLOTH continues in that awesome tradition.)

Some reporters would have hounded absent frontman Chris Cornell for comment (full disclosure: I sent him an unanswered tweet), but being me I knew the man I really needed to talk to was Tad himself. Thankfully, he was gracious enough to reply to my inquiry and we efficiently arranged a call. If I learned anything from my twenty minutes on the line with him last week, it’s that your musical heroes can sometimes turn out to be totally awesome, down-to-earth people. Tad Doyle is a rock star devoid of ego and bursting with passion and sincerity under an otherwise laid-back personality. As you’ll discover for yourself below, he totally fucking rules.

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I noticed yesterday in the Village Voice that the former Soundgarden/Audioslave frontman turned top-40 hip-hop beat crooner (whose real name is Christopher John Boyle, btw) will be playing a show tomorrow night at Atlantic City’s Borgata Casino & Resort, but before I could even come up with a snappy headline mentioning Cornell’s show as a “bad gamble” or some such other terrible pun, I noticed just a few scant pages away that the once-grunge superstar wailer has two sold-out shows scheduled for next week at New York’s own Webster Hall, which is a huge general admission venue. (hmm…for some reason it says sold out in the Voice but it seems there may be some tix still available online — dunno)

And I immediately had to ask myself, who the hell is comprising that massive audience?

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Speaking of Chris Cornell’s epic fail…

You may remember that Trent Reznor took a shot at Cornell over Twitter last month. Not content to leave “Fuck You” enough alone, Reznor has now launched what is pretty much the funniest, if not most convincing, April Fool’s prank of the year, offering an alleged download of a new album, The Strobe, on the NIN website. Here’s a description of the album:

To download NIN’s new full-length album Strobe Light, PRODUCED BY TIMBALAND, enter a valid email address in the fields below. A download link will be sent to you immediately. Your credit card will be charged $18.98 plus a $10 digital delivery convenience fee. Your files will arrive as windows media files playable on quite a few players with your name embedded all over them just in case you lose them. You will also receive an exclusive photo and a free email account with our partner Google’s Gmail service.

Your email will be kept confidential and will not be used for spam, unless we can make some money selling it.

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OK, so far it seems like a one-off thing, but how incredibly awesome must it have been for Seattle concertgoers to witness 3/4 of Soundgarden reunited onstage together with Tad Doyle this past Tuesday night? (Thanks to fellow twitterer Mark Carrass for alerting me to this. Social networking fucking rules.) Sure, the (literally) massive grunge veteran doesn’t have the vocal range of Chris Cornell, but watching this sweet video footage of the band playing “Nothing To Say” makes it evident that that’s beside the point. You wont have to dig much deeper on YouTube to catch the clip for “Spoonman” featuring former Cornell cohort Tom Morello on rhythm guitar. Fortunately, no Audioslave songs were performed.

Mr. Cornell could not be reached for comment (I tried!), as he is currently in Chile in support of his latest solo album which nobody seems to like.

-GS

[Gary Suarez feels as if a weight has been lifted. He also writes for Brainwashed and usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

Headbanger’s Blog just alerted me to the fact that Trent Reznor allegedly left the following message on Twitter:

“You know that feeling you get when somebody embarrasses themselves so badly YOU feel uncomfortable? Heard Chris Cornell’s record? Jesus.”

All I have to say is this:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

As you were.

-AR

P.S. I know what you’re thinking: “What the fuck does that picture of Eliza Dushku have to do with Trent Reznor or Chris Cornell?” And the answer is, as far as I can tell, nothing. I did a Google image search for “Trent Reznor” “Chris Cornell” in hopes of finding a photo of the two singers in friendlier times, and instead the picture of Dushku sticking out her chest came up. And since she’s really hot, I thought, hey, why the heck not?

Well, the day has finally arrived. That’s right, Internets: Chris Cornell’s new solo album, the Timbaland-produced Scream, is now available wherever people buy music these days. For me, that place is Amazon, where the MP3 version is already at the super-promotional-discount-to-inflate-Soundscan-numbers-price of $2.99 USD. Now you too can empathize with Sammy O’Hagar and hear what promises to be the Now And Zen of the former Soundgarden frontman’s career – minus the hits, of course!

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Let me begin by saying that I thoroughly enjoy Timbaland. His work with Ludacris, Jay-Z, and especially Missy Elliot has yielded great, forward-thinking results for his genre of choice. Yes, metal faithful, I think Justin Timberlake’s work with him is damn fine pop music as well. However, Timbaland’s best work has been within the confines of pop music, and I have yet to have a problem with that. His first foray into rock – or rock music as I (and many others, in that his work with No Doubt, Duran Duran, and OneRepublic haven’t exactly strayed far from the bands’ roots) know it is a spectacular, bordering on legendary, misfire. Chris Cornell – Soundgarden’s former golden-throated front man that has spent the better part of this decade coasting with Audioslave – picked perhaps the worst partner for his gravelly shout on his latest (even terribly titled) solo album, Scream. And though I am far from one to decry someone’s sense of artistic exploration, I must say that this one is hilariously misguided. The only thing keeping this album from being a so-horrifically-bad-it’s-good triumph is the familiar sound of Cornell’s shriek over a terribly mismatched backing track, a ploy seemingly utilized for the sake of a desperate stab at commercial relevancy. He’s a long way from Louder than Love, Badmotorfinger, and Superunknown, and it’s hard to see how he’d be able to make his way back.

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As threatened previously, I have decided to see Chris Cornell live in concert this Spring, my perverse fascination getting the best of me. Apparently, he did a handful of North American gigs last year, including an autumnal jaunt through select Western U.S. and Canadian cities. From glancing at some of those setlists, it appears that most of those performances were exclusive showcases of material from Scream, the delayed Timbaland-produced album now due out this March. (Those who buy a ticket to these shows will get a free digital copy of the album upon release.)

What’s truly unsettling, however, is what else I stumbled upon in my Intarweb searching: a Verizon-sponsored website that allows fans to create horrible mash-ups of new Cornell tunes and Soundgarden classics. Trust me: you will never think of “Jesus Christ Pose” the same way again.

-GS

Yeah, me too. That was pretty cool. Well, anyway… here’s a clip of Soundgarden performing “Outshined” live in 1991.

-VN