VH1 HIRES SHARON OSBOURNE TO TEACH CHARM SCHOOL; EXECS AT VH1 ADMIT, “WE DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THE WORD ‘CHARM’ MEANS”
So while Richie Sambora is not doing the new season of Rock of Love, Sharon Osbourne has been hired to teach “some of the most notorious contestants from Rock of Love with Bret Michaels the art of becoming more lady-like” for a new program entitled – what else? – Rock of Love Girls: Charm School.
Since Sharon Osbourne knows little to nothing about being a) lady-like or b) charming, I can only assume that Mrs. Ozzy is actually being hired because she knows how to land a rock star and keep a rock star. “Make sure he’s too fucked up to know where he is at all times,” I can just hear Sharon instructing these, um, “ladies.” “That way he’ll never cheat on you and you keep can keep him working and making money for you until the day he dies.”
No word on which sluts – uh, contestants – from Rock of Love will be on the show, but as long as the sloppy drunk chick who kept saying “Don’t threaten me with a good time” shows up, I’ll tune in at least once.