THE HAUNTED’S PETER DOLVING ON FINDING INNER HAPPINESS… THROUGH SLEEP AND PERSPECTIVE
[Seems that The Haunted frontman / twisted genius Peter Dolving has gotten wise to his record label’s marketing ploys and our hopes/dreams/desires to have him write another blog entry for MetalSucks in one fell swoop; and we couldn’t be happier. Enjoy Dolving’s latest rant on the world, spirituality… sleep. -Ed.]
Sleep, and stuff I think about…
Do you ever think about the amount of sleep you get? I’ve been starting to pay attention to this stuff lately. Seriously trying to learn more about it and how it affects me. Seems like I’ve been missing out on the basics for pretty much most of my life. Really. As it turns out, sleep and food within approximate regularity actually serve a purpose.
Oh, and by the way; I also came to the realization that; I am NOT a machine.
Of course, most of you knew that all along, but I actually had some last gasping idealized hopes of robotic Ninja skills. But the last residue of Golan Globus-films and Psychopaths depicted as glorious spearhead champions of the free west is coming to an end. Damn shame too. I mean I actually believed Audy Murphy was a real hero. Turns out he was just another tragic traumatized pillpopping whack-job. And no; The adventures of John Rambo weren’t based on actual events where names and places had been replaced to protect the innocent. I mean, when I watched Apocalypse Now, I thought Col. Kurtz had it DOWN. I thought Full Metal Jacket was a disciplinary tale. And sincerely, felt Blood In Blood Out held a moral code. I watched Harvey Keitel do The Bad Lieutenant and identified…
Yep. Wrong, wrong and wrong.
Basically here’s what I’m truthfully and to my great relief beginning to accept;
I am not a home-cooked Masterless Ninja Samurai, and you are probably just a dude or a dudette too. It’s sad and funny how growing up in a dysfunctional family has had my head reeling in constant diverse attempts to find focus in a never ending stream of complete fucking hogwash. Ridiculously unrealistic and not only time-consuming, but utterly arrogant in regard of cause and effect.
Oh yes… Just don’t look at the reality of it all. Stay put, and keep your eyes pinned on something OUTSIDE yourself, and preferably something dramatic that has to do with what sad lives everyone else are living. Suckers.
In what I hope will one day turn into retrospect, I find it all very “Wow!”.
Like this one; When I feel like shit, apparently it’s not up to everyone around me to adapt and try make
things all better. It seems being tired, overworked or sick does not entitle me the granted right of Hitleresque magnitude I thought it did. Oh shucks! I was so convinced I was the centre of my universe. Turns out it ain’t even mine more than it’s yours.
How about this one; Did you know I can actually plan ahead? Yes, it’s true. Like this, if I don’t sleep, I get tired. Right? Well, If I sleep when I have the chance, as opposed to well, not sleeping – I actually feel better when I’m rested! I know “Wow!”. In my deep studies of the human conditions I found that I’m happier when I choose to smile more. How does that compute?
Somehow I think, maybe, just maybe I might be on to something here. I hear all these sound engineers tell me “Shit in, shit out!”.
That is an allegory. Like the fable about the tortoise and the rabbit. (And if you haven’t got your head around that one yet, this might all be news to you). Allegories, you know, stories that paint a picture to illustrate something else.
OK, I know most of you are aware of this, but you never know, sometimes what I write make it’s way to
Blabbermouth or some other internet forum for geniuses like myself, and well, better safe than sorry, right?
But really. Attitude. It makes all the difference. For as long as I can remember I used to have a standard answer every time someone asked me, “How are you?”. It always started like this; “I’m tired.”…
I know, poor me.
An aware scientist or a 5 year-old kid might find a swift comeback for that, like – “Then why don’t you
get some sleep?”. Smartass. But that is actually the correct empirical question to raise. The logical next
question would be; “Why are you tired?”
So folks, naturally I intend delving deeper into whether I can reach a state of nirvana-like joy 1 hour daily,
if I spend the remaining 23 hours sound asleep. I’ll get back to you on this.
Your humble intronaut / Pete