FORMER STATIC-X GUITARIST CELEBRATES IMPENDING RELEASE OF BAND’S NEW ALBUM BY GETTING THROWN BACK IN JAIL

Tripp Eisen, who has at one time or another been the guitar player for such illustrious acts as Static-X, Dope and The Murderdolls, is apparently back in prison.

For those that don’t remember, Eisen (né Tod Rex Salvadore, which already kind of a porn-y name) went to jail in ’06 after he was caught shtupping an underage girl; apparently he met the young ‘un online and convinced her he wasn’t Tripp Eisen, just some dude who looked like Tripp Eisen. Which I think must be the first time in history a rock star has ever gotten laid by pretending not to be a rock star.

Asked why he didn’t just go the Tyler/Nugent route of becoming the lass’ legal guardian so he could legally have sex with her, Eisen responded “Two reasons: a) it’s too much work, and b) I’m not ready for a committed, monogomous relationship right now.” Fair enough.

ANYWAY, it apparently Eisen went and done it again, according to this website that helps being track local sex offenders: a report says Eisen attempted “to Lure or Entice a Child” in October of ’08. Consequently, he’s been back behind bars since December, where he will apparently remain until October of ’09.

Here’s a picture of Eisen back when he didn’t look nearly as glamorous as he does in the above mug shot:

In other Static-X news, the band is apparently releasing a new album as part of their ongoing effort to prove that there is no God. Although I know it’s wrong to associate the nu-metallers with their former scum bag guitar player since he’s no longer in the band, I don’t especially care becuse, well, fuck Static-X.

-AR