Laugh At Others' Misfortunes

IT’S STILL SO HARD TO BELIEVE THESE TWO DIDN’T LAST

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So apparently the source of the split between Evan Seinfeld (Biohazard/Damnocracy) and Tera Patrick (porn) was Patrick’s request that Seinfeld leave the adult film business. Says an evil tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch:

In her new memoir, “Sinner Takes All,” Patrick recounts how she told Seinfeld, her husband of seven years, last summer that he had to give up starring in X-rated films if he wanted to stay married to her. (Patrick herself had not shot a new video since 2006.) After Seinfeld chose the flicks, the couple split in September.

Writes Patrick: “I said to Evan, ‘I’m your wife, and that is the strongest bond two people should have, and that should come first. I’ve moved on from porn. And I want you to stop. You promised me you’d only do porn for a few years. Your few years are up.’ ”

“My big point was this: Almost every couple in porn breaks up, and I didn’t want to be another porn statistic,” she says in the book. “I didn’t want the porn curse to hit us. I’ve seen it happen to other couples. Doing porn as a husband and wife team is safe, but once one branches out to do people outside the marriage, that’s when the trouble seems to set in.”

After being rebuffed, Patrick fled from her home in Los Angeles to Las Vegas to stay with her mother. Of her divorce, she writes, “Though it was my choice, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t devastated. I so wanted him to tell me he would quit and put me first. But he didn’t and that will forever hurt.”

Why not just call a spade a spade? She asked him for a monogamous relationship, and he said “I’d rather be paid to fuck women who aren’t my wife.” There. The divorce explained in plain English that a two year old could comprehend.
Rather than overthink this any longer, I’m now just going to direct to you to some Patrick-Seinfeld porn. Try not to get any on the keyboard, m’kay?
-AR

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