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OKAY, NOW IT’S LIKE BRET MICHAELS IS GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE UNCOOL

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You would think that being the singer for Poison would embarrassing enough. Not for Bret Michaels. He wants people to remember him when he dies, damn it. He is going to be the single most embarrassing human being in the history of rock music if it kills him. That’s why he’s piled a sex tape, multiple I.Q.-reducing reality shows, a major embarrassment at a televised award show, and a song admitting his pedophilic tendencies to his resumé. We’ve seen what the cat dragged in, and it’s name is Bret Michaels.

Now Blabbermouth just posted this interview Bret did with… The Weather Channel. THE FUCKING WEATHER CHANNEL. Bret admits to being “a weather geek” because he tours a lot and – here’s some real insight for ya – “each city brings its own set of different weather.” (You mean the weather in Miami and the weather in Detroit aren’t exactly the same at all times?!? EGADS!!!) Then the interviewer asks him some real searing questions, like “What is the craziest weather you’ve come across?” Seriously, this shit is boring it makes our interview with the kid from Black Tide look like Frost/Nixon. Bret Michaels is such a massive loser that if heavy metal were a high school, there can be little doubt that he’d spend a lot of time in his locker.

By the way: am I imagining it, or at the very beginning of this video does Bret glance at the nice ladies’ boobs? Not that we haven’t all done that from time to time to time to time to time to time, but not while we’re being on television. Sheesh. You almost think he’s gonna say “Awhasa goin’ on?” and then offer her a backstage pass.

-AR

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