The Webernets

I BET THIS GUY NEVER GETS LAID

140

At the new age feel goodery of an elementary school that Vince and I attended, recorder classes were mandatory in the fourth grade. I never quite understood the logic behind this, but I do remember fucking HATING that instrument, and those classes. The instructor was a scary old German broad named Johanna (we called the teachers by their first names – like I said, it was a new age feel goodery), who I’m pretty sure had spent her formative years working as a Nazi. If a single one of us ever hit a sour note – and keep in mind we were all of ten years old – she’d shriek in that evil-souding accent, “NO SQUEAKING!” and slap the side of her boot with a riding crop. Okay, so I might have made up the part about the riding crop, but the rest is true. This woman did not like children, did not like happiness, and, I’m quite sure, did not actually like the recorder.

Perhaps this traumatic experience with the instrument is why I find the work of Urresti, a young man who does covers of metal songs on the recorder, to be so deplorable; or maybe it’s just because the recorder is really fucking lame and ugly-sounding. Ever wonder what Maiden’s “Fear of the Dark” would sound like on the recorder? Yeah, me neither.

Go here to view more of Urresti’s recorder covers… if you must.

-AR

Cody Barrick told me about this dude. Thanks, Cody. Ugh.

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