• Axl Rosenberg

So in case you haven’t been following the madness, late last year it looked like Steven Tyler was leaving Aerosmith, and then he came back and things were s’posed to be all hunky-dory in the Aerocamp, and the band has even been touring again. And then suddenly it was announced that Tyler is gonna be one of the new judges on American Idol, and, that news seemed to divide the Aerofamily yet again.

Then, earlier this week, things took another interesting turn when Joe Perry ass-bumped Steven Tyler right the fuck off the stage during a show. We got a lot of e-mails about it, but didn’t write anything because it appeared to be a perfectly harmless accident with absolutely no deeper meaning:

But Napoleon once said “There is no such thing as an accident,” and I think Freud probably would have agreed with him. And so the above incident might reasonably be considered the physical answer to a Freudian slip.

And now Tyler has slipped Perry right back, bopping him on the head with mic stand — again, “by accident” — at a recent gig (go to the :32 second mark):

It’s getting more and more difficult to see these events as accidents. If tomorrow Perry “accidentally” breaks Tyler’s leg, and then on Monday Tyler “accidentally” stabs Perry, and then on Wednesday Perry “accidentally” shoots Tyler, and then on Friday Tyler “accidentally” decapitates Perry, no one should be surprised. ‘Cause this is turning into some full-on Wile E. Coyote vs. Roadrunner, Spy Vs. Spy, War of the Roses shit.

Which would lead any logical person to the same conclusion many fans have had for the past fifteen to twenty years, which is that Aerosmith should just call it day already or, at the very least, have the good taste to die. They clearly don’t like each other, and they stopped being cool a long time ago. And while I actually think that they still put on a better show than a lot of their contemporaries who are still beating a dead horse (e.g., Kiss), I wouldn’t exactly be sad to never get to hear “Dude Looks Like a Lady” live again.

Of course, they won’t break-up, ’cause they’re too fucking greedy. So when these two actually do kill each other on stage, I just hope some cellphone cinematographer captures it from a good angle, so we can all have a good chuckle.


[via Classic Rock]

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