Cinemetal

(HED) P.E. LATEST BAND TO HIRE SINGER’S NEPHEW TO DIRECT VIDEO

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Once upon a time there was a band called hed (p.e.), and they wanted to make an awesome stop-motion animation video for their song “No Rest for the Wicked,” which was a totally original song title that they had thought of all by themselves. They wanted to make a stop-motion video because a) it would allow them to personally skip the video shoot and b) sometimes stop animation in videos is cool, like in Tool’s “Sober,” or, more recently, Porcupine Tree’s “Bonnie the Cat” and Serj Tankian’s “Left of Center.”

Unfortunately, the band didn’t have any money, and for some reason it didn’t occur to them to contact the instructor of the six-week intensive animation course at the local community college to see if maybe any talented students wanted to do it for the price of a credit.

But then The Singer, whose name would later be forgotten by a blogger suffering from a case of Wormrotitis* and far too lazy to look it up on Wikipedia, remembered that his nephew had said something about taking an after-school animation class. And since he had heard that just getting your nephew to do your animated video in his spare time had worked out really well for Slayer, the band decided to go that route.

But oh noes! The Singer from hed (P.E.) didn’t realize that Slayer’s Nephew was in a high school animation course, whereas The Singer’s nephew was only ten years old, and his after-school program was taught by the shop teacher, who needed to make some extra money to pay for his daughter’s braces. And so the resulting video was a complete fucking mess, and the subject of much derision.


And they all died.

The End.

-AR

*Symptoms of this condition include an inability to fall asleep due to being so jazzed from the previous night’s Wormrot show, cough, running nose, and diarrhea.

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