Green Eggs and Slam




From what I understand, it is not okay for “real metal” fans to like any deathcore bands. For example, you are not allowed to be into both Deathspell Omega and Winds Of Plague, because WoP don’t have the right haircuts or clothes to be considered a “legit metal band.” It is also important to share your unsolicited, excessively strong opinions whenever deathcore bands come up, letting everybody know that you “are into real metal,” and that “deathcore is the worst shit ever.”

With that said, I’m confused about how there are a few deathcore bands that seem to get a pass from metal nerds: Darkest Hour, The Faceless, Between The Buried And Me, etc. The same people who get very, very angry about the popularity of bands like Suiside Silence or Miss May I love The Black Dahlia Murder, All Shall Perish, and The Red Chord, which is weird to me because they do not really sound any different.

Can anyone help me understand this??? Why are some deathcore bands considered “generic garbage for idiots who shop at Hot Topic” but other deathcore bands are “brilliant musicians who keep pushing the boundaries of the genre,” according to metal nerds???

Darkest Hour

I think it’s funny that these guys are considered “real metal” now, because they are actually hardcore kids. I used to like Mike’s old band Battery a lot, because they were one of the few bands who played old school hardcore in the mid 90s, when everyone else was playing metalcore (ironic, right??). In fact, I have always thought of them as “Mike from Battery‘s side project,” but now that I think about it, they were the first people from the hardcore scene that I can think of who started copying At The Gates. In fact, I think you could argue that they invented deathcore (srs). Anyways, they really don’t sound any different from Miss May I (only not quite as good at their instruments), so I am not sure why metal nerds love Darkest Hour but hate Miss May I???

The Faceless

I know some people will say that these guys aren’t deathcore, but I’m not sure what else you would call them?? Their logo is a fake death metal font in purple and neon blue, they are from the Valley, and they have short hair. They fit in much better with the Warped Tour/Suiside Silence crowd than with real death metal like Devourment or Skinless, and use tons of melody/over-complicated riffs. If it walks like deathcore and talks like deathcore…..

Black Dahlia Murder

Musically I don’t really like this band (I am not into melodic music), but they came up in the 90s DIY hardcore scene just like I did so I support these guys 100%! Anyhow, I’m really happy that they have come so far but again they are not so different from widely-hated bands like Black Veil Brides or Parkway Drive, at least in terms of their music. Since they sound pretty similar, I guess the reason nerds like Black Dahlia Murder but not BVB is because of the way they look???

The Red Chord

Whenever Sumeriancore bands come up, metal nerds are all “OMG I hate those bands so much only stupid little girls on Tumblr like that crap!!!!!” I don’t really like that stuff either, because I am more into straightforward hardcore bands like Terror and Hatebreed than the tech-deathcore scene, but I don’t see why someone who likes The Red Chord wouldn’t also be into Born Of Osiris, Veil of Maya, or all those other “Verb The Noun”/”Noun Of [ancient, mystical reference]” bands.

PS- Although I don’t really care for these guys musically, I do remember that their guitarist used to post a lot on the Audiogalaxy video game music forums back in the day. He seemed like a cool guy and if I remember, likes Double Dragon a lot!

All Shall Perish

To me, this is the epitome of generic deathcore: really sterile, computerized production, screechy vocals, and riffs that are like “check it out guise I’ve been practicing.” This song even has a really boring, generic breakdown/chorus that would be perfect to put on the back of t-shirts in Impact font (“Your god can’t save you”). This is exactly the kind of thing I would expect people to hold up as an example of how creatively bankrupt and dull deathcore is, but from what I understand, they are actually popular with metal nerds??? Baffling.

Job For A Cowboy

I like this band OK, but I think it’s really funny how when they first came out everybody was like “WTF this band sucks they are posers/not real death metal!!!” Then they put out their second album, which was basically generic late-90s death metal like any of the 8962323 jillion bands who ripped off Cannibal Corpse and Suffocation at the time, and then everybody was all “I guess they are OK this record is pretty sweet.” LOL @ people who are scared to like a band because they are popular!!

Between The Buried And Me

Again I know some people won’t think this band should be called deathcore, but I have a hard time thinking of what else they would be?? They came up in the 90s hardcore scene (via Prayer For A Cleansing), they have short hair, play really complicated riffs, and are neither hardcore nor death metal. I guess if you wanted to call them metalcore that would be ok but since they don’t really have breakdowns I think that makes them deathcore??? IDK. Either way, not really my thing musically but they are probably cool guys and I bet they like Day Of Suffering!!

What do you guise think???? Why do metal nerds jizz over these deathcore bands, but hate on other, way better ones?? Do metal nerds hate the more talented, original bands like Suiside Silence and Winds Of Plague because of the way they look????? Do you ever use The Faceless’ record as a sleep aid?

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. is confused by the opinions of nerds every day at Stuff You Will Hate.

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